To think a lot of homes are “soulless” and all people care about is size?

[Spicegirl1234]

I love homes that are full of personality, stuff picked up around the world in trips, fleamarket finds, family objects, homes that are not perfect but keep your eyes “busy” when looking and fully reflect the life of people that live within them and make you feel warm when you go in.
I very rarely come across such homes, the majority of the ones I see (in RL and online) tend to be very boring with no personality whatsoever and people mainly seem to be focussed on buying the biggest possible places with their money and then upgrading/extending etc rather than enjoying what they have and make it “theirs”.
Does anyone else feel this way about home decor?

Everyone has their own taste and style. My house wouldn’t be everyone’s taste but I like it. I don’t have a huge house but I’d love a house with huge airy light spaces and no clutter.

I kind of know what you mean OP. My house is kind of bland, walls and flooring neutral but lots of framed pictures etc, colourful rugs. We have young children so can’t really have clutter and the house doesn’t have much storage.
My sister is buying a house after probate that someone has lived in for 40 years- red carpets, big swirly carpets, rugs to match the curtains (and frilly bits on the bed that drop down to cover sides- forget what it’s called.) Lots of mementos from life, souvenirs from holidays, collections of spoons mounted on the wall, just so much stuff. I would hate to live with that much stuff but also- houses are so boring now (mine included.) There is so much personality in that house you really think you can get an idea of the lady that owned it.

OP

I am going to judge your house is my idea of hell, trinkets picked up from travels are usually tacky and mass produced for people like you that think you are superior. Clutter collects dust and looks awful, those colourful rugs, books when were they cleaned?

I have a large house that in my opinion is tasteful and has a few pieces that the decor is centre around.

My house does not have any inherited pieces as my Nan knock off g plan furniture was fit for the skip when she died.

It’s purely a matter of personal taste. Your fondness for ‘flea market finds’ is not superior to your friends’ preference for a modern or more minimalist look. It’s just different.

A preference for spacious home isn’t any more ‘soulless’ than a preference for shabby chic. If people have chosen something because they like it, regardless of what it is, it isn’t soulless.

My ideal house probably wouldn’t be like either of the two things you describe, really.

I hate houses that are cluttered with "nick naks, not my thing at all. 🤷‍♀️

I disagree (not online I don't look at homes there) but magazines and friends seem to be full of (curated if in a mag) personality! Yes the odd new build executive type home in shades of grey with no artwork and matcha matchup furniture on occasion but I skip those!
I had one friend whose house was minimal - not in style she just had the bare bones there. No artwork, no ornaments, everything thing white, not even a scatter cushion! I found it so depressing. My own house is very 'lived in' with lots of colour (the armchair I'm in is mustard yellow), art collected from all over, texture and light.

Then decorate your home like this, and others can decorate their homes as they wish.

I’ve rarely seen ‘bland’ houses in real life. Most have ornaments, artwork, photos etc. Houses online are being geared up to sell (or sell a certain ‘vision’ if in a magazine etc.), so they take out as much personal stuff as possible.

Your preference is exactly that, I don’t think there is any need to be so judgmental about a house you don’t have to live in.

Its not the houses OP, it's you. You could just as easily visit friends and think, it's so nice to have all this uncluttered space so we can focus on the company and conversation without distraction of the busy decor. Lovely to be able to sit in airy calm without needing to move aside or step around masses of objects. You can enjoy the style you prefer and take pleasure in something different if you look with a positive rather than critical eye. Which if people are your friends and are kind enough to be hosting you, is surely the appropriate thing to do.

I wonder if the horror of "dust" is part of the whole must wash towels after every use, shower three times a day thing we see on here a lot. That "clutter" is a sign of a undisciplined mind or life

No, I just think it looks shit. There is some evidence to show too that cleaner open spaces reduce anxiety:

Research suggests the detrimental effects of mess and clutter may be more pronounced in women than in men.
One study of 60 dual-income couples found women living in cluttered and stressful homes had higher levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with stress) and heightened depression symptoms.

Different people have different tastes.

Shocker 🤣

@mothsandgoths

of course it can be.

i have too much 'stuff' in my house. Long boring story, but essentially ended up with it all. Sentimentally attached to a lot of it & will need the rest of it when I move. Move has been delayed due to 'life' happening.

its cluttered, but clean, very clean. I move stuff to clean under & behind things. It's not as easy as when it's not over full, but that just means it requires more EFFORT , not that it's not cleaned.

So behave yourself with your unwarranted judgement!!

It seems immensely privileged to even have a decent home, much less the means to be travelling around the world picking up knick knacks in flea markets. Or the family to have family hierlooms. That’s just not reality for many people, surely.

Yes, this! It sounds cool but the sort of home that would belong to a posh person with lots of money.

