Dp doesn’t like my new hair style

[Sourgrapes2]

Had it cut shorter yesterday after seeing a bob style that I liked. He pulled a face and didn’t seem very pleased, said he likes ‘long hair better’. Now I’m feeling like I’m now unattractive to him. What would you do?

Sorry, but we like to look lovely for one another. It’s mutual respect.

What would I do?
I'm 45 and like a very short hair, luckily can pull it off.
I would absolutely tell him to fuck off.
Sorry 😁

No need to apologise.

DH prefers me with long hair. But once I hit 40 I was absolutely sick of it and cut it to a neck length bob and later added an undercut at the back. It’s not what he would prefer but frankly if it weren’t for him I would have it much shorter still and have the undercut visible. And it’s not him who has to put up with the time drying, styling it and putting up with the heat it generates. So I’m much happier with it shorter but am compromising to take his preference into account.

During lockdown he grew a short beard because he didn’t want to shave. I didn’t like it but said nothing.

I’m not sure choosing your hair and clothes style to suit someone else is necessary fro respect. Or that ‘looking lovely’ is a sign of respect either. Clean and tidy, maybe. There are much better ways to show respect.

@Sourgrapes2 has he even got hair?????

to be fair, my husband likes my hair longer and so i wont cut it, its preferences at the end of the day, i don't like it when he HAS hair as he looks better when he shaves it off, obviously i would still love him but its just my personal preference, again i hated a shirt he had so he got rid of it and wears the one i love and i wear the dress that he loves. isnt that compromising in a relationship, obviously if he loved the shirt i would have been ok with it but he didnt mind not wearing it so he didnt

It’s why everyone looks so absolutely slovenly these days I guess.

Grow up.

I am confused.

Are yiu saying the people you know dress how they think you would like them to, to show you respect?

But they look slovenly?

I've asked DP not to cut her hair any shorter than it is now, as I don't find short hair attractive. (It's already a lot shorter than it was when I met her)

I don't think there's anything wrong with that particularly. I'm not telling her she can't cut it, just that I'm less likely to fancy her as much if she does.

It works both ways as well. I'd prefer to have a full beard, but DP isn't a fan, and prefers me with a goatee. Personally, I'd quite like DP to keep finding me attractive, so I stick to the goatee. I could change it if I wanted to, but I'd have to accept that I'd probably end up having sex with DP less.

Its not a good idea to comment negatively about something that's a done deal and can't be changed back, but generally speaking I don't have a problem with people who's relationship involves physical attraction to voice an opinion on what is more or less attractive to them about their partners presentation. As to what you do about it, depends entirely on how important him liking your hairstyle is to you.

This.

I mean, context and tone is also important. I've had haircuts where partners have said they prefer it a different way. It's never been done in a way that makes me feel unattractive or that I need to change it, however,

It's tricky and I think the being hypocritical about this is from the history of how objectified women are.
I do agree it's wrong to try and control someones appearance both male and female. You can't criticise a mans hair/beard/dress sense and not expect some back. I think we are allowed opinions when attraction is involved.
But it does somehow feel different as a woman. Because of how we are constantly analysed by men and society. The oppression and control we have been under. A man saying he wants long hair, thinner etc just brings all those feelings up, at a time when women want to do whatever the fuck they want.

lol bless him. 😆

I had waist length hair when I met DH. A few years later I had it cut down to shoulder length - he also said he preferred it longer. Roll on another 10 years, I had it bobbed - been like that for 20 years now and HE still says he preferred it longer! I say, I preferred it when he wasn't bald 🤣

I didn’t ask, I just came in afterwards he pulled a face straight away really. I asked what? And he just said he much prefers long hair and that it’s not to his taste

It’s a chin length bob

How long was it previously?

Love it when someone comes on crowing their attraction transcends the physical 😂

Eh? Slovenly is an odd word, particularly when I expressly said people should be clean and tidy…

Ignore him.

My DH once said he'd prefer me with longer hair. I told him I'd prefer Pedro Pascal.

Your allowed to have your hair how you want just as his allowed to prefer long hair or even a bald head.

As long as nobody is forcing the other to only do their preferred it’s just life.

I like dh without a beard, he can grow one if he wishes I won’t stop him. Though I wouldn’t be as keen on kissing him as I hate beards but it’s his body.

I think folks think they are just oh so droll with this nonsense, if a woman posted and said my husband grew a full beard and I just don’t like it, so I politely said I prefer you clean shaven and he responded by telling me he would rather shag salma hayak , most of the responses would be is he often that much of a Immature wanker.