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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think a lot of homes are “soulless” and all people care about is size?

361 replies

Spicegirl1234 · 11/08/2024 08:22

I love homes that are full of personality, stuff picked up around the world in trips, fleamarket finds, family objects, homes that are not perfect but keep your eyes “busy” when looking and fully reflect the life of people that live within them and make you feel warm when you go in.
I very rarely come across such homes, the majority of the ones I see (in RL and online) tend to be very boring with no personality whatsoever and people mainly seem to be focussed on buying the biggest possible places with their money and then upgrading/extending etc rather than enjoying what they have and make it “theirs”.
Does anyone else feel this way about home decor?

OP posts:
Xenia · 17/08/2024 11:24

AH yes. When my parents died I got their big book case so that is in a "spare" bed room now with 2 other book cases and I thought it might be a library but given working from home these days (one lawyer son works 4 days a week from home) that is now that son's office room with his desk and it has a spare bed for all my sons' friends (my twin sons live at home) so I think the library is going to have to wait other than the book cases until everyone leaves home.

ScrubbedCauliflower · 17/08/2024 12:07

ObelixtheGaul · 17/08/2024 11:20

In my ideal world, if I had a big house, I'd want one room as a dedicated library. With one of those wheely ladders. Always wanted a library.

🥰 OMG me too, wheely ladders AND maybe also a mezzanine level with more books with spiral steps going up to that. Amazing!

PainintheProverbial · 17/08/2024 14:33

taxguru · 16/08/2024 16:14

Because it's cluttered and a lot of it is junk! I simply couldn't live in a place like that. Like those random books on the window ledge - going to constantly be in the way, collect dust, fall over, etc. Just no! And baskets of junk on the floor. Urgh!

You sound uninspired. Bet your home is plain and beige 😆

RampantIvy · 17/08/2024 18:00

PainintheProverbial · 17/08/2024 14:33

You sound uninspired. Bet your home is plain and beige 😆

No she doesn't.

What a ridiculous assertion to make. Not liking clutter doesn't mean that at all. @taxguru just doesn't like clutter.

spaceshooter · 17/08/2024 20:16

YANBU

user1471548941 · 17/08/2024 20:21

We've just had a new bathroom fitted. We have hexagonal jungle print tiles on the floor, green marble tiles up the walls and a pink herringbone feature wall. We adore it, we just picked stuff that we loved and we've had SO many compliments on it and people telling us it's the dream bathroom. It feels a real treat.

Several colleagues and friends asked for the details of the company that fitted it because it's so "wow".... every single one of them has gone for beige/white/grey.... "oh we couldn't possibly be as brave as you" huh?!

So either people hate our bathroom and are just being polite or people are too scared to be bold?!

spikeandbuffy24 · 17/08/2024 20:25

I have grey walls. Doesn't make it soulless/sterile though
I just find grey calming but there's plenty of books, stuff to look at, pick up, furniture that isn't grey, lighting etc

ScrubbedCauliflower · 18/08/2024 09:05

user1471548941 · 17/08/2024 20:21

We've just had a new bathroom fitted. We have hexagonal jungle print tiles on the floor, green marble tiles up the walls and a pink herringbone feature wall. We adore it, we just picked stuff that we loved and we've had SO many compliments on it and people telling us it's the dream bathroom. It feels a real treat.

Several colleagues and friends asked for the details of the company that fitted it because it's so "wow".... every single one of them has gone for beige/white/grey.... "oh we couldn't possibly be as brave as you" huh?!

So either people hate our bathroom and are just being polite or people are too scared to be bold?!

I’ve just googled the jungle print tiles, love love love. I bet your bathroom is stunning.

PlantsHaveTakenOverMyHome · 19/08/2024 12:39

WhiteButtonMoon · 17/08/2024 07:56

No, he can't have 1 room full of all his stuff. We don't have any spare rooms in our house, we live in a tiny little cottage.
I don't care if you think it's sad!
I spent over 10 years living surrounded by all of his collections of artefacts, wall hangings and swathes of Asian fabrics. Ornaments on every surface. Wooden carvings hanging on the walls. Fabrics thrown over the sofa and on the bed. Statues on shelves. Huge great wooden cravings on the floors. All his worldwide collections literally everywhere. All of it was bought whilst we were in those countries together. And on every single occasion that he bought those things from markets, street stalls and shops, I said "I don't really like that". I pointed out things that I did like, and he point blank refused to compromise and stuck to buying all this stuff that only he liked. Other times I said "John, you're buying so much stuff from all these countries, every country we go to you buy all these things, where on earth are we going to put them all when we get home?!?". It was a genuine question every time I asked him.
So when he did fill our home, OUR home, not HIS home, with all his stuff, it made me feel claustrophobic. I kept telling him none of it was my taste. I kept asking if we could compromise and maybe keep some bits out but perhaps put some things in storage? So that maybe I could enjoy my living environment too, by making it less cluttered and less full of things I don't like? Nope. He wouldn't entertain the idea and would start arguing and shouting at me. Saying I had no taste. Saying I wasn't cultured.
So one day, after 11 years of living like this, I boxed everything up and put it all in the loft. He went ballistic. I stuck up for myself. And that's where his stuff has stayed.
As I say, he argues at me every day about it.
He's controlling.
He's selfish.
He demonstrated for years that he didn't care about what I liked or didn't like, or about my tastes, or about how little I was enjoying living in the way our home was furnished in all his stuff.
So I did something about it.
And if that makes you sad, then so be it.

The only thing that makes me sad, is why you're still with this arsehole.

taxguru · 19/08/2024 13:32

Why would people think that a clutter free house means that they have no belongings??

We have loads of "stuff". It's all put away in cupboards, drawers, etc behind closed doors. I don't see why I should parade it and shove it under peoples' noses to "prove" I have personality. It includes all kinds of keepsakes, a music collection, lots of books, etc. But it's behind closed doors. That way I know where it is, it's kept in good condition (i.e. not fading due to sunlight etc), not gathering dust, etc.

It'd drive me insane if it was all on display on shelves, window ledges, etc. I'd be constantly dusting it all, having to keep moving it to wipe the windows and surfaces, etc. Nor do I want to be constantly tripping over stuff placed on floors etc.

"A place for everything and everything in it's place", which for me is neatly organised in drawers and cupboards and window ledges, shelves etc - minimalistic with just a few items, such as a couple of pot plants on the lounge window ledge and the odd family photo/portrait on a few walls.

Makes it so much easier to clean around and also easier knowing where things are rather than constantly wasting time looking around for stuff.

GasPanic · 19/08/2024 13:34

Some people can afford the luxury of being to choose souless over size and some can't.

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