To expect parents to discourage their rude offspring?

[EffiePerine]

Bus today: middle-class other and child (approx 6 or 7). Child blowing raspberries loudly and brave man (this is a London bus after all) asks him to stop.

So what does the mother do? Look embarrassed and hush the kid? Of course not, she tells the man off for daring to criticise her child and then says...

'Don't take any notice of him, he probably has problems'

God, ipods are annoying though. Sorry.

"You bohemian permissivist, you."

I am loving this thread, it is SO mn.

Good on the man to ask the child to stop.... although the mother was there, so really it should have been her job. She probably had a go because she was embarassed.

I have frequently told children (up to about 15yrs of age) to stop doing things that are antisocial (and I'm only 27 myself!). Generally they slink off looking silly. I would not approach a big pack of boys in hoodies though, have to admit. I draw the line!
But, kids throwing fire crackers in a bin etc...? Tell them to stop it.

I think the mother was wrong in this situation.
She was very rude to the man who politely asked her son to stop blowing raspberries.
It's not intolerant, or a ig deal, really, just being part of society and respecting other people.
And I fing blowing raspberries really annoying.
I don't mind singing or shouting but blowing raspberries sends me into a rage

Empathy, respect and self-control. We all have to learn these things as children to grow into responsible adults with a place in society. The role of the parent is to teach these skills, among many others.

This is definitely about the mother refusing to teach her child appropriate manners and respect for other people. The child clearly didn't know any better because his mother doesn't teach him this. And the man was out of order because he should have respected the mother's position and asked her to discipline her child rather than doing so himself.

It's not hard to teach your children that some fairly normal activities might be regarded as offensive to some people and if that offence is expressed we should tone down the behaviour.

Just my ten pennorth.

I'm with JeremyVile on this one.

The first squeek of a tantrum on tube/bus/train and the tutting and eye rolling start. I am always on the defensive on public transport and if anyone told my children off in front of me I'd tell them to poke off.

She probably regrets her comment but at the time felt she was backed into a corner in a bus full of strangers judging her, IYSWIM

I imagine he will grow into a callous attention seeker, and anyone who challenges him will be accused of having 'problems'

Actually, I think adults are often pretty benigh around children. I've had sympathetic looks when dealing with a tantrum just as much as I've had tut tutting. I don't agree that Brits are anti-children.

I don't feel defensive when my dc have a tantrum in public. They are just expressing themselves, and I would defend them against anyone who complained.
Blowing raspberries serves no purpose other than spraying spit everywhere

They were blowing raspberries at each other not at the man!

How loud can a 6 year old raspberry be?

We are talking about a London bus where most noise is drowned out by the noise of the engine.

Ok, so everyone has different tolerance levels.

Some people might blow a raspbery back at the 6 yo and laugh and others react like this man did.

Why do people get so bothered by these things...imo the mother and the man where wrong and Effie... why are you so bothered by this?

Things that are perfectly acceptable in one family are not in others....that's how the world works!
It's not like he was shouting abuse or personally offending anyone. I think the 6 yo and the raspberry are completely innocent!!

Johnso - Maybe the boy was "expressing himself" via the lesser known Raspberry Method?

The Raspberry Method has been directly linked to Annoying and Over Indulged Syndrome in a recent study

I'm with Effie

Whether raspberries are acceptable or not is in the eye of the beholder (the beholder here could well have got raspberry spit in his eye ).

But as man asked nicely, even if mother thought "stupid old git" she was setting bad example to children and overreacting. What's wrong with saying somehting liek "sorry they were annoying you" and maintaining dignified silence?!!

'Tis a symptom of a wider malaise - Mumzilla's belief that children Can Do No Wrong

A raspberry!! oh no give that child an asbo

yes the mum was a tad rude, but its only as raspberry!

My opinion is that the kid was rude. Whatever happened to the days when children respected their elders? The child, and his mother, are half the reason this country is in the state that it's in ... (melodramatic but true?!)