Trying to make dinner plans with friend, who is in the wrong?

[lolit]

My friend invited me to dinner and I responded suggesting a restaurant and told her I have a half-price voucher for this restaurant. She agreed.

Today is the day of the dinner, she messaged me ignoring the previous agreement and suggesting a different restaurant. I was annoyed about that, not just because she ignored our previous agreement, but because the reason I suggested this place is because I can't afford a full-priced meal right now. I didn't directly say that, but I figured with the cost of living it's implied to be honest.

Also, the restaurant she suggested is Indian and I just went to an Indian restaurant yesterday and don't want to eat the same food two days in a row (I know that might be weird, but I'm autistic if that matters). So I replied saying "I went to an Indian restaurant yesterday" again, thinking that the part that I don't want to have Indian food twice in a row is implied. But she didn't understand what I tried to say and just said "me too" 😂

My question is, is it unreasonable to think that both of my messages were pretty clear on what I meant if you just used common sense? Not everything needs to be spelled out.

YABU- You should have spelled it out, how is she supposed to know what you meant
YANBU- the opposite

Ffs it's not "hijacking" to suggest a change of plan to an outing you're already invited on. And she didn't unilaterally change the plans, she asked OP, OP just didn't clearly tell her she'd rather stick to the original.

Asking is obnoxious when they had agreed upon a plan that was predicated on OP's voucher, and unilaterally adding a third person was obnoxious and presumptuous too.

The outing now is totally different to what was agreed upon, all at the behest of "friend." I call that hijacking.

Update, I didn't go. I let my friend know I won't be able to make it because I can't cope.

With the voucher......do you usually just pay for your own meals or split the bill- because some people may look at the voucher as a way you both get a cheaper meal- that you split the bill cost equally and both get a discount?

Yes we both get discount, I used vouchers before with this friend and I always share my discount with her. Tbh if I had a voucher that's only valid for one person I wouldn't use it while having dinner with anyone else because I think that's so cheeky

I wouldn’t say not wanting the same type of cuisine two days in a row a particularly autistic thing…

Don't imply. Just say it.

This is spot on, I work full time and with the cost of living, I can afford Take-Away once a year for the Christmas period

You just take the amount of the voucher off the total bill and split it it's not that hard

This is a friend right? Just pick up the phone and have a chat, miscommunication is easy on text but it's really not that big a deal. I am neurodiverse and often get confused when things seem clear to others as I have a tendency to take things literally. A real conversation resolves it 99.9% of the time

I am unable to make phone calls due to my ND. I currently have missed calls from a month ago I need to return but I just can't

sorry- I can’t seem to edit my post.

YABU.
you wasn’t clear in your messages. How would your friend know you were short of cash if u didn’t mention it?
I wouldn’t be suggesting a meal if I was short of cash. If I was short of cash I would suggest going for a walk and a coffee

It seems to be a thing at the moment that a person feels it is unreasonable that another person has not understood their implied wishes. They say " I am autistic" implying the other person is being discriminatory without any thought that their own message was not clear or if the person with whom they are communicating might also be autistic or just not a bloody mind reader!

I don’t think you have been clear in either of your messages and I don’t think you can assume that things have “been implied”.

If I got your text that you had an Indian yesterday I would not assume that what you were really trying to say was “I had an Indian yesterday so I don’t want to eat that again when we go out”, I would probably think “ok, but so what, why are you telling me that”.

Similarly, suggesting we go somewhere that you have a voucher for does not imply “I’d like to go there because I cannot afford to go elsewhere at the moment”.

If you have vital information to share then share it, do not think your friend can understand what you are trying to share without saying it.

Suggesting the use of a half price voucher doesn’t necessarily imply that a person is short on money. Some people just like bargains and deals, and others are a bit blind/oblivious to the fact that some are finding the cost of living crisis harder than orders. It’s not unreasonable that you didn’t come out and say this outright ,especially as it seemed your friend had agreed with your initial suggestion. So not yanbu exactly.
Regarding the Indian thing- I also don’t like having the same type of meal two days in a row if I’m eating out, not that I eat out that often! So if someone said that to me, I personally would take from that that the person might not fancy it again. However not everyone would see it that way, someone else might take nothing from it, someone else might think it was a sort of ‘haha I had Indian yesterday too I just love Indian so much’ sort of thing. So yes, you probably did need to be clearer that you don’t fancy Indian two nights in a row.
‘Hey friend, I thought we had agreed to go to X and use my voucher. Not really fancying Indian two nights in a row plus I’m a bit skint and would like to use that voucher before it expires, is that ok?. Leave out the bit about being skint if you want.

They had an agreed-upon place and time! How is that not clear?

The other party has created the issue by trying to change things.

It is often a trait of autism that people assume others know what they are thinking.
If I were you I would go for explaining things even if you think it’s obvious. Then, friends can’t claim they didn’t know.

You haven't been clear. Just say you have a voucher, and you can only afford to eat out with the voucher. No one is wrong.