It’s becoming unfashionable to have kids

[Housebuyingfamily]

Birth rates are on the floor which people frame as, people would have more kids were it not for the cost of them or climate change, etc etc. But I feel like it’s now more than this. As if we have a global child-free culture that’s growing every day and it’s becoming increasingly “unfashionable” to have kids, even looked down upon.

Oh this is so true. Growing up in the 90s we were constantly told getting pregnant was the absolute worst thing ever...so much so I know women in their thirties who were terrified to tell their parents they were pregnant 😂

Are you also aware of the drop in fertility rates ? Opposed to unfashionable ?

Same. Nice and comfortable. Planned exit in a comfortable environment.

There would have been a lot more childfree people in the past if it had been a choice. A woman's only way of staying cf was to be single forever in a time when women were expected to marry.
I find the stats on how many women stay cf difficult to believe, in most gatherings I'll usually be the only cf person there.

It’s become less of a taboo to not have kids. In the past it would lead to people being pitied and looked down on if they didn’t. Am awful lot of people ended up having them by default, rather than because they actually wanted them. Would you prefer that?

I think it’s a very healthy redressing of the balance, personally. You can have a wonderful and highly productive life without children and I think we should celebrate the fact people feel able to embrace that.

Well yes.. if all your examples are from your children's school and toddler group they will all be parents 😂 Surely that's a given and obviously not a reflective sample of society as a whole

Women used to judged for not having kids (or not getting married).

Nowadays, I feel less women get judged for not having kids or getting married.

I don’t think it’s fashionable.
It is just not judged as harshly.

Eight billion of us on the planet, no shortage of people to family up with, you don't need to breed your own!

Is it?? Can you elaborate?

I feel like society is very much not geared towards people with children, which makes it all the less appealing to prospective parents.

Well that's a strange way of looking at it.

It is far more likely that people who would have felt they had no choice but to have children had they been born in previous generations see that they have other choices.

It's not that it's now unfashionable.

It's that there is (slightly) less societal pressure and judgement and people - especially women - feel probably for the first time that they can make a choice other than motherhood.

Which imo is excellent.

Only people who truly want children should have them.

Seems it's the more thoughtful who are opting for zero children.
A shame, as they would probably make very good parents with one carefully raised child.

@JamSandle Well yes, being a parent is forever and it’s not for everyone.

My DH and I are the only ones in our family who chose to have children, his siblings are childfree by choice. We don’t envy their lifestyles and I doubt they envy ours. Different lifestyles suit different people. 🤷

Ironically, my DH is the adult child who does the most for their parents and I do a lot for my Dad. Not much parental support comes our way!

This. It’s only been a fairly short part of human history that we were able to choose to have kids. Women got married and had kids. The end. Choosing not to have children would have meant remaining single. Not an option for most women back in the past.

I thought it was a rise in older mums.

Fashion has nothing to do with it.

Not having children wasn't really a choice in the past. Women were expected to get married and have children. That was just the way it was. These days, it is actually a choice to have them. Many women aren't making that choice now either because they have different plans for their lives, or because their circumstances aren't good enough. But there will always be women who will have children regardless of their circumstances because that biological drive overrides everything else.

It’s the extortionate cost of childcare, cost of living crisis, later marriage etc. some places like spain and Portugal were seeing this trend a few years ahead of us, again due to lack of childcare.

I'm early 40s (1 DC) and have 4 best friends, unrelated to each other. None have any children and 2 are single.

Only on Mumsnet.

In real life the average age for a first time mum is 30.

The irony in this post is probably lost on you.

I’ve got a child and I love her massively, she’s my everything and wouldn’t ever change having her but I also feel like having kids is the most ridiculous and insane thing to do haha. Like we already have jobs etc making life stressful and then we have tiny humans who take away our sleep, independence, sanity… I really respect the choice to not have kids. For me it’s worth it. But for others it just isn’t.

The irony in this post is probably lost on you.

About 50% of my female friends don't want children.

We're early to mid-30s so it's not impossible they might change their minds but none have so far.

People are being a lot more sensible about having kids from an affordability point of view and but then there’s a few that seem to want three or more and I think OMG really, how can you be sure you can give them a decent upbringing.

personally if my DC decided not to have children I won’t be disappointed, I worry about the current young ones I know and wonder what life will be like in 60 plus years, is this a world I would want to be brought into myself, no..

I love my children very much but if was thinking about whether to have children now I wouldn’t. Everything keeps getting harder so god knows by the time today’s babies have grown up there’ll be no jobs, basic houses will cost a million and a pint of milk will be twenty quid. The world, as they say, is going to hell in a handcart.