Dp doesn’t like my new hair style

[Sourgrapes2]

Had it cut shorter yesterday after seeing a bob style that I liked. He pulled a face and didn’t seem very pleased, said he likes ‘long hair better’. Now I’m feeling like I’m now unattractive to him. What would you do?

You've decided to cut your hair how the way you wanted. Good for you.

He expressed he liked the previous haircut better - ok, that's possible, maybe he really likes long hair, maybe he doesn't like change and when he will have some time to get used to it, he will like this new one as well. Anyway, no big deal.

I just don't see the connection between "he liked previous cut better" and "I'm unattractive for him". Do you consider him unattractive when he puts on his most terrible T-shirt ?

In the ideal case you could say that you know you are attractive for him no matter the haircut (clothes, illness, ...). If not, what would help you to get this confidence?

I’d be telling him I like Jason Momoa better…

Go for a buzz cut next time

If my partner came back with a new hair style they clearly liked and I preferred if before, I personally wouldn’t choose to say at that moment (unasked) that I didn’t like it. That would feel a bit unnecessarily unkind when they are clearly enjoying it. I don’t think that is odd or unhealthy. I might mention later in conversation if hairstyles came up. Hsvjng said that, it’s just a hair style, I can’t imagine being particularly bothered one way or another.

Hes entitled to his opinion

Today - give him your opinion about something related to his appearance, that you dont like

A lot of the responses in this thread really play into the stereotype of sensitive female that husbands have to lie to in order to keep the peace.

Tell him you prefer it longer next time you see him naked? Tell him you prefer Jason Mamoa? Christ, grow up. He’s not criticised the OP’s physical appearance that she can’t change, he’s not been mean, he’s not said he doesn’t find her attractive, heck he’s not even said he doesn’t like her new hairstyle! He’s just said he prefers it longer!

My husband and I have passed comment on each other’s hair before, clothes, new shoes etc. I might say I’m not keen on a shirt he’s bought. If he replied, “well I prefer larger breasts than yours” or “I’d rather be married to Jennifer Aniston”, I’d be horrified and rightly offended. But usually it’s just a “ah, I really like it”, and the conversations moves on. Commenting on a hair cut, clothing, choice of make up or anything that can be changed isn’t insulting unless you’re mean about it. Saying he preferred the OP’s hair before she had it cut doesn’t mean he deserves to be hanged. I think a lot of the PPs are very sensitive.

If it's upset you, talk to him

I really wouldn't follow the advice that many posters have given you and start a battle of insults. Both of you will lose.

Your choice, act like an adult or go for playground insults.

Some of the advice on here is terrible.

It's generally considered rude to tell someone you don't like their new haircut isn't it? You wouldn't say that to a friend or a colleague would you so why your partner? Or am I missing something. It's just a white lie.

That is very true. At the end of the day op, it is your hair and you have the ultimate say in it. I wouldn’t be ok if my dh had a beard. It would be itchy and horrible, I have very sensitive skin and even stubble is very disagreeable. So there are reasons behind this and it wouldn’t suit him at all due to his face shape. I want him to continue to dye his hair so that he’s not grey etc but so does he. One thing he doesn’t do is wear the horrible knitted top he bought from Sainsbury’s if we go out together etc.

My dh also prefers me to have long hair. I’ve had it all different lengths since being with him but mainly long as that is also my preference. I had a bob maybe 3 years ago. I kept it for a couple of cuts then decided I wanted to grow it out again. Rather than decide now to grow your hair because that is how your dp prefers you to look, you should also consider your preferences. Not just his.

Long hair is in fashion and ubiquitous at the moment. Generally men are not very imaginative and stick to what's commonly preferred. If you like it , then that's fine. I wouldn't give much thought to what he said as I doubt he did at the time.

It's fine for him to have a preference but pulling a face and behaving as if he's not very pleased would give me the ick.

WWID? Stop allowing my confidence to depend on whether a man likes my hair.

It's your hair, you can do what you like with it.

This may be charmingly old-fashioned but I'd grow it out. My husband has kept his hair on the short side because I like it like that. He promised he'd never grow a moustache ever again too. I wouldn't knowingly wear something that my husband hated.

I think sometimes changes to appearances especially drastic ones can just take a bit of getting used to. I don't think your husband is wrong in sharing is opinion.

My husband also likes my hair longer. He has eyes and an opinion... nothing wrong with that. I usually keep it longer because of him but when I'm sick of drying it for an hour every time I wash it I just cut it a bit more. He is fine either way. Hair grows up pretty quickly. :)

I cut my hair short from long and my youngest daughter hates it. I think it made me look too different from 'mum'. I like it though and she'll get used to it

He just said how he felt. He is allowed to have his preferences, similar to how women prefer certain hair types, beard/no beard, clothing styles etc. on men. Surely he is simply not going find you unattractive because of that! Perhaps don't question yourself over such small things.

Mine likes long hair and has encouraged me to grow it many times, even suggesting extensions. Thing is, it's baby fine and needs to be short(ish). Have had so many compliments about my hairstyle, even from men, and I think I wear the best style for my type of hair, but I know he'd prefer it long. It matters a bit, but hey.

@Bumpingaround Well bloody said!!!!

To those saying it is worse if the comment is unprompted the truth is that he knows that he is in big trouble if he does not comment on a new hairstyle as it it a cardinal sin not to notice a new hairstyle.

He can give some version of the truth or lie.

I think it stings because a haircut something you can't immediately change . There is nothing worse than having a hair cut and people saying they don't like it . If deep down inside OP if you think you have made a mistake cutting your hair shorter , a bob style Is easy to grow out and it won't be long before your hair is longer .

I'm the same my husband liked long hair but I'm older now and my hair is fine since I wear it down to the shoulders . I can then put it up in a clip if I want a shorter look so I get the best of both worlds

He thinks you look better with longer hair.

Better to be honest than fake.

I have long hair and my husband would hate it if I had short hair.

What things do you like or dislike in a man?

I don't like beards, moustaches or tattoos, so what's the issue with your husband having a preference?

Assuming he was just honest and not nasty about it I don't see the issue. If my DH came home with a drastic change that I didn't like I would probably forget myself and pull a face too.

Would you rather he lie?

Also, it's okay to want your husband to find you attractive. All this "isn't not his hair" business is just sad. I care what my husband thinks and I hope he cares what I think.

I wouldn't do anything. My hair, I can do what I like with it - as could any partner of mine. We are all entitled to an opinion, but why does anything have to be "done" about it. You need to develop better self esteem rather than trying to make someone else happy with the way you look.

You don’t need to do anything.

He isn’t keen. If you like it, keep it short. If you don’t like it, grow it.

This really isn’t a massive thing. We all have preference. I prefer dp with a beard. He knows this, when he fancies being clean shaved for a bit he shaves. He prefers my hair dark, I find it a pain in the arse now I am almost 100% grey and am blonde. It’s really not a big deal.