H told me to shut my ugly mouth this morning

[greenpena]

Because I got annoyed that he was annoyed that I hadn't cleaned up the kitchen from last night's dinner, as he wanted to make breakfast and it wasn't clean.

I said he's not some sort of king. I am currently on a break from work, so I do have more time than him and I always clean up the next morning, as I'm very tired at night.

This morning I came down and had a coffee and didn't immediately clean up, as I was feeling tired and wanted to chill for a bit. He comes down after a lie in and starts cursing because the kitchen is a shit hole and apparently everything is a shit hole.

I told him it's not ok to talk like that and I'm sick of it. To which he told me to shut up and then commented on shutting my ugly mouth.

I'm beyond upset.

I'm so sorry OP. Has he spoken to you like this before?

Yes I’m not surprised, that’s very aggressive of him.

Give each other some space. Later this afternoon tell him you want to schedule a conversation about this, but in the meantime you will not be spoken to like that.

Sunday might be a good time to talk. He of course will have points to make about tidying up, and you will need to listen to that, and work out a compromise

I would be pissed off if I came and found the kitchen in a tip in the morning but is there any reason he couldn’t have tidied it last night if he knows this upsets him. It’s also horrible and abusive for him to speak to you like that.

I hope to god you don't have children.
If you don't, pack a bag and leave, if you do, see if you can visit family for a break.
You are married to a vile pig.

Why couldn’t he have tidied the kitchen the night before?

Does he usually do his fair share of housework? You might not be working at the moment but that doesn't mean you should be waiting on him hand and foot.

He could have cleaned it himself, or just made breakfast anyway - you don't need a fully clean and tidy kitchen to throw some breakfast together. The way he behaved and spoke to you is completely unacceptable.

If this is a pattern of behaviour you need to consider your options. If it's a one-off you need to be crystal clear that you won't accept a repeat.

He never cleans up the kitchen after dinner or anytime really. I always do it, even when I was working and he always complains it's a hole if it's not done to his standards.

If you want a tidy kitchen in the morning, do it your fucking self.

Yes we have two kids under 5.

What a charmer.
That's a totally over the top and excessively rude thing for him to say. Is this the only time he's behaved like a prick? I'd bet money on it not being...

Well it sounds like a conversation is long overdue.

There's a solution... Let him have his own kitchen, own flat, own life and divorce the vile fucker.

I’m inclined to agree with your last thought OP - if he’s so bothered about it, do it himself!
Alternatively, he can tidy his own kitchen in another house from yours!

I'd calmly tell him that you simply will not tolerate abusive language like that and if it happens again you'll be filing for divorce.

So a lazy abusive pig.
Have you family to support you?
If not, consider calling Women's aid for a chat.
I doubt this is in isolation.

What a dreadful shit.
Sorry OP, he just sounds so fucking miserable and nasty.
We always load up the dishwasher at night after dinner but things to wash up (just the chopping boards and knives) wait in the sink overnight sometimes and one of us will get to it in the morning while doing ds breakfast.
No big deal.
I hate things being out of place but a chopping board and a couple of knives doesn’t bother me overnight.
Has he been like this before? Or has this come out of the blue?

Why is he not cleaning up the kitchen EVER?

What DOES he do around the house?? IF cleaning kitchen after meals is 'your job' and he does his fair share of cleaning in other ways I can see it would be annoying you hadn't done it, but STILL NO EXCUSE to speak to you like that NONE.

& I seriously expect he does fuck all of anything else either!!

I wouldn't stay with him!!

So obviously this isn't really about the kitchen, it's about him believing he can speak to you like that with impunity. What's the situation OP - surely, as other posters have said, there's more back story?

Where do people find these disgusting pigs to marry?
48 years married and we’ve never spoken to each other like this.
Dont accept this op. It’s not normal.

In our house, one cooks , the other cleans up. I would not stand for being spoken to like that. Any apologies?

The simple solution would have been for him to clean up the kitchen, but he isn't interested in having a clean kitchen. He's using it as a stick to beat you with, and if it wasn't the kitchen it would be something else.
This isn't OK.

This.
Sorry.

Kick the fucker out!

Gosh if my other half spoke to me like that I would end the marriage ...how disrespectful all over an untidy kitchen..if he's that bothered then he needs to clean it himself or is he one of those men that think women belong in the kitchen 🙄 your husband needs to have a word with himself

This is abuse

Well said @Fannyfiggs

You should have told him what you have just written which is to do it his ‘ fucking self’
If he has high standards, he should clean the kitchen to ensure that his standards are met