Grandparents inviting children not us?

[ariaknox]

I'll keep it short, really torn and not sure what to do
A little idea on family relationships:
Myself, husband, DS 5, DD 2
maternal grandparents- super close see then often
Mother- not close, barely tolerate each other
Uncle and wife- havent seen in 2 years and 5 years before that
Siblings- all close

My grandparents told me a week ago they were planning a family boat trip to celebrate uncle and wife's wedding anniversary and if we could make it. We said yes let us know dates and times
Grandmother called this evening to tell me she booked the trip but the boat only holds 12 people and with the immediate family we come up to 14, i was about to say to her that its fine we'll come another time no worries
Then she says she would like to take my children so it fills to boat spaces (basically saying she'll take the kids not myself and my husband)
I was a bit torn and not sure how i felt about it as firstly a boat is the type of place i will be glued to my small children (they will lean/jump/fall/dive off) and secondly none of these family members have ever spent time alone with any of my children (grandparents once looked after DS when i was giving birth to DD thats it)
I told my grandparents that i will speak to my husband about letting the kids go with them and let them know what decision we come to

My grandmother then proceeded to say that she'd love to take them so that uncle can see the children and get to know them
And she says that he asks her about them all the time.
This set me off.
Uncle has my number as does his wife in the 5/2 years of their lives he has never contacted me to ask how they are or anything about them
Probably doesnt know their full names
My kids will have no clue who they are

Anyway the conversation is going down hill but she is my grandmother and i would never disrespect her so repeated that i will let her know once spoken with husband

Then at the end of the phone call she says to me that if anyone cancels then my husband and myself can take their place

Im torn

1. I dont think anyone on that boat will supervise my children correctly
2. Why should i send them to see family members who obviously dont care about them enough to call/text to see if their alive
3. Being invited as a last resort only if someone cancels feels embarrassing
4. The kids will love a boat trip
5. Day for me and my husband to ourselves

Aibu to have decided already that i will not send my children?
Should i just let them go?
Or does anyone else think that the whole scenario was just degrading embarrassing and hurtful?

Another vote for no way. Too many risks for two little kids and no parents.

No way I'd allow my kids on a boat trip like that without me and mine are much older than yours.
End of.

Hell no. If anything, I’d suggest getting babysitters and going without the kids - but not after all that.

Nobody would take my young children on a boat without me. You only have to take your eyes off them for a second. ‘No sorry mum if you want to take my dc without me you’ll need to book a safe location, absolutely not a boat. But tell uncle he’s always welcome to phone or visit.’

And it's a no from me. The thought of it flips my stomach on your behalf.

I think this falls under the category of “not a necessary thing to do”.

I think your safety thoughts are very sensible. I would send the parent whose family it is, with the older child. This or nothing I reckon

No way would my kids go on a boat trip at that age

Not a chance

My grandmother then proceeded to say that she'd love to take them so that uncle can see the children and get to know them
^

He can come and visit, you can go to his, meet at a park???

I would not send my DC for any of the first 3 reasons. I would also not go myself if someone cancelled.

I would let them go if it wasn't a boat.

On a boat, absolutely not. No.

Absolutely not, As a grandparent who looks after young grandchildren weekly, I think that is a huge responsibility you take yourselves. On special occasions people get distracted etc. You need all your eyes on your children..

A 2 year old and a 5 year old? Are they used to sailing or being on the water?

If not, no way would I let them go without at least one parent!

Hard no to the toddler being minded by great grandparents on a boat. I'd offer to meet for coffee before they set off, or for a drink when they get back. Just you taking the 5yo would work too if you'd enjoy that. I'm not sure why you're super offended about the invitation when you admit you aren't close to your uncle, is it just because a brother was invited? Family dynamics vary of course but my aunts will often invite one or another of us to do things, and it isn't practical to always invite everyone, so I'd find it confusing if a sibling took offence.

There's no way I would ever trust anyone else supervise my toddlers on a boat (except my sister). We had our wedding near-ish a lake and I told my sister to keep an eye on my toddler, even if someone else said they had him, because I didn't trust anyone else to watch him properly! Unless you have a hypervigilant family member or two like my sister than no.

I wouldn't want them taking my young children in these circumstances. I would either say no or suggest I could bring the eldest.

I wouldn't be hugely put out about your uncle. I haven't seen aunts and uncles of mine in a while. I know they are interested and share stories aviut all their grandkids when they see my parents. It's just been circumstance.

No. And no again.

That's really rude and I wouldn't let the children go on a boat without parental supervision.

Another no from me, both children will need watching the whole time. When we had our DC, we decided that any invites that came our way that didn’t include us all, we wouldn’t go to. Maybe you go with the 5 year old, but even I wouldn’t be able to watch both DC all the time on a boat. My first DC would have behaved with GP he knew well, but my second DC was a total nightmare at that age and never stopped to sit down, he had to be watched like a hawk.

A hard no. Absolutely not! For all of the points you mentioned.
My blood runs cold thinking about it.

I'm also a no - same reason re safety - I wouldn't be able to rest

Absolutely not! People are careless with kids around water, think someone else has an eye on them when they don’t. No way would a 5&2 yr old be on a boat without me their mother

You go with the 5yo, and only if it is confirmed a life jacket is provided.

We used to have extended family trips down the Thames which were fun.

No way send without one of the parents.

No way would let the kids go without you. If uncle and wife want to see/get to know the kids they should contact you and arrange visit.

Fuck no!

I'd even book a trip away at the same time so I couldn't be guilted into taking the space of someone dropping out.