If you're single and childless what do you do at the weekend?

[Britishsummertime22]

Finding weekends tough.

I am not single and have small children. So my weekends are very busy with lots of things, most of which I wouldn't choose to do! I sometimes envy my best friend, as she has a very different experience.

She plays netball one day and coaches her nieces football team the other, so her mornings are busy from early (though not as early as my baby believes is morning). She goes to the gym, has brunches, walks lovely places, does galleries and museums, meets with friends, comes to my house for a Sunday dinner, and good chat.

She is able to clean her whole home in a couple of hours (if it is not already it's usual level of pristine). She has a white kind of velvety recliner thing. This would be insanity in my house. She has a white sheepskin type rug and lots of cream/white cushions. Yet she spends only a small amount of time cleaning 🤯

She does have no children and her partner works on the rigs, so she has lots of time, and grows stuff, has massages, goes to the cinema.

He is just lovely!

Completely agree. So smug and unhelpful if someone really is feeling lonely. But please do enjoy your cosplay at crushing loneliness.

😂 I remember a thread on here a few years ago by a woman who was really upset and worried about spending Christmas alone.

the amount of people who smuggly told her how lucky she was not having to entertain a house full of people, the discarded wrapping paper and the noise and the dishes. How they envied her her quiet solitude - they would drop their husbands, children and Labradoodle in a heartbeat to spend Christmas Day alone in quiet reflection. The joyful laughter of small children on Christmas morning has an irritating pitch to it that this lucky, lucky woman would never have to experience🫣.

I’m not childless, but my adult child is an international student and I only see them twice a year. I work full time, 40-50 hours a week.

I read a lot and watch a lot of different types of films. I’m part of a book club (but that’s midweek). I go to the theatre, comedy clubs and gigs, usually by myself, or out to lunch/dinner with friends. I go wild swimming and am part of a Wim Hof group. I do pilates classes twice a week, one of which is on a Saturday.

I do a lot of my cooking, food planning and grocery shopping on the weekend, as well as my housework and things like hairdresser and other self care appointments.

It does depend if you’re in a city or in the suburbs or country though, in terms of what’s going on. I live in a very big city so there’s never nothing to do!

Anything I want 😎

@Bellyblueboy you’re spot on with your posts!

I’ve been in a bit of a (social ) slump for a while so I mainly just stay in at weekends - baking, cleaning, reading and creative writing (I do that as a side career).

however from next month I want to start going to a weekly writing group in my nearest city which meets on a Saturday AND going to church on Sundays . I think that might lead to finding friends /people to socialise with but if not I’ll still be glad to go!

For context, I moved to a town where I don’t know anyone, but even when I lived in London where most of my friends are tbh my weekends were beginning to look the same as they do now.

But pre-pandemic I did more brunch and dinner meet ups, visiting art galleries, theatres, and bars with my friends and sometimes going to friends kids birthday parties or having people over occasionally for dinner. I’d usually socialise with others at least one day of the weekend.

Hopefully I’ll make more friends to do that kind of stuff with up here.

The other thing I do a lot is travel, I’ve been away twice this year. Once solo and once with a friend. I’m going away again later this
year, and will be going solo but visiting a lot of my friends who live in the country I’m visiting.

I know it’s so tough, I’m in a similar position and even though I don’t consciously feel lonely I think subconsciously I am and it manifests as stress and anxiety.

One thing I have noticed in the the past year or so is that if I don’t contact some people I may never hear from them again. I didn’t do this on purpose exactly but around spring of this year I stopped contacting people that I was always checking up on to see if they wanted to meet or just to see how they were.

I don’t know if it’s because I don’t Iive in London anymore (but I have gave them an open invite to visit ) but I’ve heard nothing from some of them for months . Not even a “hey hi hope you’re enjoying summer”, or “look at this funny meme” or “when are you next coming to London”

And you know what that’s perfectly fine , it actually just feels like such a burden has been lifted because I somehow got it into my head I was responsible for maintaining all my friendships. I know now that I’m not! 😅

My door is open, but I’m not going to be the one to arrange social meet ups all the time. if that means friendships wither away then so be it.

Single and childfree. I enjoy the fact that I don't have to care for anyone but my cats, now that my mother has gone into care (I was her carer for seven years). I'm enjoying having my own place and not having to live with anyone else for the first time in my life. Weekends I lie in for a while, tool around on the internet, knit, maybe have a chat with a neighbour (I'm in a retirement village), maybe drive down to visit my mother, sometimes have a long chat with my sister, who lives about 2000 km away.

OP, are there any sort of interest groups that meet on weekends where you live? If you can find something like that that sparks your interest, that could cover both the "something to do" and the making acquaintances and potentially friends aspects. I realise the weekend aspect might make that difficult. Good luck!

When I was single with no kids, I did find it achingly lonely. I did a lot of walking, went to see museums and exhibitions I was interested in, met friends for coffees/dinners and went away for weekends and did a lot of wandering around shops.

I did do a lot of evening classes during the week and kickstarted some new friendships

Long-term single and childless. For me, it ebbs and flows a bit - sometimes I easily and happily fill my weekends, other times I feel very lonely.

At the moment I'm studying part-time (while working full-time) so weekends tend to be at least partly dedicated to study. I do have a dog so enjoy getting out to walk him, but he is reactive so I'm a bit restricted with where I can go with him.

