I suffer from severe anxiety and have a lot of tension in my back, shoulders and legs, I also have plantar fasciitis which can be excruciatingly painful.
I started booking regular massages with a woman who runs her own business. To start with I found it a really relaxing experience and it relieved pain and left me feeling less stressed but after the first few massages things changed.
During a massage I want to clear my mind and relax and enjoy the experience but the therapist started becoming really chatty. She was asking lots of questions about if I had any holidays planned, do I have any children, talking out her own life and family, stuff she’s watched on tv etc…
i felt it’d be rude to say I didn’t want to talk and she might be like that with all her clients, most massages I’d had previously though were silent except for the odd question like about my preference of the pressure or being asked to turn over and the background music playing.
I found it distracting and I was focusing on the conversation instead of just enjoying it, I also started to feel like she was bored doing the treatment in silence which made me feel under more pressure to engage. I like a chat at the hairdresser or getting my nails done as it helps pass the time but during a massage I prefer if to be peaceful and quiet.
I also realised the treatment time seemed shorter as well, it was advertised as 50 minute treatment time but states when booking to get there 10 minutes earlier. I took from the wording that the massage should last the whole 50 minutes and that wasn’t the appointment time.
At my last visit to this therapist the massage was booked for 3pm but I got there at 2.45. I was taken into the treatment room straight away and as i undressed and took my watch off I noticed it was 2.51, I waited around 5 minutes for the therapist to come back into the room and when it was finished I looked at my watch again and it was 3.17 Thats a lot shorter then I paid for and previous appointments had felt a similar amount of time so I imagine they were also cut short.
I didn’t feel comfortable saying anything but I was a bit pissed off and felt more stressed then before I went in! I had arranged things round this appointment. Travelled there and back and paid for parking and it cost £60 which is a huge amount of money for me.
To start with I found it was worth it and I don’t spend a lot of money on myself really, after this I felt a bit short changed.
The actual massage was great except i asked for more time on my feet then anywhere else but they were only massaged briefly. I was asked which areas I wanted focused on so I didn’t just request a different service.
The therapist seemed like a lovely person. I liked her and I like to stay loyal to a business.
She always had someone waiting for her after I was finished so she is obviously fitting in as many clients as she can to make money, I don’t blame her at all but after I realised how short the treatment was I didn’t return.
I started to go somewhere else where so far I’ve had the full fifty minutes I paid for, there is minimal conversation and she focuses on the areas I ask for, I left a tip and good reviews every time.
The previous therapist has somehow found out I’ve gone somewhere else and has sent an email to me asking why and saying she thought I was a loyal client and wanted to know what she’d done wrong.
I felt so guilty reading it and she kind of accused me of not supporting her business and it looking bad to other clients that I’m going somewhere else.
I’m not sure if I should just leave it or reply and tell her straight. I live in a small town and I hate the idea of people gossiping over this, all I wanted was a way to de-stress I’m spending a lot of money on a luxury so it’s no good being more stressed out afterwards!
I know this isn’t an enormous issue and I’m probably overthinking it but that’s anxiety for you!
Would I be better just ignoring her email and hoping I don’t bump into her somewhere or replying and explaining my reasons?
I know it would have been far better to say something at the time but I didn’t have the confidence and didn’t know what to say without it sounding like I was timing her.
I’d appreciate an outside opinion and to know if I’m being ridiculous and completely overthinking this or if it would bother anyone else please?