to think you don't leave your kids in a shop unattended?

[Misthios]

You;d have thought it obvious but clearly not. DD has a summer job working in a shop in a large shopping mall. The name/brand of the shop is unimportant but it's the sort of place which primarily sells stock appealing to under 10s. Sort of like Claire's Accessories / Build A Bear but not - independent place. Anyway, DD has said that at least once a shift she comes across small children who have been left in the shop while the adult they are with goes to the loo, or into the clothes shop next door Or children who come in saying "mum says she'll be here in a minute" and 20 minutes later they are still there.

These are 5/6/7/8 year olds. DD was quite shocked and asked me if this was normal - whether I'd ever left her or her brother in a shop when I went to the loo or elsewhere. I said it wouldn't have ever occurred to me - if I needed the loo when I was out shopping, they would come too. The only time would be somewhere like soft play if there was someone I vaguely recognised from school who I'd ask to keep an eye open for 2 minutes while I grabbed a coffee or whatever.

Why do parents think this is OK? I'm not a paedophile lurking around every corner parent who worries about every scenario but DD's employer is not running a creche, and it would be so easy for a 6 year old to wander off, hurt themselves, or just get upset wondering why mum/dad wasn't back yet.

Madness. Don't imagine anyone will admit to dumping their child in a shop but would be really interested to hear the rationale if anyone will own up to having done it.

It's not OK to take small children to a large, busy shopping centre and just leave them in a shop while you go off to do your own thing. The staff are not there to mind your kids for you, but you know that most people are decent humans and wouldn't just stand there while a child pulls a display over on themselves or is dragged off by a stranger so you are banking on someone else stepping in. The staff aren't being asked to mind the kids, and the willingness of strangers to intervene is something we all of us rely on for ourselves - hence the keeping to places where people around after dark, or expecting that someone else might ring an ambulance if you were taken ill in the street.

It's not the responsibility of retail staff to do your job of parenting.. remember a child can't be left home alone until 12, making their own way to school from 9/10.

While I agree it's not the retail staff responsibility - you can leave under 12 at home.

The law is vague in UK because children are different and it's a judgement call about how responsible they are.

I literally had to as DD1 is August birthday so was 11 for her entire Y7 - and I had to go and pick up the younger kids from their school - so under an hour in house by herself - many of her peers where left along entire days in school holidays at 11.

Depending on the school polices you can also have them walk there and back before 9/10 as well - again area and child and school dependent.

So am i, especially when few would leave an 8/9 year old alone in their own home!

I feel like it’s a big leap from never being left alone to making your own way to school at 9/10. Also lots of children logistically can’t make their own way. If you give a child small chances of independence it’s less of a shock to the system. My eldest went to high school shortly after all the pandemic lock downs. They are allowed into town at lunchtimes and you’d see all these wide eyed 11 yo who’d never had any freedom mooching around unable to work card machines.

Then I don’t really see the issue?

We really do baby our children far too long these days. Eight is plenty old enough to go to a shop unsupervised, especially if there are no roads to cross to get there!

I feel like it’s a big leap from never being left alone to making your own way to school at 9/10. Also lots of children logistically can’t make their own way. If you give a child small chances of independence it’s less of a shock to the system. My eldest went to high school shortly after all the pandemic lock downs. They are allowed into town at lunchtimes and you’d see all these wide eyed 11 yo who’d never had any freedom mooching around unable to work card machines.

My 7yo's got to the age where he isn't as comfortable coming into the ladies with me. Sometimes I'll insist but if we're somewhere reasonably safe, I let him wait outside. If the toilet was right next to a child aimed shop, he's probably not far of looking round a child focused shop for a few minutes, so I could see it happening with 7-8yo's.

5-6 seem quite young, but it depends how well your DD is estimating age. They change a lot in just a few years and before I became a parent I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference between a big 6yo and a small 8yo.

As they are the target age of the shop, I'd say they are also customer's, or at least potential customers. By the time the parents come back, the kids have probably found loads of things they just have to have.

Yep

7/8 fine-5/6 not fine.

Do you think it is the case at least in part because we are babying them for longer? Again, when I was growing up, a 5 year old would be helping out with chores and at 6 I would be sent to run simple errands outside the home.

Haha, yes OP but this is MN where if you say black you can guarantee the first poster will say white and then everyone else will jump on the white wagon.

Of course parents shouldn't be just leaving their 5 or 6 year old alone in a shop while they go off elsewhere, no matter how well behaved they are or how sure you are they will stay where you tell them. They are 5 or 6 years old they are not old enough to be responsible for themselves.

No one would say it was ok to leave their 5 year old alone at home so why would you leave them alone with hundreds of people neither of you know?

“Many”..? Really?

Wild to me how many people are ok with this. A 5 year old left alone in a shop is a massive cause for concern for me. DS1 is 7 and I would not leave him anywhere outside on his own.

I'd much rather he was late to independence but alive and not kidnapped...

Yanbu OP

Yes many with 20% entering reception in my area in nappies and comments from parents of it's not our job, they are too little etc.

Six children per class of 30 six year olds isn’t potty trained?

You didnt say reception. You said five or six. That’s year one.

Yes, it's totally irresponsible.

I would have a five year old with me at all times in a busy shop in town. Why wouldn't you?!

No I have not done it. When a family member was a manager of a toy store they often had to call the police regarding lone young children in the store. Child would fill a trolley with toys then an adult would appear, grab it and run. Very sad how people use children for shop lifting

I think saying they're perfectly safe is a little naive.

I am amazed that people think this is ok at 5 or 6, and certainly not 3! Wow!

I absolutely wouldn’t leave my young child in a shop whilst I dashed off to do XY or Z

The likelihood of something happening to them is probably slim, but I wouldn’t want to put my kids in a situation that could go sideways in the blink of an eye!

Irresponsible parenting imho

Most people in shops are not paying attention to other people's kids - they are focussed on what their own are doing, or thinking about their shopping. No one is actively looking out for these kids, or aware if they are wandering off with a stranger or doing something potentially dangerous. The staff are working. It's madness to just trust that some random stranger will notice and step in if these kids need it. You wouldn't trust a stranger with your bank card but you'd rely on them to keep your child safe?