If you're single and childless what do you do at the weekend?

[Britishsummertime22]

Finding weekends tough.

I have found the opposite in that sometimes I struggle to be on my own in busy places where lots of others are out in couples or groups and find it can exacerbate loneliness if I come back not having spoken to anyone.
having said that it’s a nice feeling popping into the village or nearby town where I live and seeing an acquaintance even if it’s just a quick hi.

I agree with this. Also just having someone in the car with you even it's driving to the supermarket. I am always by myself, and long drives to other towns would be so much more fun if you could share the experience of singing to your favourite cheesy songs together.

What about the number of women murdered every single week by their partners or former partners?

Some in daylight, also.

I'm single and my DS has grown up.
I shoot at weekends, not animals, I'm vegetarian, but I'm a member of a gun club, I go to the gym as I need to lose weight, I did kick boxing before my hips needed replacing (I'm 62) so sadly I can no longer do that.
All these activities help you make friends, keep you fit and all age groups go there.
I'd recommend kick boxing/martial arts to all women. It really increases your confidence and you learn how to defend yourself in an emergency.

What about them?

Well, I think they far outweigh the number of women murdered while walking with their dogs, which seems to be an activity you consider incredibly dangerous.

I don't see your logic there. Because something else is more of a danger doesn't make another thing any less dangerous. I personally don't feel safe walking alone in remote areas. I don't feel at any risk whatsoever from DH.

I'm single and live alone (my children are adults), hope that's good enough.

At the weekend I do whatever I fancy. Which might be meeting friends or family, it might be binging something on Netflix, it might be going to the cinema or the theatre (often alone, sometimes with friends). It might be popping to a different city for a change of scenery. It might be batch cooking on order to make life easier for the next two or three weeks. It might be meeting up with a bunch of people that I mostly don't know in order to play a game we have in common. I might go to a gig, usually alone. It might be sitting home with a book. It might be going out for a cycle.

Nothing groundbreaking, but there's always something.

Yeah the I wish I was single, you don’t know how lucky you are (abusive relationships aside) really get to me as well.

im widowed 3 years, you really really don’t wish this at all. One minute your dh is there and next moment he’s gone and all that’s left are memories and an aching loneliness. I do understand how being in a bad/ even abusive relationship makes you feel, I was lonely in one for 13 years with an ex but it doesn’t compare to being single by choice (ending a relationship) and being widowed.

im on my own now, 3 adult dc 1 has moved to Scotland, one has his own family, and the two teens have their own friends and lives and I barely see them at weekends.

life is so bloody empty, all I can think about is my husband and how we did so much together. My parents have passed, I have no other relatives apart from my brother abroad and my nephew (seriously I don’ t, they’re all dead) and the friends I do have are married and spend weekends as a family (rightly so)

it’s awful, I never used to mind doing stuff on my own but the summer holidays have really slammed it home how crap my life is.

having said that, I’ve been reading this thread and being comforted by the fact that I’m not the only one to feel this way and inspired by some of you that really try and do things to fulfill your life, I’ve taken notes!

A lot of people have mentioned about having single friends, I find interestingly enough that overall it’s my friends who have (school aged or younger ) kids that are better at keeping in touch. Not sure why that is!

I’m also very fortunate that many of my friends invite me to spend time with their family, they’re not the type who only want to spend time with other “mum friends” or other “couple friends”. They have those too of course but they are still happy enough to invite me over for dinner or a family bbq or have me over to stay for a few days or come over with their kids.

A couple of years ago I was going to be alone for Christmas which I genuinely don’t mind too much nowadays, and I don’t really tell people about it but I think an old friend of mine cottoned on. He is married with two young kids and a wife - and invited me to spend it with them.

I wasn’t sure at first as I didn’t want them to feel sorry for me, but I decided to go along and it was lovely and it didn’t feel like a pity thing. It’s moments like that I’m really grateful for some of the people I know. Same as when lots of people forgot a birthday but an old friend texted me a lovely video of her and her kids singing happy birthday to me ( and sent a gorgeous present)

I understand people we busy and they have other priorities - kids and partners will always (rightly!) come first but it’s nice to be remembered sometimes!

Some people go on about their “little family” and it’s cute and all, but I like to think if I ever have a family I’ll remember to make space at the dinner table for the singletons!

If something is more dangerous and occurs with greater frequency, then by definition the less dangerous and far more rare occurrence is less dangerous!

I have never heard of a woman being murdered while walking her dog before. It is not an everyday occurrence. My understanding is this poor woman was murdered as part of a robbery, and was walking her dog at 5am - not daylight, in any case. There are not bands of people out there looking for dog walkers to murder. But at least one woman a week is murdered by a partner.

