It’s becoming unfashionable to have kids

[Housebuyingfamily]

Birth rates are on the floor which people frame as, people would have more kids were it not for the cost of them or climate change, etc etc. But I feel like it’s now more than this. As if we have a global child-free culture that’s growing every day and it’s becoming increasingly “unfashionable” to have kids, even looked down upon.

Wel yes, it may be the sensible decision but we should have a society whereby women aren't plunged into poverty by becoming mothers and where men are responsible fathers who take care of their families. We should have a society where decent housing and childcare is not out of reach

For those who keep going on about the birth rate declining...why is that a big worry for you? At a global level we are talking decades upon decades where it will really be an issue in terms of keeping the human race going...so who cares if it's declining. You would think it's a good thing for the planet as less resources are consumed.

Try getting social housing now if you are single child free and female

This is me and a shockingly high number of women I know without children.

Or they managed to find a suitable man but far too late for children to be a possibility.

I'm one of the child-free-by-choice. I'm 59 and chose never to have any when I was 6 after someone tried to pass me a horrible gummy screaming thing. I'm not a fan of kids but I treat my pets as my babies, so does my husband.

But people do not have children to get social housing.

This is a Daily Mail myth (incidentally I know single women without children in council homes.)
Having children costs money. Nobody has children for money unless you are one of the tiny number of women getting knocked up for insanely wealthy men (footballers, billionaires and others of that level.) Not one of the women I know in my family or who I went to school with who has basically chosen to get knocked up young and subsists off benefits has a better lifestyle than me. Not one.

I don't have children, not through choice just didn't work out for me. I have to say I feel it is a lot more socially acceptable and normal now to not have children. I am in my fifties and I really felt like the odd one out during my thirties but I think it is much more normalised now to decide not to have children. No one bats an eyelid anymore.

I wouldn't say it is anything to do with fashion. Just that it is not seen as 'odd' anymore - but then there is so much more emphasis upon diversity and inclusion and that straight with 2.4 children is not necessarily seen as an ideal anymore.

I also think the younger generation are looking at climate change and don't want to bring children into what could be a unliveable world in a generation or twos time.

It’s not as black and white as you are making it though.

For a lot of women it’s a spectrum: if everything comes together and you meet the perfect person at the right time and your finances are tickety boo in your late 20s maybe you go for it then and it’s a no brainer. If you are skint in your late 30s and your partner is abusive and you can’t imagine bringing children into that situation then obviously that is sad.

But there’s many shades in between that where people are pragmatic and adapt to what life throws at them. I was single and childless in my mid 30s and then very unexpectedly met someone and married him and was pregnant within two years (he turned out not to be right but that another story). But if I hadn’t had my daughter I would have been fine with not having kids: I was not the sort of person who is broody or hell bent on starting a family and I would have been relaxed if I hadn’t.

My oldest friend is single and childless at 52 having originally very much children but is now very glad she didn’t have them: she has an amazing life and lots of disposable money.

I think it’s rarely as straightforward as people knowing they do or don’t want kids. Most of the time circumstances play a big part in this. It’s always been like that too: the difference is that 60 years ago women had far less choice in the matter and not having children made you a source of pity. I think a lot of women of my mother’s generation would actually have had far more fulfilling lives if they hadn’t had children than just going along with the default out of inertia and lack of direction.

Anyone who knows they want children above everything else can still have them as long as their health allows it. Everyone else now has the choice to opt for another life without the guilt and pity.

We've never had that type of society. The world of humans has always been about gaining power and making money. Not spending it. They'll invest the bare minimum just to keep the human race going.

Op’s type if comments are so odd to me.

I just don’t see it in the real world, at all.

Everyone I know / have met has kids / want kids / few who wanted, but couldn’t have kids.
Everyone.

Even today’s world people hound you if you don’t have them.
If you don’t have kids (or god forbid you don’t want them) you’re shamed for it.
Even being single is STILL ’wrong’.

Married / in a relationship people and parents are still put high on the pedestal.

So, I have no idea were people like op get their ideas from.
They are not based on reality.

Women don’t have to be plunged into poverty if they are financially independent. Women are capable of financially taking care of their families too.

Surely you know the answer to this?

Everyone is aware of the Catch 22 that the aging population in most wealthy countries means that in a few decades there won't be enough working age adults to support all the elderly people, despite the fact that the global population is increasing.

The aging population (which means lack of enough young people to enter the workforce to balance the older people leaving the workforce and starting to need increasing healthcare and financial support) means that the prospect of retiring while still in good enough physical health to "enjoy retirement" will be relegated to a brief blup in history which only one or two generations got to enjoy.

Today's teenagers probably won't be able to expect a state pension at all, probably they'll have to be reformulated so that the only way anyone can "retire" is on a private pension or after having been assessed as permanently unfit to work due to age related or other chronic illness or disability.

@SouthLondonMum22

Women don’t have to be plunged into poverty if they are financially independent. Women are capable of financially taking care of their families too.

Also this.

I’m glad somebody gets it

Babies who die every 10-15 years. Then you just buy another one.

Lovely.

I don't think this is the case. I don't have any living children and have lost a child as well as had multiple miscarriages.
I've accepted I may not have another child. Rather than live in doom and gloom I've started to really enjoy and be thankful for the things I can do that I may not be able to have done otherwise. A lot of the people living happily childfree have absolutely made that choice for themselves, but there are those among that number who have struggled and have began to see another road ahead of us. Btw I'm absolutely not saying everyone without children couldnt have them before anyone comes for me, just adding in my 2 cents.

What a disgusting thing to say. You should be ashamed

I completely agree. Beyond me how anyone is oblivious to this

Well I'd like to hear from the people who make it because what they are ayaing is have kids ro keep the money rolling in. Noone and I'd be shocked if they do has ever thought yeah ill have kids cos I need them to pay taxes and people's pensions. And if is the reason why they say....well all shades of wrong to be honest

What will have to happen is phasing out of the current way things are done like how they have introduced ed auto enrollment for pe signs to wean people off it so in the future u don't have to rely on keeping abrth rate up and let's face it it's no guarantee they will work as we can see now.

Absolutely this. The accepted narrative is that if you wanted children but couldn't have them you will be sad for the rest of your life. This is not always true. People move on and build happy rewarding lives without children.

Most people still have kids. The difference now is that most people choose to have kids. In the past it was simply you get married and had children. It meant some adults who clearly were not interested in children, still had them. All children should be wanted.

@KimberleyClark

Absolutely this. The accepted narrative is that if you wanted children but couldn't have them you will be sad for the rest of your life. This is not always true. People move on and build happy rewarding lives without children.

Totally. One of the (many) reasons to cheer the fact that women aren’t all funnelled into motherhood by default any more is that they are now allowed to be happy and successful and get on with their lives without the cloud of pity which society used to hang over them.

That’s something to celebrate in my view.

Exactly. People adapt. Everyone has wishes and dreams, but people don't just give up on life and spend the rest of their days miserable when those wishes and dreams don't happen. They form new wishes and dreams to work towards instead.

And the populations NEEDs to fall. It can not keep rising every year. That has led to lots of problems. It will be a painful few decades while we transition, but it will be better in the long run.

I don’t know where you are or what culture you’re from but not having children is quite common nowadays. As is being single. I don’t know anyone - me included (single, child free) - who is “hounded”.

I’d say about 40-50% of my colleagues don’t have children and probably around 30% of my friends.