Behind every sports success is a pushy parent. Aibu to agree?

[Breakdancing]

https://non-perfectdad.co.uk/does-every-sport-success-have-a-pushy-parent-behind-them/

I would agree with this article to a certain extent.

They wouldn’t be able to get another dc in a different sport to other competitions

That's very interesting, I've heard this many times.

My DC have never had competitions clash. If they did one day then DH and I would divide and conquer. They would completely understand - they always want each other to do well.

My friend's 16 year old DD has just competed in the Olympics (her team came 4th!! 👏🇬🇧) and she is the least pushy parent ever. Her DD has been doing her sport since she was 4, and every time her coach suggested more training hours or higher competitions, my friend was always shocked. I think she's only just realised how talented her DD is 🤣

it’s about being willing to sacrifice your own time and couple time and family time,

agree, so maybe pushy is the wrong word.

It's a well documented fact that the biggest factor at school that leads to a child's success is supportive parents.

Top set Y10 I had 95% parental attendance (including 3 that I had to phone at an alternative time due to work commitmente). Bottom set Y10 I had 30% attendance.

The same can be said more so for sporting success. Taking kids to training, miles driven to events, cost if equipment, early morning sessions etc... it takes a committed parent to have a successful child in most cases.

My DC have never had competitions clash. If they did one day then DH and I would divide and conquer. They would completely understand - they always want each other to do well.

As I said footballers will play matches every weekend often travelling some distances & I know from DH who was county level swimming weekends were busy….. & again if you have another dc who just wants a play date or to go to a party, I already have 3 in September!

I think you’re the exception to the rule that you can easily facilitate 2 or more dc in elite sport without compromising family time etc.

Oh my goodness, can he get some sponsorship? What type of sport is it?

Parents have to be hugely supportive and committed. But, I also think some ARE pushy, to get very young DC noticed, or to get coach feedback, to encourage DC to go even if theyre tired /nervous/ missing a birthday party. Particularly very young athletes competing in senior Olympics at 13 years old: at that level they must be training long hours at a young age where parents have huge influence on opinions etc. Surely if you tell a child they're a skateboarder, dress them as a skateboarder, introduce them as that get them training long hours and buy books, clothes, decor items.that all re-enforce that identity then where is "supportive" and what is "pushy"?

I don't really worry about people thinking I'm a pushy parent if I'm honest. I think people worry too much about judgement when they're just doing the best for their children. I think they're far too many children in need of basic parenting so any parent that is dedicating their time and attention to their child to help them achieve things in life is already doing far far more than many people will

I think they're far too many children in need of basic parenting so any parent that is dedicating their time and attention to their child to help them achieve things in life is already doing far far more than many people will

theres a whole lot of space between neglectful parenting & the Olympics 😆😆

You can have children doing different sports if you're in a club(s) that have a really supportive vibe.

We quite often have others host ds for big meets or we host others. Other families do the same.

Same with training. We lift share around what people are working and when.

I do all the local kids in school holidays (we are a town and they train in the city) because I'm free and it means other parents don't have to juggle work and lifts for that time. My choice.

It's also means when I had major surgery I didn't have to worry because lifts were paid back quite happily.

I know know even within other clubs it can be quite cut throat but we are very lucky that ours is very friendly and us parents genuinely want the best for all of them.

Having watched the programme about Crystal Palace and their juniors and youth team I’ve never seen pushy parents like it. They even banned a parent. Money is the big problem - parents see ££££ signs flashing. Most parents support but it’s often parents who know the sport have dc who do well. Not always of course but riders have riding dc, rowers have rowing dc etc. It’s a way of life for some and they’ve started young. Others have to navigate a path.

My Mum was a pushy parent when it came to my sister who was v talented at tennis. It wasn’t so much the amount of training she was taking her to, it was more her extreme emotional reaction to losses and how invested she was in the results. The pressure was crazy and she almost had a breakdown when my sister decided to give up. It was a very difficult time for our whole family. She wasn’t that interested in our achievements at school though really, even though we did really well academically. It just was tennis, tennis, tennis!

And how would that work if you are a single parent or other parent works away

What programme is this @TizerorFizz ?

I guess that's the decision each family unit makes for itself.
We made it work, it wasn't always easy but we did the best that we could to give our dc opportunities. Dd was lucky to find her thing, all we had to do was give her the chance to play.

And it must be hell if you are a non sporty child being dragged to sport meet ups and training sessions for your rising star sibling.

It would be interesting to see how many are only children, or have siblings much older.

DD performed in Annie when she was 10, which was quite intense with rehearsals etc.

All the other children were either only children or by far and away the youngest except two girls-who were sisters.
I suspect you find similar, simply because of time to do such things

I know a family who are v proud of their two children who represented their country internationally

The other child lives overseas. I have sometimes wondered if they resented the focus on their siblings

DC’s sport yes pushy parents helps. As does having a “status” parent- an actor, successful sports person themselves, prestigious job or otherwise loaded. Anything that gets the kid noticed so they’re given extra opportunities.

not so much with the children themselves, but stuff like getting “in” with the GB officials, getting phone numbers, sending videos, pushing for their child to be on national squads. Meetings and discussions.

pushing for their child to train with certain coaches. I’ve seen a parent ask for other children to be removed from their child’s squad.

money. Money helps a lot.

What sport is this?

Ds sport is all based on speed and rankings. Some is based on the trajectory of improvement.

There's nothing to gain from being "in" with anyone if you simply aren't quick enough.

@Breakdancing Football Dreams: The Academy. Jaw dropping parents and great staff at CP who have to give parents and dc bad news!

Havjng connections can help in some sport. If a parent is a show jumper decent horses come your way. Clearly you need riding talent but you are around good horses from birth. Having rowing at school or uni helps rowers. Most parents give up a lot to help dc but other dc can be left out when a parent is focussed on just one dc.

He’s had some money for equipment, gets Team GB clothing and gear for free, had a small grant (. £2k ) towards travel from a local sports fund but young athletes generally don’t get sponsorship as such. His parents make it work. Just. But he’s one of 1000’s of teens in this position in every sport.
He LOVES it though. Loves it. And when he’s in LA in 4 years time, which barring injury or disaster he will be, it’ll be worth it.
Evennif he medals though, he’ll still come back to a ‘normal’ life, working, getting on with life. They all do. Though his plan is to coach once he stops competing at national level.

As a coach, I don’t t recognise this. Again Inwiuld say having ££ resources will always help.
It’s the good thing about many sports - unless it’s dressage or something that requires tons of money, equipment- it’s more equal.
You are measures on times, accuracy, skill. Who you ‘know’ is neither here nor there if you are very good and willing to work to get better.