Grandparents inviting children not us?

[ariaknox]

I'll keep it short, really torn and not sure what to do
A little idea on family relationships:
Myself, husband, DS 5, DD 2
maternal grandparents- super close see then often
Mother- not close, barely tolerate each other
Uncle and wife- havent seen in 2 years and 5 years before that
Siblings- all close

My grandparents told me a week ago they were planning a family boat trip to celebrate uncle and wife's wedding anniversary and if we could make it. We said yes let us know dates and times
Grandmother called this evening to tell me she booked the trip but the boat only holds 12 people and with the immediate family we come up to 14, i was about to say to her that its fine we'll come another time no worries
Then she says she would like to take my children so it fills to boat spaces (basically saying she'll take the kids not myself and my husband)
I was a bit torn and not sure how i felt about it as firstly a boat is the type of place i will be glued to my small children (they will lean/jump/fall/dive off) and secondly none of these family members have ever spent time alone with any of my children (grandparents once looked after DS when i was giving birth to DD thats it)
I told my grandparents that i will speak to my husband about letting the kids go with them and let them know what decision we come to

My grandmother then proceeded to say that she'd love to take them so that uncle can see the children and get to know them
And she says that he asks her about them all the time.
This set me off.
Uncle has my number as does his wife in the 5/2 years of their lives he has never contacted me to ask how they are or anything about them
Probably doesnt know their full names
My kids will have no clue who they are

Anyway the conversation is going down hill but she is my grandmother and i would never disrespect her so repeated that i will let her know once spoken with husband

Then at the end of the phone call she says to me that if anyone cancels then my husband and myself can take their place

Im torn

1. I dont think anyone on that boat will supervise my children correctly
2. Why should i send them to see family members who obviously dont care about them enough to call/text to see if their alive
3. Being invited as a last resort only if someone cancels feels embarrassing
4. The kids will love a boat trip
5. Day for me and my husband to ourselves

Aibu to have decided already that i will not send my children?
Should i just let them go?
Or does anyone else think that the whole scenario was just degrading embarrassing and hurtful?

I would not let my kids at that age go on a boat trip without me. The End.

I presume they'll be drinking. So that would make it even more of a big fat NO from me.

Just say, "I don't want my children to go on a boat without my supervision."

Another big fat no from me.

Hang on. They booked a boat, on your birthday weekend, and invited everyone else instead of you? And then said they want your kids but not you?

And you’re not offended?

Why the fuck not? They sound vile.

@Leanmeansmitingmachine
Grandparents dont celebrate birthdays for religious reasons so it doesnt bother me about it being my birthday weekend for that reason

Absolutely no way would I allow 2 young kids on a boat without me and DH. DC1 is 12 I might consider but the other kids are 7 and 5 and it would be a no chance. It's far to risky.

Yeah but still, if they know you will be celebrating then suggesting to take your children away for the day is very insensitive.

The entire situation is just mean to be honest, even if they aren't doing it intentionally. It looks like they don't consider others feelings at all.

The fact that it's on a boat would be a definite no from me. Especially when there are so many people - that's when you end up in the situation that someone thought someone else had their eyes on the kids and suddenly realise no one was watching them. No way would I be comfortable with that situation

This is so odd, obviously you are right not letting your small children go but why would a group of adults want kids joining them anyway? I would be gutted if I was having an anniversary party and children I have never met were invited, it changes the whole vibe surely

Thank you for the invitation, unfortunately Aria, Mr .aria and the little Arias are unable to join you, hope you all have a lovely time.

I actually stopped reading once I saw it was a trip on a boat. No way would my DC be going without me.

Stick to your guns.

Why did she book the boat knowing it couldn't take you all?
It's al.ost like she dosent want you there.
Say no. You'll never forgive yourself if something happened.

If uncle wants to get to know your children he can invite you all over.
Bet you won't hear from him again.
It's all odd.

In my opinion she is just losing it. That is all.

No way , and if anyone drops out dont go , its like your second choice

My child is very close to my parents but I would not want to send them on a boat without me. You're not being unreasonable at all.

2yo is so, so young as well. Mine is 2.5 and I just couldn't even imagine her going on holiday without me... on a grumpy day she won't leave my side and even my mum struggles to calm her if she freaks out over anything and they're super close. It's just not at all worth the worry for you or for them.

Unsafe. Please don't let them go without you.

This is how I feel tbh. You GM’s risk assessment is appalling

Especially on a boat aged 5 and 2 and probably involving alcohol.

I mean what could possibly go wrong????

Putting a pin in the family dynamics. Your children are 2 and 5 and this holiday is on a boat. The answer can only be no for safety reasons.

Clearly your kids can't go without you, especially the 2 year old. Another option might be to suggest that you go with the 5 year old. Then you get the family catch-up, and the uncle gets to meet the child that might actually remember next time they meet.

No I would not send a 2 and 5 year old on a boat with their great grand parents. I wouldn’t enjoy the time off with the thought of them on a boat without myself or my husband.

I'd be running a mile from this even if I was invited.

Just say it's a lovely idea and thank you for the kind invite but we are really not comfortable sending the kids on a boat trip without us. They are at the "eyes of the back of your head" stage and you would not get to spend any time celebrating with A&U. We would be reluctant even if we were going so please can I suggest you invite other adults and we can celebrate another time with them.

There is nothing I can think of which would make me send my kids on a family boat trip at ages 5 or 2, without either me or their father. They are tiny children who don’t need to be accessories to other people’s events.