If you're single and childless what do you do at the weekend?

[Britishsummertime22]

Finding weekends tough.

I don't think you have understood my post correctly as I don't get what you mean at all? Did you perhaps quote the wrong post?

No.
I meant that if your friends never see you because they’re too busy then it’s a bit like you have no friends.

So your friends have to always be available to you 100% of the time or you have no friends? Or if they say they are busy you should fall out with them?
I'm not understanding the point you are making, sorry

I'm not understanding the point you are making, sorry

If you have no-one to go anywhere with because everyone is busy then it feels like you have no friends?

We're talking about weekends here, and married friends tend to be less available at weekends. They may well be very available during the week, and you see them a lot, but this thread is specifically about Saturdays, Sundays and Bank Holiday Mondays.

I think you are over simplifying it.
From personal experience, as I was the last one out of my friends to marry and have kids. I found that if I planned a night out in advance they would be available and we would have a great Saturday night and it would be wonderful... but what about the Saturday after that, and the one after that, and the one after that??
You can't expect friends to entertain you every weekend if they have their own families but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't be friends with them.

You can't expect friends to entertain you every weekend if they have their own families but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't be friends with them.

It was a light hearted remark really. I know people are busy, and certainly you should not ditch good friends, but it’s just struck me as odd to think those with friends and those without could be in the same boat.

I guess the solution would be to get friends who have the same lifestyle as you (ie no children or whatever).

I guess the solution would be to get friends who are in the same boat as you (ie no children or whatever).

It’s fine to have some friends with no kids and partner but it’s not really a feasible “solution”, if you don’t already have them. I’ve known most of my friends for over 10 years. They are really great healthy safe friendships that I’ve nurtured over two decades in some cases. I truly enjoy their company and some are closer to me than some of my family.

If you don’t already have good friends who are in the same “boat” it’s really not easy to just go out and “get” a bunch of childfree friends just so they may be more available.

Myself and other posters have alluded to this upthread regarding the issues around joining clubs.

Firstly it’s harder to make good friends after a certain age, secondly the pool of people above 35 who don’t have kids or a partner is relatively slim. This makes finding friends I genuinely click with and trust, who are also child free and single difficult, and needless to say I don’t just want friends where the only thing in common is that we are child free and single.

TLDR; it’s not easy!

I'm single, adult child living a distance away, friends and and family all at least an hour away.

Summer's fine as I'm busy with lots of things.

I've started volunteering as music festival steward with Oxfam, which is one reason I'm busy in the summer, would recommend it as it makes it free to attend and loads of people go solo. Makes life a bit more exciting too - I did my first ever Glastonbury this year.

I've found a good local meetup group that has a couple of events most weeks. Find one or start one?

Otherwise in winter I have to be careful not to hibernate/isolate too much. I try to have something 'biggish' at least once a month, usually staying sat night with family or friends, or a day trip to local city with theatre or something. You really need something to look forward to.

Otherwise winter box set binges, lazy weekend morning in bed with croissants and a book, getting out for a walk, video calls with people I can't visit, it does drag on though by Springtime.

I'm thinking of a winter sun holiday this year.

But I’m sure you can see I was trying to be helpful and you’re trying to be antagonistic.

He’s out for 12 hours, it’s not just a few hours shopping. I mentioned lots of ideas on how to fill an entire day without a significant other or kids other than shopping. No harm meant.

Judgey much??

If you don’t already have good friends who are in the same “boat” it’s really not easy to just go out and “get” a bunch of childfree friends just so they may be more available.

Depends what you want really. I don’t think you need to have a deep relationship with someone just to hang out with them. But yes making friends when you get past a certain age is much harder.

I don’t honestly think so. I do believe this poster was describing her weekends when she was a teenager and maybe early twenties. She had a large group of best friends who could spend every Friday night and Saturday getting pissed and then had the same best friends to spend Sunday with hungover.

I did that too in my teens and early twenties. It was heaven, and it was temporary.

No judgement. But I assume OP is a lot older - she is struggling with loneliness at the weekend, so it’s unlikely she has a large group of friends who would be this available. Also if older people want to spend their weekends this way, fair play. But lots of people’s activities broaden - they might still do this occasionally but usually not two nights every weekend.

and the older we get the more we want out of our weekends - day time stuff.

but maybe I am just a bitch😎. I have explained this many many times on this thread and a lot of propel have agreed.

Yeah true, I guess to some extent it does depend on what you want.

As well as my close friends, I do have friends who I don’t have super deep or long standing friendships with but I still really click with them on some level and see them as good people that I can go a bit beyond small talk with.

I’ve always been quality over quantity as far as friendships go. So yeah I suppose I’m quite choosy about who I’m spending time with on a regular basis.

If it’s a local place where you may know people?

That's even worse! Walking into your local and people you know seeing you sitting there on your own and feeling sorry for you! Not a chance!

I can’t think of anything worse!

Why assume they would feel sorry for you?

I often have a drink while reading, scrolling on my phone, people watching, etc. and no one need feel sorry for me.

It's strange to me to see how many people were indoctrinated to think being alone = being pitiful. No wonder so many women grasp at the lowest lowlife rather than be solo.

I used to work with someone who would go to a certain pub on her own and just hang out but she was a regular there and knew the other regulars. I don’t think it would be a good idea to just turn up at some random pub alone.

I think pubs are places that are associated with socialising (like restaurants) and this is what makes it awkward. Coffee shops on the other hand I would go to alone and do all the things you mention quite happily.

@BettyBardMacDonald Are you just turning up on this thread to let everyone know how excellent and confident you are? That's twice that you have made a big show of disbelief when replying to my posts. First one was about holidaying solo and now the pub.

I'm glad you don't mind doing these things on your own and that's great for you but surely you accept that everyone is different and some people aren't comfortable with these things and shouldn't force themselves to be just because YOU are.

No, I pay no attention to whose post I'm responding to.

Just offering one POV.

Catch up with friends and family, parkrun, country walking, Netflix and voluntary work.

I had a baby at 30. Before then the weekends were my busiest days at work.

If you have free time you could volunteer with whatever charity appeals to you e.g. maybe helping disabled people? So satisfying to know you can help?

You can't really change the areas you have to go if you're on a budget. Cheap flights will go to out of town airports that you may need to travel from on buses rather than trains and arrive in isolated bus stops. Even train stations can be pretty dangerous late at night and you may have to travel at non-ideal times if you're on a budget.

No, I mean a local place where people are all friendly and would chat with you, you could join them. I appreciate a lot of people wouldn’t have that sort of place, but some do. A place I go some women turn up on there own, and have a great night with the other regulars.