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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect parents to discourage their rude offspring?

116 replies

EffiePerine · 15/04/2008 18:44

Bus today: middle-class other and child (approx 6 or 7). Child blowing raspberries loudly and brave man (this is a London bus after all) asks him to stop.

So what does the mother do? Look embarrassed and hush the kid? Of course not, she tells the man off for daring to criticise her child and then says...

'Don't take any notice of him, he probably has problems'

OP posts:
MaloryTowersTraditionalist · 15/04/2008 18:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
EffiePerine · 15/04/2008 18:45

Mother. Not other. Of course.

OP posts:
avenanap · 15/04/2008 18:46

I'd say that the mother was more rude then the children. They should have stopped when asked but she shouldn't have criticised him. That was out of order.

FairyMum · 15/04/2008 18:47

I don't think children should be aloud on buses at all.

Original poster
EffiePerine · 15/04/2008 18:47

Some of us were brought up to think making ruse noises was to be discouraged in public

I wouldn't have bothered if he was a toddler, but surely 6 is old enough to learn about consideration for others?

OP posts:
MaloryTowersTraditionalist · 15/04/2008 18:48

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avenanap · 15/04/2008 18:48

6 is a bit too old to be doing this IMO.

ScienceTeacher · 15/04/2008 18:48

I would have told my children to stop well ahead of a stranger (who had probably tolerated it long enough).

ahundredtimes · 15/04/2008 18:49

6 is a prime age for raspberry blowing imo.

Blandmum · 15/04/2008 18:49

I suppose that it rather depend on how long the raspberry blowing was going on for, how loud and how close to me.

I once suffered a 4 hour train journey where a family allowed they 3 kids to run up and down the central walkway shouting 'We are the fighting A Team' over, and over, and over again, for 4 frigging hours. parents made no attempt to entertain the kids in any way at all.

I could have happily have told them to stop , but was young at the time and lacked the guts.

It was the same trip where I saw a woman eat an entire chcken. Wierd days!

GooseyLoosey · 15/04/2008 18:50

Unless the child was blowing raspberries at the man, then I think he was out of order saying anything to the child. If it was out of order, then I'm not entirely surprised the mother said something. I wouldn't have done personally and I would have shushed the dcs if they were disturbing other people, but I would have been angry that some people cannot tolerate children being children.

edam · 15/04/2008 18:50

Hardly a good example to set to her child - what's she going to do if a teacher ever dares to tell her precious lamb off?

Blandmum · 15/04/2008 18:51

prbably complain to MN about how awful the teacher is

nametaken · 15/04/2008 18:51

I bet he wouldn't tell a 6ft teenager off no matter what they did.

Women with children are very easy targets for some men.

SueBaroo · 15/04/2008 18:52

Oh, I would definitely have thought the mother should have told her child to stop, particularly when it was obviously irritating other people. Blowing raspberries like that can be intensely annoying. YANBU

WorzselMummage · 15/04/2008 18:54

You think thats bad, one of my neighbours kids ( about 9 ) called me a fucking slag the other day while i was walking to pick dd up from my mates.

I'd have gone and spoken to his mother if i thought she'd give a shit.. she was probably recording it from her bedrrom window to put on youtube.

where do these people come from !?

MaloryTowersTraditionalist · 15/04/2008 18:54

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Fullmoonfiend · 15/04/2008 18:55

blowing raspberries is a primary form of communication for most 6 year old boys I know. That and those farty underarm noises....
However, I do tend to sit on my child when he starts in public.

FairyMum · 15/04/2008 18:55

I can think of a lot of things I object to on public transport. People with bad breath, people bumping into you, people talking loudly on mobiles, people swearing loudly etc etc we tend to put up with it. I bet this grumpy man would have too. For some reason its ok to tell children off. Obviously I don't know how in-your face rude they were. Just blowing rasberries don't sound too bad to me. I think its a real problem in this country with children being seen as a nuisance wherever they go.

YABU

Original poster
EffiePerine · 15/04/2008 18:55

The phrase 'It's a good job your dad isn't here' was also heard.

Presumably he would engage bloke 1 in a fist fight for contravening the boy's human rights. Or something

OP posts:
Original poster
EffiePerine · 15/04/2008 18:57

Oh and the man didn't have a go. He just asked him politely to stop.

OP posts:
Greyriverside · 15/04/2008 18:58

I'd have already told the kid to settle down and be quiet, but when the guy said that I'd have told him to mind his own business.

SueBaroo · 15/04/2008 18:58

yes, but as ideologically perturbing reading the DM is, it's not rude.

And if my children were making life unpleasant for other people on public transport, then yes, I'd tell them to stop.

Mind you, I'd like an extra category about teenage boys being rude to wear too much Lynx. Nearly choked to death on the bus the other day when a group of 5 of them got on.

Original poster
EffiePerine · 15/04/2008 18:58

Ah ut wouod you have told the kid not to take any notice? That's what shocked me, tbh

OP posts:
MaloryTowersTraditionalist · 15/04/2008 19:00

This reply has been deleted

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