to think you don't leave your kids in a shop unattended?

[Misthios]

You;d have thought it obvious but clearly not. DD has a summer job working in a shop in a large shopping mall. The name/brand of the shop is unimportant but it's the sort of place which primarily sells stock appealing to under 10s. Sort of like Claire's Accessories / Build A Bear but not - independent place. Anyway, DD has said that at least once a shift she comes across small children who have been left in the shop while the adult they are with goes to the loo, or into the clothes shop next door Or children who come in saying "mum says she'll be here in a minute" and 20 minutes later they are still there.

These are 5/6/7/8 year olds. DD was quite shocked and asked me if this was normal - whether I'd ever left her or her brother in a shop when I went to the loo or elsewhere. I said it wouldn't have ever occurred to me - if I needed the loo when I was out shopping, they would come too. The only time would be somewhere like soft play if there was someone I vaguely recognised from school who I'd ask to keep an eye open for 2 minutes while I grabbed a coffee or whatever.

Why do parents think this is OK? I'm not a paedophile lurking around every corner parent who worries about every scenario but DD's employer is not running a creche, and it would be so easy for a 6 year old to wander off, hurt themselves, or just get upset wondering why mum/dad wasn't back yet.

Madness. Don't imagine anyone will admit to dumping their child in a shop but would be really interested to hear the rationale if anyone will own up to having done it.

He was 2. Not really remotely in the age bracket OP is writing about. She is also more concerned about shop staff than the children, by the sounds of it.

There’s a big difference between asking your 8 year old to wait in the shop (and browse) while you pop into the loo and sending your 5 year old off alone to shop while you bugger off to TKMaxx for 20 minutes.

How do you know they are unaccompanied.

My ds sat on a chair silently whilst I browsed once about 2m from me. He was fiddling with a new toy car! The shop assistant came up and asked if he was ok. He said he was waiting for mummy. She had the indignant look and asked where mummy had gone.

He said "there"

I've been in education over 2 decades. I'm less able to do it now than when I started as kids vary much more.

So that argument doesn't hold any water.

That wasn't the point I was making regarding 3 years old @jannier

I was simply saying that many 3 year olds, and only their own parents would know this, would stay exactly where you left them if they were told to.

I was making no comment on whether that was a sensible thing to do in this situation.

If a child has money to spend fine they are a customer if not then why on earth are there if not as a baby sitting service?

If the unattended child is causing an issue then call the shopping centre security. But based on what I've witnessed in shopping centres this holiday it isn't necessarily the unaccompanied kids causing mayhem!

This 100%. The children who are being left alone are the ones the parents have established are sensible enough. Of course, that might not be 100% true, but then, the parent who has a fake sense of their child's abilities is probably also NOT the parent stopping the child from behaving badly even when they are there.

Interestingly I noticed signs saying children must not be left unattended in two of the larger shops I visited on a local retail park this morning - well known craft and pet supplies stores. Suggests it maybe happening regularly.

Don't you browse shops as an adult.

Sometimes I just look and if I see something I like I may buy it. Sometimes I'll want it and need to save and go back.

No wonder the high streets are dying if browsing can only be done online and is not encouraged physically.

No he wasn't, he was stood next to his mum while she was in a queue

What age do you think would be acceptable to leave a child in a shop at OP? For a 5 minute "popping to the loo" trip, all the way up to a "spending 20 minutes browsing in a clothes store they aren't interested in" period?

But it's interesting you'd feel a library is safer than a non de script shop.

Where do you think someone who intends harm to a child is more likely to be? Yep - in the places that parents are more likely to deem safest to leave their child unattended.

Truth is we have to make decisions at times and sometimes it means not making negative assumptions about something just because or deciding one place is safer than another based on no evidence.

And for those mentioning JB you should be ashamed. He was abducted from his mother's side at 2yo. It should be used as an example of how anything can happen anytime and to decide if you live your life in fear or make reasonable RA knowing nothing is 100% safe.

What do you think would happen to an eight year old in a build a bear shop? Who do you think their customers are? I sincerely doubt their parents are choosing bear outfits.

As for knowing how old children are, don’t be ridiculous.

Mine are a bit older now but I left them in lego or Entertainer for 10 min while I rested outside. From about 8 onwards.

I'm pretty sure I must have left mine alone at some point if I needed the loo as I have boys

I doubt your dd is that good with ages , one of mine is 13 and already 6"2 at 8 he looked much older than he was where as some of his friends looked much younger than 8

Seven upwards I'd say it's ok, six in most cases is too young.

I do think that the lack of independence in childhood has ramifications that extend into adulthood and see advantages to leaving kids in public where they have a task to do. I wouldn't just leave them for the sake of it, but nothing wrong with saying "look at the toys and choose something" for five minutes, to build independence.

And they had money - children do have money to spend, or they decide what they want Granny to get for their birthday or what they will get as a treat for tidying their room next week or whatever. Someimes my children have more disposable money to browse toys than I have at the end of the month when browsing clothes.

5/6 far too young
7/8 crossover depends on the maturity of the kid
9/10 perfectly reasonable and these kids will be expected to commute independently to school once they are 11.

Someone up thread mentioned about shop displays being a risk....shop displays shouldn't be a risk, if a child can pull them over, then they are not safe, and I imagine a parent could easily sue, mind you the shop owner could probably make a counter claim...so everyone sues everyone, it's a winner for the solicitors!

No, he was not

Also suggests that a lot of children who are being left unattended are not behaving appropriately. I can easily imagine that pet and craft stores are two examples of where children are more likely to behave badly. And I'd agree that's a pity, but that's more about parents not teaching their children how to behave than an intrinsic rule that children shouldn't be left.

Perhaps not, but ushering them out to find their parents might.

Yes he was, he'd been trying to run around the shop as 2 year olds do so she had hold of his hand, she let go to pay for her shopping

I duno it's not something I would do but I couldn't get hung up about some well behaved children whose age no one is really sure on waiting a bit and looking at some tat. And your dd can't be 100% sure as to how close the parents are.

She let go of his hand to pay for her shopping - he was right next to her. Please don't post inaccurate information that suggests his poor mum left him unattended.