H told me to shut my ugly mouth this morning

[greenpena]

Because I got annoyed that he was annoyed that I hadn't cleaned up the kitchen from last night's dinner, as he wanted to make breakfast and it wasn't clean.

I said he's not some sort of king. I am currently on a break from work, so I do have more time than him and I always clean up the next morning, as I'm very tired at night.

This morning I came down and had a coffee and didn't immediately clean up, as I was feeling tired and wanted to chill for a bit. He comes down after a lie in and starts cursing because the kitchen is a shit hole and apparently everything is a shit hole.

I told him it's not ok to talk like that and I'm sick of it. To which he told me to shut up and then commented on shutting my ugly mouth.

I'm beyond upset.

This is awful!

So, you would clean it, yes? Why can’t he?

The first thing to do OP is to get back to work. Then you're in a position to think about what you want yours and the children's futures to look like. No one should live the way you are, he's no good.

Why are you with him? It sounds as though you don't even like him.

Because he's the man he's the head of the household and he doesn't want to demean himself by doing menial women's work!
To do so would be humiliating and that would make him feel angry and then he'd have to punish her some more for humiliating him.
(In other words he's a knuckle dragging idiot)

You see this abusive pig clearly OP.
You and your children deserve better.

Don't have them grow up in such toxicity listening to their vile father abuse their mother.

Reach out for support from Women's aid, family, friends.

It's not ok for him to speak to you like this. You deserve better.

If there are other things about the relationship that are good, if you still love him, then try to sit him down and talk to him about expectations around the house, and around how you speak to each other.

If not, then it is time to start looking for an exit strategy. And women on here will be able to support you all the way with that
Xxx

I would have shown him my 'ugly mouth' at that point (but not in front of the kids).
What an arrogant arse!!

He could have cleared the kitchen. Who cooked? Anyway, it's a team and decent men wouldn't make a point by leaving it and certainly not be so verbally aggressive. I'd have warning bells that it could get worse and/or physical if someone said that to me.
Did he apologize? (Not that it makes it much better).

I cooked. I always cook

You cook. You clean. You take the brunt of his moods, tantrums and verbal abuse.

Something's seriously off here, OP.

Is there any reason why he can’t clean it up himself?

Can you clarify op. You say you made dinner and didn’t clean up, but then you say that the dishwasher just needed emptying this morning and he stayed up and used a few plates which were on the side. That sounds like you did indeed clean up. In which case, he’s an absolute pig if he thinks otherwise and all there was to do was to put away clean dishes and wash his own plates.

I haven't misunderstood it at all. You said nobody actively chooses a disgusting pig for a husband. I beg to differ.

I know several women who dated guys who were, in the main, nice but who definitely had moments where they were confrontational, stubborn and showed very little respect for their partner in the way they spoke to them.

These couples would go on to get married and - surprise surprise - the marriage would soon hit the skids because the woman was 'fed up with being spoken to like shit'... By a man who had ALWAYS spoken to her like shit!

So, you see, I do think some people do choose 'disgusting pigs'.

I'm so sorry OP. I doubt this is an isolated incident. I'm giving you a handhold as I know what this is like.

Mine has been away for 5 days on a jolly. I got called a c*nt today for not being over the moon that he is back as he hasn't lifted a finger and has been criticizing things around the house I haven't done.

It's hard when you have kids but you don't deserve to be spoken to like this or live like this x

He's a selfish cunt who thinks you're there to skivvy for him.

Why on earth are you staying in this hideous relationship, there is always a way out, have you no family, friends? Why are you living like this???

I really don’t understand some of the replies here. How is he not embarrassed that he expects someone else to clear up every single day. Who made him king!? Twat

i see no issue with having a coffee and a bit of a wake up before tackling the kitchen.

He sounds like a right charmer.

I don't have any family or friends who can help, no. Some of us don't.

Have you tried woman’s aid?

Stop cooking for him op, stop washing his clothes, look after yourself and the children.

Why are you with him?

Going against the grain (again) here, OP, but I'd say this update definitely provides a window into your relationship.

If this is how you talk about your H on social media, then God knows what your arguments in real life are like. Do you even like each other?

All this 'I do this' and 'he does that' and referring to him as 'the king'. It's all a bit petty, no?

Not condoning how he spoke to you for a second. But it doesn't sound much like either of you really knows how to communicate.

Time for a long overdue chat I think - and not about dishes!

My partner was verbally abusive to me. It started when DC was born, and then continued every month or so when he would spew vile rubbish. He hardly lifted a finger when it came to housework but typically had unrealistic standards about the way I tidied/ cooked/ cleaned etc. He wanted it done his way.

I am pleased to say I left him (because of how he spoke to me in front of DC) and now he can wash his own stinking dishes!