To think people at work shouldn't ask 'what happened to your hand?'

[StarShineHello]

Currently have a bandage on my hand due to a skin infection. I have bad eczema which got infected and in a very bad state.

I've had to wrap it up because it's just so gross to see.

Today five different people have asked me what's wrong with my hand.

I don't want to explain my medical issues to strangers.

I understand there's a level of small talk in the bank/shop/post office but to ask someone a medical question just seems rude? It was every shop I went in.

And I just lied and said I burnt myself because I didn't want to go into details about infected skin and my eczema.

AIBU to think people in general shouldn't ask things like that and especially in a professional capacity? It's common sense to not point out something 'wrong' with a customer??

Not everyone would ask, but for absolutely everyone to ignore would be very odd. We all have needs. After dv requiring hospital treatment, it did help for it to be acknowledged and yes I did tell strangers if they asked.

I think it's good to show interest and care for each other.

Bandage more often than not = injury. People are compassionate and like to sympathise when they see someone injured. Really abnormal that you take objection to that.

At least they ask and show an interest

Op, are you always so precious? Frankly amazed you are being so very very unreasonable.

I feel really moany now from what I've wrote on this thread. I do just get annoyed with people in general. I don't know what it is

If you have an obvious physical injury it's natural for folk to show concern and ask. Try not to feel offended and stick to your story if it makes you feel better.

Over the years I have heard people complain about people shouldn't ask what someone does for a living about their holidays, children's ages and lots of other normal questions now this, if anyone asks about a baby's sleep patterns, feeding, when they walk it is being competitive

What are people allowed to ask?

Is it healthier not to talk to anyone?

Tell a different outlandish story to each person that asks. The mystique will drive everyone crazy when they compare notes.

I had a lot of respect for my SIL when a stranger asked her what she did for work, she just point blank ignored him

Context is needed here. Was this part of a conversation with someone she had been chatting to for a while on a train (for example?) Or did some random just walk up to her in the street and say 'hello love, what do YOU do for a job?!'

Well a few years ago had an eye operation which left me with bruises and stitches. I ordered a takeaway and the lovely guy delivering it immediately asked if I was ok. I said yes, I’ve had an operation and he asked again if I was sure everything was okay. He was a complete stranger but he was concerned because he thought I’d been beaten up. I’m not even sure that he believed I was okay, but I was touched that he showed concern. I think he would have tried to help me if I was in trouble, so no, I don’t mind if people comment on bandages or bruising.

It was in a service type setting. I think from her perspective she was in quite a basic or entry level, lower paid job, compared to what she's done since, and didn't want to share that. Personally I wouldn't just assume a woman was working, she might be a stay at home mum etc

People may well be asking this out of politeness and concern for you. You don't have to give them a truthful answer if you don't want to.

It's cultural.

In the UK it is p4rfectly acceptable to ask what someone does for work. It is not acceptable in France which I learnt very quickly.

PS. Misguided respect there @johann12 What a rude woman.

I don't think people realise the impact of meeting 20 people in a day and having to explain yourself 20 times.

My feeling at that moment was it was the man that had been rude somehow. My SIl is a really nice kind person. She's European, tbh I thought it might be a culture thing

Oh well she had every right to ignore them then...

My friend has been retired due to medical reasons since 2014, (when she was 49,) as she has a health condition. No-one's business but her own, and she has good days and bad days. Sadly, her condition renders her unreliable in the workplace. So she doesn't work.

She knows a woman who, EVERY TIME she sees her (which is every 2 months or so,) says 'WORKING are ya?' Friend says 'no, retired now.' Woman says (every time) 'yer too young to retire, don't be stupid. Where you working?' Friend rolls her eyes. 'I said I'm retired. Don't work anymore.' Rinse and repeat every time she sees her. 'WORKING are ya?!'

Nothing to say except 'Are you working yet?! If not, why not!' Friend doesn't go into details as it's naff-all to do with anyone, but this woman is relentless. Last time the woman barked 'hello Sharon. WORKING are ya?!' my friend ignored her and walked off!'

Horrible, nosey, intrusive woman!

Fair enough @johann12

I've experienced infected eczema on both hands at the same time around 18 years ago and it was absolutely horrendous - it looked like cheese on toast. I had to wear cotton gloves (which would stick to my open wounds and then pull off my skin as I took
them off) it really was the worst thing ever.

It is very embarrassing and extremely painful but I expected people to ask why I was walking around the office looking like Michael Jackson in my white gloves! It's human nature and they're probably just enquiring out of genuine care. It's easier to just tell them you've had a very painful eczema flare up, you're on strong steroid cream and you need to cover your skin to protect yourself from further damage. So, you're not BU to wish that people didn't ask but your BU to expect them not to.

I really hope you get it sorted soon, I became allergic to steroid cream in the end and had to have a topical antibiotic. You really do have my sympathies.

Gosh, how dare your colleagues show any concern

I think it is rude.

Just realised they are not your work colleagues which does change things somewhat. Random customers who don't know you is a bit different.

I think any decent, half caring work mate would enquire about your hand being hurt.

I think you need to lighten up. It's natural someone would ask, we're not robots. I would find it more strange not to ask (I have done this on occasion and it's weird because you've noticed but purposely not asking). Just say you have eczema, you're making it much more of a big deal than it needs to be