My home is as you describe and very boho although a certain style wasn’t my aim it’s just my stuff
I do sometimes feel envy of beautiful uncluttered homes when I visit but I could never maintain that or see it as my home.
Personallyni dislike the grey hinch themes and generic canvases/ leather suites but I don’t live in anyone else’s home so it makes no odds

See, I'd love to have a minimalist house, all airy and light and decorated fairly blandly. That's my dream. Unfortunately my house has lots of 'personality', it's fairly small and I've allowed the children (who are at the moving out stage almost) to include their favourite items too, plus past photos, stuff, and more stuff, so it has an eclectic vibe. None of us are good at tidying, so there is clutter. I do manage to keep on top of the bathrooms and kitchen, but dusting is not in my wheelhouse.

I want a large airy house!

I think Instagram and TV interior design progs have made everybody's homes seem like everyone else's business, when really it is somewhere you should feel able to arrange it exactly as you would like it. That's the point of home isn't it. Your stinky little nest.

My husband constantly argues with me about this.
He's picked up all sorts of artefacts and wooden carvings from the travelling round the world that we've done together. All these things have been collected by him. I always admired these things in their own countries, but I never looked at it all with any desire to cart it back to my home to England. At times I thought husband seemed bordering on obsessed to acquire all this stuff from all over the world. For example, he once paid a fortune to have an enormous aboriginal didgeridoo shipped home from where we were travelling in the northern territory of Australia. He can't play one. I couldn't understand why he was so elated with the purchase of one. The shipping and insurance cost way in excess of the didgeridoo. That's just one example of dozens and dozens of things he's bought from countries around the world. He's collected so many dark wooden carvings and artefacts and pieces of furniture and fabrics to lay over sofas and hang up on walls.
I admired all these things in their own countries, but I don't want to to live with my own home full of them all everywhere.
He wants our home filled with all the stuff he's either carted around Asia and Africa and Australia and New Zealand (think Maori wooden carvings) and Indonesia with him, or that he's had shipped home.
He's had every surface covered in his things from travelling, walls covered in tapestries and pictures from around the world, masses of photos everywhere of places we've been to.
My taste for home decor is completely and utterly different to this.
So after non stop years of arguing about him insisting on filling our home with all this stuff, whilst I've said for years that it's not to my taste, I've now put all of it in the loft. Except for one wooden statue from Indonesia that I've kept out cos our DC like it.
The arguing from my husband about it doesn't stop.
He constantly complains that our home is now souless and shows no personality whatsoever. He actually doesn't stop going on about it and says he hates the way our home looks now.
We live in a very small home, and all I keep feeling is the immense relief of not being surrounded by so much stuff, of feeling less cluttered, and of not living surrounded by things that are not to my own personal taste.
It's a never ending battle though.
We cannot agree.

That's not true. I offer as evidence my DSs bedroom that was completely renovated with everything brand new, let alone merely 'clean'. Within an hour of his return it looked like it had been burgled. Untidy refers merely to not putting things away out of sight and in their place. Nothing to do with how clean the place itself is.

I agree.

I can't stand white/grey homes.

Goodness this has put so many people on the defensive!!!😲

It could be an interesting discussion if people can stop being offended.

I think fashion plays a much bigger part in home decor now than it ever used to and I think that is down to the collaboration between shops and Instagram type sites that use influencers to literally influence people into changing decor according to fashions.

And because of that I think it's also an age thing. Younger people tend to be more minimal and older people who tend not to use those sites so much might have more eclectic tastes.

When I read your thread title, I was reminded of searching for a house to buy in a small Scottish town, having returned from living abroad for many years.

In the country where I was living, there was little pressure for space. Very few homes were built in estates of similar houses. Most were unique, even if small. I guess there would have been flats that were more modern and many similar, but it wasn’t that obvious.

I was kind of shocked by the blandness of so many of the modern homes. So many soulless estates with boring semis or tiny, square built detached houses. So many poky rooms. I ended up buying an old cottage, but I wondered when the UK housing industry became so unimaginative. I was at the bottom end of the market, which probably made it worse, but it was an odd experience.

But then, it must be what the market has driven. I’m kind of used to it again now, but that really was my first impression and that wasn’t about decor or things, it was about the houses themselves.

Or the cat! 🤣
Also, these days 90% of stuff 'picked up in flea markets' can be bought online anyway.
I agree with the needing design sense, I have none. I have some interesting paintings and stuff but no idea how to arrange them to produce the desired effect.

I love looking at homes with personality too

Don't want to live in one

Why does how other people choose to decorate their homes need discussing? It's nothing to do with anybody who doesn't live there.

Why does anything need discussing? Other people's relationships are nobody's business but their own, their food choices sre their own business. Its a discussion forum!