To feel ignored and disrespected.

[BeAzureNewt]

Been dating this guy and been on 4 dates ,Last date we had sex and we have been texting everyday since then.
It's been 2 days now his behaviour is off.

He texted 2 days ago saying good morning etc and I replied an hour later then I heard nothing all day.

I tried to call him yesterday morning and he didn't pick up but 20 mins later he texts me again saying good morning and asking about my day but not mentioning the call as in sorry i cant speak on the phone.

I replied 10 mins later and again I haven't heard from him ,it'd been 24 hrs.
We have been on 4 dates but he has said a lot of things to me about not dating other ppl and wanting a relationship.
He was also travelling either on Wednesday or Thursday.

I feel so ignored and disrespected that I am about to text him that whatever this was we are done

It feels like the moment I reply he gets reassurance that I am not mad or anything and ignores again.

I dont mind not speaking to him but him not being considerate enough to send a text saying that he will be very busy in the upcoming days and might not be able to talk to me is what is upsetting me.
Why he initiates convo himself but then nothing ?
Am I overreacting?

Stop texting and have an actual conversation!

Tried to call him but he didn't pick up ,he just texted.
The only way I am texting him again is to tell him we are done.

He’s got what he wanted and now he isn’t bothering. He has whispered sweet nothings in your ear to get in your pants. Men will do this. Cut your losses and move on. He’s ghosting you. The chase is over for him with you, so he will likely move on to the next one. I know that’s hard to take and sounds harsh but it’s the reality of a lot of men in afraid. Don’t sleep with the next guy until he’s earned it. This guy took you on 4 dates, got what he wanted and now he’s easing out the door but also doing just enough to keep you on the hook so he can come back for another go if he fancies it. Block him and move on. He’s full of it and you deserve to be treated with more respect. If a guy is really into building a relationship with a woman, he would walk over hot coals to spend time with her and always keep her informed of what’s happened, not ignoring calls and texts. Even if he is busy, if he was into having a relationship with you, he would take 2 seconds to reply and say he was really busy but when can you meet up again for another date/when are you free for a call, etc. Sorry that he’s done this to you. As long as you learn from it, it’s a good thing really. Make them work for it.

Being very cynical, 3 dates isn't much of an investment by him to get sex, perhaps he feels he doesn't need to put in the effort now.

The making him make the effort isn't a thing!!! Guys either like you or they don't.

He's not into you OP, I'm sorry.

I think kindly, you should try and relax a little. It can be overwhelming when things get rushed, and it looks like that's what's happened. Emotions suddenly get more intense. I would take a few days to cool down and not text something on impulse you might regret. I think there's a good chance your relationship could evolve to a more stable place than this by next weekend

@cupcaske123
Why does he texts first almost all the time ?
Where he is going cellular data is not good in a non European country.

He's not into you

I suppose he texts to keep you present while he lives his life otherwise. He's cooled off and I think that's about all you need to know. Leave the ball in his court, be prepared to quietly write him off. Get on with your life too. x

@pictoosh
This behaviour started all of a sudden the day he was going overseas.

What are you actually worried about? Because the more you post, the more it is starting to sound as though you suspect he is seeing someone else. Which is a whole different issue from feeling "disrespected".
You sound very intense which is, unfortunately a tempting situation to find oneself in after the first sex experience with a new partner. Your hormones are raging and you want the text equivalent of "post-coital cuddle" whereas the man predictably "rolled over and went to sleep". As a result of this mismatch of expectations, you are now building increasingly far-fetched scenarios in your head based on nothing but a missed phone call. Do you see how silly it is?
He is overseas for work, right? Travelling for work usually involves a different routine, work meetings squashed together, dinners with partners, networking, then falling down in a hotel room at 2am just to do it all over again at 7am the following day. Plus jet lag, plus poor reception in non-European country you mentioned above.
Yes, maybe he is not into you. Or maybe he is too busy to call. Maybe he was in the shower when you rang... or sitting on a toilet. He didn't mention the phone call? Well, ask him. My partner is currently abroad and he dropped the call when I rang, then texted me 10 min later saying he will call in the morning. Turned out he was in a busy place and didn't think he would be able to hear me so where I would pick up to say "hey, it's noisy here. I'll call you back later" he just thought it would be faster to disconnect the call and text.

@Catza
I reply quite soon after he texts then silence ,he is abroad for holidays visiting family and my issue is not him not texting me is him not being respectful enough to tell me that in this upcoming days he will be busy with no cellular service and he will check in if he can.
In the time it took him to send me second text asking about my day he could have also written that.
It's like he wants to check if I will reply or be angry at him ?

Again, you are reading his mind and making assumptions. You have no way of knowing that this is his intention.
You also judge his actions compared to what you yourself would do in a similar situation. Just like I would pick up a call to say it is noisy, I'll call you back and my partner didn't even consider that this is an option. Do I feel disrespected? Momentarily, I won't lie. Then I remember that he is not me and I can't judge his actions by "what would Catza do" standard.
So yes, maybe he is rethinking your relationship. Or maybe he isn't. Why don't you wait for him to come back and then sit down to have a proper conversation about it.

Well yeah maybe he is checking in with you in that way. I think that was a very insightful perspective by @Catza and I would go further to say is it possible he feels awkward while you are more concerned with seeking reassurance ? I think it could be natural in the circumstances of you not knowing each other very long and progressing your relationship quickly.

@johann12
I didn't say anything I just replied quite casually asking how was his flight etc.

@Catza
In the beginning of talking stage before meeting ,whenever he would reply say 2 hours late he would apologise and even call so I base this assumptions on his past behaviour.

I'm confused, he told you he was travelling. Did he not? How can he be completely attentive to you on the days he has told you he was travelling?

@CarlieF
He told me he was going away a week before but when he texted back second time he could have said travelling today I won't be able to talk or the night before as we were talking he could have said smth.
But I am an anxious attachment style so hence I am here getting second opinions I might be overreacting.

OP, if this man was keen, serious, respectful, honest, single, he would have waited until he returned from ‘seeing his family in another country’ before being intimate with you,
rather than a poke and go,

now leave him alone, you seem desperate, nothing makes a man run away faster once he has fully exploited you of course

Yeah I've had this a few times, they're bored and are into the next thing, they'll keep you around for a bit as a back up but they'll soon drop you. Sorry to put it bluntly but I wish I understood this when it was happening to me, he would always make excuses and I would for him and believe him

as has been pointed out here - what has happened in between early conversations and today ? I despair sometimes, honestly, get real woman

@tetheredgoat
He has met me and therefore has me now so he puts less effort hoping I will put up with it

You've only been on a few dates and he is now abroad visiting family. Can't you just say "have a great time, see you when you get back?". If you make contacting you feel like an obligation he will likely lose interest pretty quickly. You are not in a relationship, he's not that invested, nor should you be at this early stage (regardless of sex).

Some people don't text very often. That's how it is.