Apart from study and dog walking, I usually just potter around by myself - all friends are married with children.

However, my study will shortly be finished so this thread has been a bit of inspiration for me when I reclaim my weekends!

The point I was making (and I am now sorry I did😂)

😊We all knew what you were saying and it was a valid point. Some people just have to be so bloody argumentative!

This is a good point. I’ve been thinking - a lot of people don’t actually mind not having a romantic partner. What they mind is not feeling like they have anyone to have deep one on one chats with or be there for them or someone they can rely on to be around for the weekend.

And the irony is often single childfree woman are the first ones people use to dump their feelings on as there’s a perception that we have more time and capacity to listen.

What I found the hard way with a friend who has kids and a partner that she only expected it to go one way.

For years she used me as an unpaid therapist (sharing deep childhood trauma) and to a lesser extent as a money lender,
but she was nowhere to be found when I was struggling and wanted to talk about it.

I noticed she would turn the conversation back on her. For instance I’ve suffered with insomnia, but if I mentioned I was sleep deprived she’d be more tired. that’s just one example and tbf she did have her sleep issues albeit not as extreme as mine, but it’s more the fact she was never able to have a conversation centred on me, the way we had endless discussions centred on her struggles.

I no longer let her use me like that and I feel so much better for it. We don’t talk much now as she’s clearly not getting what she wants from me 😬 but that suits me fine.

This is a good point. I’ve been thinking - a lot of people don’t actually mind not having a romantic partner. What they mind is not feeling like they have anyone to have deep one on one chats with or be there for them or someone they can rely on to be around for the weekend.

@Bananachocs yes, very true

Friends with kids often mean you don't have much contact as they are busy with home lives.

I've found though it's when friends become grandparents it has become even harder to meet up if you are single with no kids.

I see my friends who are grandparents hardly at all these days as they do so much child minding especially during school holidays. They're constantly on call to help out often at very short notice and sometimes have to cancel the chance of us meeting up or going out somewhere. Hey ho! 🙁

Completely safe. You’re much more likely to be killed in a city.

So fun I miss this 😊

Op I think you need projects - cooking new things, redecorating, making stuff as well as exercise and nature - can you join a walking or cycling group locally or learn to row or kayak?

I had 4 yrs on my own (divorced, adult children) and some weekends I really struggled, particularly the long dark winter ones with shitty weather. If I was unable to arrange anything sociable in advance, I would force myself to go out both days to where there were people, small stuff sometimes, just sit in Costa, walk round the shops, sit in the library reading free magazines! I'd go to the afternoon cinema or take a long involved bus ride to a different town and explore. I made sure dinner was yummy and something to look forward to (with a glass of 🍷), choose a good tv programme and then bath and bed with a good book.

I gradually viewed these days in a more positive way rather than dreading them and then volunteered for a shift in a local charity shop which saved me from my own company. But first of all my saviour was going out where there were crowds and just people watching I suppose, but if I stayed indoors, come 4pm I'd feel a bit dismal. We're all different and it's finding what works for you x

I think these threads always go the same way. Lots of coupled people or parents saying how they wish they were single or how they may as well be single doesn't actually help. Also people saying join clubs,get a hobby etc doesn't help, even if it's well meaning.

When you're in that situation day in day out, it can be, for some, a relentless drudge of loneliness. Yes I may be able to go out when I want and do what I want but having someone to do it with sometimes would be nice. Sometimes you don't want to fill your day with trips to museums or weekends away, sometimes you just want to sit and snooze chat in the garden with someone who loves you. I mean the cat is great, he doesn't answer back and just walks off when he's bored.

80% of the time I'm happy. I don't mind being single and child free now, I do get lonely though. I've never felt more alone than I did when my other cat died recently. Yes people checked in on me but it's not the same as someone being there to help and give you a much needed hug or someone being there when I'm barely holding it together.

So yes being single can be great and I can always fill my weekends with clubs and hobbies and friends but it does have its downside.

Excellent point!

Really depends but in general, I:

• Go out with friends
• Take my dog to the park for long walks
• Go to a gallery
• Bake a cake
• Read
• Watch Netflix
• Sleep
• Listen to an audiobook whilst drawing / painting / clean my flat / iron clothes

Should have said what I do do with my 'weekend' that is actually in the week, not at weekend (sometimes two days together, sometimes split...)
My parents are needing quite a bit of attention right now but before that,...

Go charity shopping
Explore new places...will often pick a new town/ village to visit - usually within a 2-3 hour drive
Go on long walks (usually alone - hate walking with others)
River swimming
Pub quiz
Did go away alone until parents were needy
Go out with my camera (ex photographer)
Go into London on train

I do the above alone, which prefer but will see friends too.. some don't work as disabled, some are self employed so can usually work out a time to suit but I honestly love my own company and prefer doing stuff alone as no one else to please... this did take me until my early 30s when I went backpacking alone and learnt to be solo... in my 50s now .

I think it makes a big difference if you have other single friends to plan things in with or visit round the country.

when single and kids are away I’d always try to arrange one meet up over the weekend even if it’s a quick coffee with a friend as I’m not good in my own company.

do house/garden jobs

exercise eg quite a few yoga classes on Saturday or Sunday mornings

beauty appointments like hair and nails

church on Sundays, if that’s your thing

barbershop choir I was in quite often had “sing-outs” (little concerts)