To think it is unprofessional for a man to go to work with unshaven stubble?

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I think it is still considered unprofessional for a man to go into a work office with unshaven stubble. I’m not taking about close cut beards, or moustaches or groomed facial hair. I am talking 2-3day old stubble. I am also not talking about WFH, but going into an office environment where he will meet with colleaugues and clients.

YABU- I’m old fashioned and it is perfectly ok for a man to have wild, free range stubble these days in an office setting.

YANBU- It is not ok to have stubble in the office.

You don’t fail probation for how you look, you fail because you arent performing in the role. Sorry op, but I think there’s more he’s not telling you..

I mean it depends on the job, I'm an employer and I don't care what anyone looks like (assuming it wasn't clothing designed to be offensive or a mankini or something). I care that they're turning up reliably and on time and that they're pulling their weight with the team.

If it's a customer facing role that relies on sales, that's a bit different because it would be costing me money.

It sounds like he's just not found a job he likes enough to be good at.

how old are you both?

this issue aside happy supportive loving marriage?

The trouble is not the stubble.

Honestly who cares?

I'd suspect it's his 'I don't give a shit' attitude rather than a bit of stubble. If appearances were that important then I assume they wouldn't have hired him in the first place.

Is this a case of you don't appreciate his appearance and you're projecting that onto his job in the hope he'll improve it to try to keep a job (and so make you happier)?

Over 50

Well hopefully the failed probation was just a blip and number 3 will work out, but it must have hurt to be made redundant and then loose job number 2 and he could need some support and even be depressed as mentioned above

by how much?

"Professional" is a very overused word. What profession are we talking about? If he is part of a profession which requires a registration with a professional body, then there will be a code of conduct he needs to follow in order to be "professional". In a garden variety office job, there will be a dress code policy.
Otherwise, throwing a term "professional" is meaningless. I don't expect my plumber to turn up in a suit, for example.

Are you going to pay for her razor blades like he pays for your tampons

Marriage is not at its best. He called me a bitch and threw a box at me for suggesting he shave this morning.

ah, and there we have it

OP… that should have been your thread today

not a daft thread about stubble

I have came across millions of men over the years and never once seen one who looks bad with a day or two stubble

Except my dad

My dad looks like he lives in a hedge if he's unshaven. He once went on a shave strike, and my mother had to threaten to behead his darling flowers until he shaved that lasted two days

Honestly, it's unbelievable how dreadful he looks. Professional job, impeccable hygiene, well cut and tailored clothes - but if he misses the razor for one morning he is Ian Beale going through his episode

I have been trying to support him. It’s hard though with the way he reacts.

My dad looks like he lives in a hedge if he's unshaven. He once went on a shave strike, and my mother had to threaten to behead his darling flowers until he shaved that lasted two days“

Seriously, I’d go nuts if someone did something like that to me.

If he was performing anywhere near expectations at work, his appearance wouldn't be an issue.

Maybe his 'not fitting in with the team' is shouting, swearing and throwing things when his managers try to manage him at work?

Sigh, you are right. I just felt like I was being wholly unreasonable and doubted about the whole idea of looking professional still being a thing to consider when starting a new job.

Ah, and this probably gives us a lot more information about why he may be failing his probations and the mysterious "is not a good fit for the team".

My DH is like that. His facial hair is patchy, it grows at different rates and there isn’t enough for a beard if he tried to grow one.

Why does it matter 😂

I disagree. Some men like the stubble look. Nome of your business what they do with their facial hair.

If he is clean (personal hygiene) and suitably dressed fur the workplace he is in, there is no way his appearance should affect his probation.
If he is scruffy or unkempt, it might, but that should be addressed as part of his supervision long before he is let go.

No, he manages to treat everyone else better than me. He saves it up.