If your Dh/Dp goes away

[Dicapriososcar]

How often do they contact you?

If they go away for a few days to a week or so, how often do they text/call? Especially if you have dcs?

Not much but always checked in when kids where younger, now we just check in with the kids. I'm not one for constant contact though.

Text and phone calls but no need for video call except for longer trips

I didn’t text, busy all day with Dd (handful at the moment) now it’s a bit late..just know if I was away( never am!) there’s no way I wouldn’t text to see how Dd was every day

Depends where/how long/working schedule. Generally every two-three days, sometimes not for 10 days.

I think you should just contact him if you want to speak to him.

We both go away with work. Probably every other day on the phone and a few times a day texts.

DH was away with the army and called most days unless on exercise. Went to war (2003) and didnt hear for 3 months. Didn’t even know if he was dead as no one told us wives how it all worked.
When we eventually had communication it was by letter only which took weeks

Text throughout the day as normal. If away for more than say, 2 nights, probably the odd phone call here and there.

My DH works abroad for weeks at a time and we never contact each other.
When we first married, the only phones were landlines and the internet hadn't been invented, so unless he phoned home from a payphone then he never called, as it was expensive too.
Then the internet and mobiles came along and we still don't bother contacting each other out of habit I suppose.
Still, we have plenty to talk about when he comes home for a fortnight.

I used to love blueys landing on the doormat, frustrating if you opened them wrong though.

More than I do when I go away with my friends. We've been married a long time. A few days away for either of us is nothing really. Probably a cursory text each day. More if he's bored; more if I'm eating food I know he'd like.

Has he gone away to family without you before?

It works both ways. You can’t say your worried he hasn’t messaged but then say you haven’t messaged him.

@LiterallyOnFire Years ago, before Dd we’d sometimes nip back to stay with our families separately

@DaisyChain505 Well, yes, but our Dd is here with me

DH is away quite a bit with work. At one point he was away four nights a week when we had small DC. That was tough for all of us. Anyway, he usually would call me every evening. If he can't for some reason there'll be a quick WhatsApp message. Married over 30 years, if that's of any relevance.

I would expect daily at least. DH calls a few times a day if away with work, or text. Depending on time difference. Even if its just a literal goodnight or something. I know this would be too much for some. Everyone is different.

I think it’s quite normal not to speak or text for a day. When DH or I go away we can go days without calling or texting.

I used to work away in the early days of mobile phones and we didn't chat much, too expensive but I'd touch base.
Then DH worked away, he didn't talk much or the signal would be poor in London, so he wouldn't bother. This was when the kids were small, it was very lonely.
Then not much contact via WhatsApp or texts.
Then I worked away, copied his communication strategy and he got very pissed off!

We did better in the letter writing & landline times.

This for us too. Dh goes away regularly for work. Morning is literally 2 or 3 minutes, his choice he likes to say good morning. After work is usually a bit of a whinge we work for the same company different roles obviously then once he’s had dinner maybe a couple of pints if he’s away with another colleague then a chat before bed about more general stuff.

Daily would be the norm for us, even without children. DH will usually contact me a couple of times a day or more to catch up on how our days are going. If I know he's busy, I don't expect as much contact, but we'd always touch base at least once a day.

Different couples have different routines, of course, but if my husband didn't contact me while he was away, I'd assume he physically couldn't for some reason (and I'd start to worry).

We don't necessarily bother.
He might join in if there was a bit of banter going on in the family whatsapp or he might send a photo if there was something particularly noteable.

When our dc were little though, it was before we had mobiles with internet, so i was much more difficult to get in touch. We very much work on everything being alright until we hear otherwise.
When dh is away, sometimes he has no signal, and he might be without electricity for a few days so couldn't charge a phone either. Other times, he is busy.

But I don't understand why you think it odd that he hasn't contacted you, when you haven't contacted him either ?

DH works abroad, often for weeks at a time. We try and call/text every day but equally appreciate that each of us are busy and this isn’t always possible, especially when in different time zones

Are you concerned that him going alone now is a bad sign?

Did you not have a chat before he went about plans to stay in touch?

It's difficult if he doesn't routinely go away because you've no normal procedure to compare this to.

Message throughout the day and video call a few times a day for varying lengths of time depending on what we are doing

Twice a day text to check in on DC, standard for both of us. Not long widned, usually just something like "All ok" and thumbs up, the occasional photo of DC.