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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is unprofessional for a man to go to work with unshaven stubble?

136 replies

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:00

I think it is still considered unprofessional for a man to go into a work office with unshaven stubble. I’m not taking about close cut beards, or moustaches or groomed facial hair. I am talking 2-3day old stubble. I am also not talking about WFH, but going into an office environment where he will meet with colleaugues and clients.

YABU- I’m old fashioned and it is perfectly ok for a man to have wild, free range stubble these days in an office setting.

YANBU- It is not ok to have stubble in the office.

OP posts:
benid · 09/08/2024 13:32

CroutonSpoon · 09/08/2024 09:52

I may have missed this on a message above (sorry if that’s the case) but I just don’t know why you would hire someone you know is 60, obese, and scruffy, and then, after 6 months, conclude he’s too old / fat / scruffy.

Edited

Fair point!

Original poster
LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 13:35

BetteLaSwet · 09/08/2024 09:45

You’re not BU at all. I think those who say you are, are looking at working environments through should-be-like-this specs, rather than real world specs.

The sad truth is, a disheveled, let’s be honest slobby looking, man approaching his 60s absolutely IS going to be judged by many of his colleagues including management. Scruffy and unkempt is never a good look, unless you work for a trendy software company where people slop around in flip flops and play ping pong in “break out” rooms (doubt even these still exist).

I’m retired now but had a long career in senior management and sadly people do judge. Not saying it’s right, but they do. We all know that as we age it gets harder, and we do have to try harder. It’s gutting with our experience but it’s true. We are in danger of becoming the smelly cat in the corner as it is, let alone looking like it.

Sure others will jump in here and scream well who wants to work there anyway?! Maybe when they are nearly 60 they will appreciate the challenges more, especially with a developing chequered recent work history.

All this aside - his behaviour to you is awful. You must be sorely tempted to let him navigate the world solo at this point.

Show quote history

Yes. This is exactly what I was thinking and my concern for him. God knows he doesn’t need another rejection. I am getting tempted to just stay silent and hands off.

OP posts:
Original poster
LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 13:53

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

That is the larger question and I am struggling with it. I do think about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 13:59

BunnyLake · 09/08/2024 12:44

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to not like your husband’s scruffy unkempt appearance, which may be impacting his ability to keep a job.

OP you should have made it clear in your first post that it was your husband and you weren’t just some judgemental, interfering work colleague.

Show quote history

I should have. I think I was trying to keep it less identifiable. He knows I come on here.

OP posts:
NewYearNewJob2024 · 09/08/2024 14:17

It sounds like it has more to do with his people skills rather than his stubble!!

tooeasy · 09/08/2024 15:43

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

tooeasy · 09/08/2024 15:44

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

brunettemic · 09/08/2024 16:12

LoremIpsumCici · 09/08/2024 09:07

No.

Show quote history

What if the woman was obese, pushing 60 and it made her look dishevelled?

MooseBreath · 09/08/2024 16:16

A friend of mine can essentially grow a beard in a day. 5 o'clock shadow happens by 10am. Should he bring a razor to work?

CarolConcert · 09/08/2024 16:29

It sounds like he has a stinking attitude. He called you a bitch and threw a box at you. I doubt some of this isn't seeping out at work. Don't put up with that OP.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 09/08/2024 17:16

Ponoka7 · 09/08/2024 10:14

What the hell are you on about? This is her husband, who is struggling to hold a job, it's quite usual to care about what your spouse thinks.

Show quote history

What I'm on about is answering her original post as cannot be arsed to read through all the replies -this is essentially why it's a good idea to be clear in an OP and not drip feed later...

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