Sounds like bliss!
I'm single with DS at uni and thinking of getting a dog/s.
Do you manage okay with yours being on your own? I mostly wfh but occasionally need to go out on site or to office for meetings.

Yes I'm the same when someone asks asks what my weekend plans are (or the past few days I've had off!).

So far I've been for a few long walks in the woodland near where I live, done the garden, cleaned the house and bumbled about generally.

Other people seem impossibly busy! I can't be doing with that in my 50s as an introvert.

WHATEVER I FUCKING WANT

That's why its' so great

No it's really not. Let's say hypothetically the danger of a lone woman being murdered in a remote area is 1 in 100,000 and the danger of a woman being murdered by her partner is 1 in 10,000.

The fact that you are statistically more likely to be murdered by your partner than a stranger doesn't affect how dangerous it is to walk in a remote area. It's still 1 in 100,000.

Sadly there have been quite a few instances of, particularly lone female dog walkers, being murdered in the last few years. Let alone women being sexually assaulted.

The level of domestic violence/murder has absolutely nothing to do with how likely you are to be attacked as a lone female in a remote area. Except that it demonstrates just how dangerous some men are.

I personally do not feel safe walking alone in remote areas. If you do, great. But trying to convince me it's safe to do so because of how many men kill their partners is neither logical nor persuasive.

I'm usually on my own when I go for walks. Never really thought about being attacked.
You can't live your life in fear.

I walk for like ten miles or more in rural places and did when no mobiles too.
Recently two walks around Luton town centre alone of an eve doing the art trail , and with my camera on view. In a supposedly rough town (well not supposedly, it does have high crime) Again, fine...
But, I've had two ex partners beat me up and try to kill me....it's not strangers I worry about.

As said, can't live life in fear, and men don't stop themselves from getting out and about so I refuse to as well otherwise I'd never go anywhere

I also love live music.. . happy to go to gigs alone, have done for about 35 yrs

All of that said.... I am not sure what you are doing airing your fears of lone walking (with or without a dog) on a thread about single women and their enjoyable weekend pursuits when you have a husband.

Females can get attacked in rural isolated places. Or they can be attacked in one of the busiest tourist hotspots in London late on a Monday morning in the middle of August. You could be killed by a partner. You could be blown up by a terrorist next time you get on public transport. You can either be paralysed by fear and live half a life, or rationalise it and mitigate the risks as best you can and get out and about. It is still the case that most lone female dog walkers, most female tourists, most women in relationships and most people just going about their business are not murdered or otherwise harmed.

I live in a very urban area (in a shit neighborhood, no less) and am always out late at night, alone. I feel less comfortable in the countryside but that's because I'm a townie and am scared of cows. But even then, I would be more worried about having an accident and not being found than a stranger attacking me.

Do we need to hijack the thread with a debate about the safety of dog walkers?

Exactly. You have no idea of my personal circumstances or why I'm on this thread. I asked people who said they enjoy long walks alone if they felt safe doing so, which is perfectly reasonable on a thread about activies that people do alone on the weekend. I don't know why you feel the need to police my presence here or ridicule my fears. This thread was a nice supportive one with lots of good ideas. Hopefully we can get back to that.

Exactly? You agree with me? You have repeatedly insisted that people who enjoy long walks alone - which would include me - are not safe, even in daylight.
You were the one who brought up your DH:

I personally don't feel safe walking alone in remote areas. I don't feel at any risk whatsoever from DH.

Good for you.

I've often walked alone, since I was in my teens. My major worry these days would not be being attacked, but of falling and not being able to call for help. I think my risk of being attacked is higher walking home from the town centre, but I do that too, even in the dark.

It is relevant, though, because if people feel more at risk being out and about on their own, it will restrict them from doing things thry might otherwise enjoy. I have a friend who is amazed that I go on holiday alone, but if I didn't, I wouldn't go anywhere, and I would regret that far more than never taking any risks. You have to decide what you are and aren't comfortable doing, and live with the consequences of that, be it a great experience, being attacked or staying home and ensuring you never meet anyone- which some people are happy with, because they find absorbing hobbies. But we are all different and we each have to decide what will work for ourselves. Others can only give ideas.

I don't understand why you are continuing with this ridiculous attack. I said "exactly" referring to the fact that you don't know why I'm on this thread and don't know my personal circumstances.

I don't know why you keep bringing up domestic violence when it's completely irrelevant.

Please can you just leave me alone and we can get back to the helpful discussion of what people who are alone can do at weekends.