Is it ever ok for your husband to call you a cunt?

[Thoughtsoncunt]

Had a bit of an argument with DH last night over text, when he was at work. He was very angry at something VERY minor I had done. Today he relaxed all day (because he’s night shift tonight), so I did everything. Did a supermarket shop, put it all away, loaded dishwasher, unloaded it, emptied all the bins, made a lovely homemade meal. He ignored me all day. He got up from his nap and came downstairs, collected his dinner, said I was a cunt last night and went off. We normally eat dinner together, but I just took my dinner into my little office and ate it there alone. Is it ever ok to call your wife a cunt?

No. It's never ok. And I don't think I'd forget it in a hurry, whether he apologised or not.

Personally I would ask him to explain exactly why he calked you that. I would want him to write his reason.

No, never. Truly, he sounds horrible

Clearly housework is your hobby!

He’s not normally horrible 😢

@Thoughtsoncunt
Of course it's never ok for your husband to call you this.
It's emotional abuse. If this is a pattern of behaviour I'd be gone.
What a horrible sad little abuser he is.

No it's not ok to....

Call you names
Leave you to do everything
Behave like a brat and expect to be waited on.
All of the above while you provide more to the home financially.

You're normally "quite solid" but what exactly is he bringing to the table....??

That does not make it ok OP.
Come on open your eyes it's emotional abuse.

I wish I still had my mum to talk to but she died

I work from home, part-time and dh in the office full time and I do more (because I'm part-time), but he still cooks daily, does all the food shopping, shares bath and bed with the kids etc... So working from home is not a good enough reason. Unless you are doing it all when he's not around so there's nothing left for him to do?

Laugh away. But it’s him that is laughing at you.

The next thing you should serve him is divorce papers.

It’s not funny OP. He doesn’t respect you even if he’s usually “nice”. Why do you do everything?

Sitting with his feet up while you skivvy round the house isn't particularly nice behaviour OP.

Unpopular opinion on mumsnet but the word doesn’t bother me. Sometimes, I can be a cunt and so can DP. If he said this to me, I wouldn’t be affronted and neither would he if I said it to him. But if I had explained to him before that this word bothered me, or caused offence, he would never use it towards me because he respects my boundaries. There are other things I do not like, that others may have no issue with that he respects. Does he know you find this word to be offensive and unforgivable? If so, then no it’s not ok. If he doesn’t know that already, then I think you should communicate that to him and try to move forward.

NO!

Yes, he is.

He does nothing around the house, which was part of the argument last night. I do absolutely everything.

His response to you wanting equality in your relationship was to call you a cunt. Think about that. He wants you to shut the fuck up and deal with him being a useless twat. If your mum were still here I imagine she would be absolutely appalled.

Do you genuinely need to ask this? Surely you know the answer already.

Stop minimising his behaviour. He does nothing around the house, calls you a cunt and you’re saying he’s not normally horrible? Are you being serious? If you are you need to have a long hard look at your relationship because this is NOT normal in my world.

Nope. My husband and I have one of those relationships that many on Mumsnet think are deeply unhealthy where we do rip piss out of eachother a lot, but even I draw the line at that kind of nastiness. It's the verbal equivalent of a slap in the face.

Couple that with the fact that he's a lazy useless sack of shit and I'm not really sure what you're getting out of the relationship. Good dick?

Wow. He’s treating you very poorly. That’s disgusting to me. No, it’s not ok

Of course it's not ok - he apologised but does he actually feel remorse? I bet he doesn't.
Think you need a family meeting op!
Now is the time to make changes re distribution of household chores because he needs to learn some respect .
Ugh this would really put me off someone.

I don’t use that word as part of my normal swearing vocab. I know that’s silly but I just hate it and struggle to repeat it.

I would be furious if DH said it about me. To me, it’s such has such a derogatory sound and meaning, I hate it.

LTB

Well he sounds horrible. And i suspect he must be pretty vile because you don't just suddenness into someone who says that to their wife.