If your Dh/Dp goes away

[Dicapriososcar]

How often do they contact you?

If they go away for a few days to a week or so, how often do they text/call? Especially if you have dcs?

Why has he gone to family alone? Why didn't he take his daughter as it's the holidays?

Dh sometimes works away Friday to Sunday. Sometimes he will phone in the evenings and sometimes he won't but it's quite full on and he is self employed so he normally prioritizes getting the job done asap so he can come home.

Not during the day because he's working, usually a quick call in the evening to speak to our daughter.
I’m older and I'm trying to remember what we did before mobiles, quick call from hotel room phone i suppose !

If he is visiting family in North Africa then not much for the first couple of days whilst he sorts out local data for his phone. Also he has a large family so can get caught up in multiple family visits. Then a call or message most days.

At least one FaceTime a day, multiple texts

When the children were small usually every day depending on the time zone.

Usually once a day, a call or message. Usually just to me though as it's late so dc in bed. Sometimes if he's busy he'll skip a day. Dh goes away maube 4 /5 times a year for either work or hobby, for 2-4 days usually.

DH goes away for months at a time. We usually text throughout the day, depending on the time zone, not nonstop obviously as usually one of us is working but conversing throughout the day via text with gaps between the messages. We only tend to talk on the phone about once a week, we've always been quite heavy texters tbh.

Still not texted!

What happened when you got in touch with him ?

Same here.
I could have written this post.

I get we are all different, so understand those who want to message each day, but, several times a day ?? Don't any of you need to focus on your work ?

Just a text to say we got there okay and a text when landing on the way home.
Our kids are older now but we’ve pretty much always been of the opinion that whoever is at home picks up the mental load when the other person is away, regardless of if they person is away for work or pleasure.
Obviously if there was a problem there would be more communication but I’d not expect nor would I have sent messages moaning about the kids being difficult or not having a good night sleep. The person at home would be expected to just get on with it. The person who is away has no control over any of that and can’t help, it’s something you can catch up on when you get home.
We have both been pretty consistent with time away from the family since they’ve been small though, regular breaks away with friends or to see family etc, and I go away a bit with work. It’s just our normal and our methods work well for us.

Have things been okay between you recently? He's not in a huff?

Agree.

If I'm away, it really doesn't help for dh to tell me dc has been sick, or whatever. You feel helpless.
Same when he is away.

It would depend on who my DP is at the time 😂

At least couple of times a day but often more.

I think that your DH should check in daily even if it’s just a quick text. Our families are very scattered so we often have to see them separately or we’d use up all our leave on visits.

My DH is seeing his parents and siblings for a long weekend soon (sibling who lives on another continent is visiting) and I doubt I’ll get more than a text or two while he’s away.

It’s easy to get caught up with family activities and chatter. I expect he’ll be in touch tomorrow full of apologies. 💐

Mine used to be away before I had a mobile phone and he would ring each evening.

Once we both had mobile phones he would sometimes text about random stuff during the day and ring to speak to the kids before bed.

Have you asked how his trip is?

We would usually WhatsApp maybe a couple of times a day or I'd send photos/videos of the kids if they were doing something interesting and he would send me any interesting updates from his trip. We never call though or properly catch up. We can do that when he's home.

I'd never be annoyed that he hasn't messaged me, unless maybe I'd sent lots of messages that he hadn't replied to.

When did you last message him? I feel like there might be a backstory to this if he's gone away with family and you are annoyed that he hasn't messaged you.

I would just text or give him a call.

We usually text or call before leaving, on arrival, and then a video call once per day to see the kids and have a little chat. Usually, spend max 15 mins.

Always sending each other little videos or pictures of the kids in one of us is away or at home with them, and the other isn't. Helps us feel closer as a family unit.

Not much, on arrival, and maybe again when I landed at airport in home country, it's not a break if you are messaging all the time.

We normally FaceTime in the morning and evenings, text when we can in the day or he will send video messages that I can show our child in case they are in bed when he calls in the evening. We are a bit lovey dovey so probably overkill for most!

It's I who goes away, and I text on arrival and perhaps once a day tops.

Depends when he finishes for the day. He tends to only now demo products on the stand at trade shows. Generally he is available at some point once he gets back to the hotel to change before heading back out for dinner. I don't tend to text him throughout the day unless it's an urgent question on something I can't work out at home or I'm having an issue collecting his medication for example. The kids (3&5) like to send him selfies off my phone or video messages in the evening if we don't get chance to speak with him before bedtime. We also have to account for time differences, may only be Europe but sometimes the timing just doesn't work with kids bedtime.

He used to work the other side of the world doing 14-16 hour days pre kids. Would often go days without hearing from him. However he was there to work and deliver a project in full. I didn't need to hear from him every day so it's kind of ingrained to let him get on with it.

he usually blocks me and the DC so we do not disturb his holidays/trips (he will be exH soon though).