To say no to 16year olds flying alone

[Dreamholidaynot]

To America!

I have a set of twins that turned 16 last week. Their dad is American but lived in the UK most of his life, returned home to New York about 6 years ago when we divorced.

His birthday is at the end of the month so he would like to give them a fabulous holiday in New York for about 8 days starting next week. He has an amazing itinerary with every day packed which is awesome.

The problem is, he wants them to travel on their own from London to JFK. They've travelled to the US and other places with me, never on their own and I think it's too much for them to do! The whole airport palaver, 13hr flight, immigration, etc They have an visa waiver from when we traveled there last year but it was still a stressful journey. What if something happens in the way? Cancellations, turbulence, 'baddies'? I'm terrified but I don't want to ruin their lives because of my own anxiety.

I know 16year olds can travel on their own. My son's best friend just returned from France with another friend and I hear this is the age they do this on their own. I just can't imagine it. My ex feels they are more than capable and I'm 'restricting their growth'. He traveled a lot from a young age with the army. He also travels at very short notice due to his work but I usually need more time to prepare for things like this.

Am I being unreasonable to say no to this journey. Would you let your own 16yr old travel without a parent or guardian that far away?

Please be kind, I've posted here because I'm desperate for some real opinions but already feeling fragile because my son is already sulking at me and I the ex pressing me. Time is of the essence if they are going.

Thank you

They were lucky to get away with it! Google it if you don’t believe me!

I travelled to Canada aged 16 with my best friend. You're being ridiculous!

Yes I did. Some people are citing US immigration as a reason to be dubious about them going. I guess there could be something else at play here eg dad renounced his citizenship or only lived there for a few years 🤷‍♀️

I’m saying YABU. I travelled around Italy alone at 17, as did DH around Thailand when he was 17! Let them go, it’s a good experience in independence and sounds like a good adventure.

I flew to Canada alone at 15, changed at Heathrow and then again at Vancouver before reaching Victoria, Vancouver Island. No issues whatsoever. The change at Heathrow was a terminal change as well.

Or, they were not registered as US citizens at birth? Which is quite likely.

I let my 14 year old travel alone from Canada to Orlando, soI think I would be just fine with two 16 yos. They are smart, they can figure out what to do in an airport, none of it is rocket science.

Would you let your own 16yr old travel without a parent or guardian that far away?

Yes I would. We started our DC travelling alone at age 13. First was a domestic nonstop. At age 16 they flew nonstop internationally alone. They are met at airport by relative or friends. It’s the perfect age to practice imho. And as they are twins, they have the advantage of not doing this alone but together.

London to JFK is easy peasy, let them go.

i hate flying on my own as an adult and the us isn’t exactly like Ireland or the uk, security is scary!!! Saying that I’d let him but phone charged, contact information ands check he has everything he needs and some cash in case card doesn’t work

OP- if your twins are US citizens (born of a U.S. dad), then they are required by law to enter the US on a U.S. passport.

They can’t go on a UK passport.

If you genuinely think they are not capable of flying alone at 16 (let alone together) then that would be quite worrying. Unless this is a drip feed and they have some issue that makes them completely unable to do quite straightforward things, then it is fine.

I haven't RTFT so apologies if someone else has already suggested it, but I flew to the States when I was 15 and the airline had special assistance for minors aged 12-16, that might be worth asking about? Flight crew met me at check in desk and took me to the gate, made sure I got my seat and checked on me a couple times on the flight and then again at the other side. It didn't feel like being babied or anything but likely gave my parents a sense of security!

This is exactly what I said 👍

I don't think that's right paddyclampster.

My children were entitled to apply for US citizenship because one parent is American. They're not atomically US citizens if they've never resided there and never applied for citizenship. We didn't apply. They're over 18 now so the window to apply has passed.

Dual citizenship with the US is a tax nightmare. I wouldn't wish it on them.

I digress, they'll be fine on the flight. Hope they have a blast.

OP, they will be fine, they really will. They're sensible and there's no scope for them not to have many sources of help to go to if needed. Their dad will meet them at the other airport. It will be fine.

I think your fear of flying is really doing you a huge disservice here. I'm glad that you're not going to let it rule your childrens' chance for exciting and new travel opportunities. Plan something nice for yourself to do whilst they're away - new and exciting is for you also!

I flew to Australia on my own and back (well, with two others the same age) when we were 14. We were unaccompanied minors on BA so they took us through the gate etc. I'm not sure if this is a thing anymore/would apply to 16 year olds. I would say unless significant ND/anxiety they will be absolutely fine! An adventure! They will be doing this alone soon anyway and you will have no say.

It's fine - they have each other so they're not alone. If you're concerned just drop them at the airport to ensure they're on time.

Mine have flown unaccompanied at 16. In one case, he met us abroad so had to lock up the house and make his own way to the airport on time. I trusted him completely, he was fine and it was a great experience for him. IME it builds trust, agency and confidence.

Good lord, let them go. This is more about you and your insecurities and anxiety then them.
Hope they have a great time and you enjoy your 8 days!

They’ll be fine! My daughter travelled by herself age 14. It’s not as if they’re going to be out of contact. They just need to negotiate airports, which are very well-staffed.

My dd went to Canada on her own when she was 13, my brother to Australia on his own when he was 10! They will be fine!

You need to relax a bit, it's only 2 years til they will be off doing whatever they want and you will have no idea, if they don't have some experience of freedom/making their own decisions and mistakes before then that time will be very hard.

We did this from London to Boston regularly from when my daughter was 14. When they are 16 it isn't even a young adult ticket - you'll pay full adult prices - so no need for 'unaccompanied minor' status anyway.

Agree about the tax. But I like having both. I think the kids in the OP would need to be careful that they didn’t tell border control they had an American father though

But back to the point of the thread, all other issues being sorted - I would let them go!

This! They'll look out for each other, hopefully they get on well with each other!