…To Ghost Employer

[ThePlumVan]

..not resign, not communicate that I have a new job, literally just block and move on with my life ?

Been in current job 8 years.
Had the most horrendous Line Manager for 6 of those. I work across a matrix structure so am answerable to several Department Managers - but LM is the one who has refused to sign off legitimate expenses with receipts so I no longer submit them, has refused all training/CPD opportunities in that time, micromanages things she knows nothing about, contradicts me, produces meeting minutes that are misleading/inaccurate, requests very shading business practices be carried out and when I refuse has tantrums and tries to do it herself but again she isn’t qualified so can’t do it, won’t sign off annual leave until the week before so it’s too late to book holiday and then says they might have to be cancelled anyway depending on business need so I can never look forward to anything, books evening meetings when I have caring responsibilities, books daytime meetings onsite with no notice when I am working miles away, demands me to drop everything with the other departments when she has something that can wait and they don’t, so I end up working evenings to meet the other deadlines. If I miss a call from her will continually phone me until I pick up even if I’m in meetings, I could go on and on - but basically it’s been awful and has affected my mental health horrendously.

I don’t want to work my notice. I don’t want to see or speak or think of her ever again.
I feel bad for the other Depts, but not enough to go back (currently on annual leave).

YABU - just be professional and work your notice.
YANBU - your life has been hell for long enough, just block them and crack on with your lovely new job.

That simply isn't true. Tribunals look at the evidence submitted by both parties and at legal precedence. Many people are constructively dismissed or 'managed out' and submit tribunal claims that are accepted by the courts.

What usually happens is that ACAS work with both parties prior to a formal claim being submitted and a settlement is reached. If a claim does go ahead sometimes the employer is advised by legal counsel to settle before the final hearing depending on the evidence submitted. If a claimant accepts a settlement (which they often do as they are litigants in person, which can be incredibly stressful) the claim is then withdrawn, so it may seem like there are not many constructive dismissal claims on record.

6 years is a long time to leave just like that, you may need a reference for your CV or new employer?! I'd personally suck it up, hand my resignation in and work the notice period.

I agree with PP, formally resign and either work your notice or go on the sick for your notice period. Do it properly to make sure you get paid.

Hand in your notice and ask for a leaving interview with someone higher up than her. If she/they refuse then you can walk out with your head held high as you will have given them the opportunity to be reasonable.

Just seen you dont want stress related leave. I would suck it up then and work the notice by just do the bare minimum to get by

It’s hard, I know, but you should work your notice and remind yourself you never have to see her again!

Absolutely don't ghost. Your job sounds terrible, but that's a terrible idea.
What's in it for you? There's nothing positive that can come out, but many negatives

1. You'll be fired because of a breach of contract - what if you need a reference in the future?
2. the world is small, the word might get to your new job, or you might work with someone from the company again!
3. They'll be chasing you, and you'll be anxious in case you bump into someone at the street, etc, etc?

Just send a letter of resignation. If you don't want to work anymore, tell about this to your GP and ask for sick leave letter. Other than that, max out all of your leaves and/or slack as much as you can.
You can put down another formal complaint for your manager, if it makes you feel better.
Ghosting will only make you seem bad.

i would just put notice in and then go off sick with a bad sickness that just wont go away.

I did that with last employer, had a very long flu

Hand in your notice now while you are on annual leave. Email HR today. You've put up with it for 6 years so a few more weeks will be no different but you'll have the upper hand. You probably have so much knowledge around your role that your employer will want you to pass on. Now is the time to also tell them your reasons for resigning and you can be totally honest. Leave with your head held high knowing you are moving on to better times.

OP, your line manager cannot refuse to authorise expenses that have been accrued legitimately. Get your copies of receipts together, put them in and do not accept anything other than payment. If they don't get paid or she refuses, put in a grievance.

First graduate job (nightmare start-up). Colleague ghosted them. They were furious. It was hilarious. Even called his mum (he didn't live with her) who was excellent (acted like she didn't know that he'd even worked for them - "no pet, he wouldn't work for X as they are a terrible employer" and bigged up his new job without revealing who it was with). We all got questioned by HR. I was in trouble as I'd gone to his "birthday drinks" but genuinely didn't know he was leaving. I remember having to bite my cheeks and avoid looking at anyone in the eye to stop myself laughing.

I come across him from time to time (stayed in same industry) hasn't done him any harm.

It bothered them more than the rage quitters who gave them some home truths on the way out of the door and those who handed in notice and went off sick. Only other quitter who came close was the one who appeared to be cooperating and putting together handover documents etc. Did handover with director and then randomly deleted parts of it and hid documents.

Go to the GP and get signed off for your notice period and send an email, stating in simple terms that you are off sick due to stress caused by workplace bullying and harassment, that you do not wish to be contacted by them as this will lengthen your recovery period, and you are resigning your position and they should take this as your formal notice.

You can’t just walk away, you have to at least hand your notice in so they know to stop paying you.

What you do when have an agreed leave date is a different matter though. You can just stop interacting with the manager as what are they going to do? You can go off sick with stress. You can put in a formal complaint. You can just do nothing.

As an absolute minimum though you do have to resign from the company.

You have to resign properly irrespective of your relationship with the LM, otherwise this may come up as absconding in your future background checks.
I had this come up for someone we were looking to hire with similar backstory and we couldn't get past it due to our hiring policy.
Do not shoot yourself in the foot

Never burn your boats. You might have a new job lined up but you have the rest of your career in front of you. You never know when someone from this company will pop up elsewhere or who knows who in any professional situation. You never know when it will come back to bite you. Always try to leave on good terms.

Gather all evidence of the grievance and recommendations from the outcome, including where these have not been met, and all the crap your manager is putting you through.

Resign formally and state within your resignation that the workplace has become so difficult due to management that you feel you have no other option but to resign / feel forced to make this decision etc.

Any good HR professional would see this as an instant red flag and that you're possibly going to put in a claim for constructive dismissal. They hopefully should offer to speak to you/conduct an exit interview, possibly even offer a settlement at some point!

Worst case HR don't bother and you have the makings of a claim, and you still get to leave! Worst case it remains the same as it has for the length of your notice, but you'll have mentally checked out by then and can go through the motions and do the bare minimum for it.

Good luck :)

Definitely take the evidence to a solicitor re constructive dismissal. I’ve heard people win cases on less!