…To Ghost Employer

[ThePlumVan]

..not resign, not communicate that I have a new job, literally just block and move on with my life ?

Been in current job 8 years.
Had the most horrendous Line Manager for 6 of those. I work across a matrix structure so am answerable to several Department Managers - but LM is the one who has refused to sign off legitimate expenses with receipts so I no longer submit them, has refused all training/CPD opportunities in that time, micromanages things she knows nothing about, contradicts me, produces meeting minutes that are misleading/inaccurate, requests very shading business practices be carried out and when I refuse has tantrums and tries to do it herself but again she isn’t qualified so can’t do it, won’t sign off annual leave until the week before so it’s too late to book holiday and then says they might have to be cancelled anyway depending on business need so I can never look forward to anything, books evening meetings when I have caring responsibilities, books daytime meetings onsite with no notice when I am working miles away, demands me to drop everything with the other departments when she has something that can wait and they don’t, so I end up working evenings to meet the other deadlines. If I miss a call from her will continually phone me until I pick up even if I’m in meetings, I could go on and on - but basically it’s been awful and has affected my mental health horrendously.

I don’t want to work my notice. I don’t want to see or speak or think of her ever again.
I feel bad for the other Depts, but not enough to go back (currently on annual leave).

YABU - just be professional and work your notice.
YANBU - your life has been hell for long enough, just block them and crack on with your lovely new job.

So much good advice - thank you all for your replies xx

My involvement with HR related to a formal grievance I had upheld recently- behaviour from LM has significantly worsened since then and there has been no action from Management over it. HR are not there for me.

I can’t have ‘stress’ on my medical records for unrelated reasons, so am reluctant to have any sick notes stating that. Otherwise putting in notice & going off with WRS would be my first choice.

So, of course generally it is better to be professional, etc etc. But I once worked somewhere that someone just did not come back to work one day and never came back again, and secretly thought it was kind of bad ass. Its a massive FU to the company, and lets face it, some of them need it.

Resugn with immediate effect due to the behaviour listed show proof walk away

It sounds like submitting a grievance to HR may well be pointless then. In that case submit your resignation and give no notice. If you have another job to go to and don't need anything from them then walk away..try and time it to resign a day after pay day so they can't withhold salary from you, try and make sure you have taken all annual leave you have accrued up until your last day then email your resignation with immediate effect. Alternatively resign but only offer a token notice period of a week then completely detach from your nasty manager. Wfh every day and ignore her irate calls / emails. Grey rock approach. If you have resigned then she can't sack you or force you to enter into any discussion with her.

Your new employer may need a reference from your existing employer and if you just disappear it will cause major problems with tax etc. as you need a P45.

Legally you will have a notice period and if you don’t agree to serve this the company could legitimately take legal action. Best course of action would be to hand in your notice and if you can get a sick note from GP in view of the mental health issues you are facing from your line mangers behaviour take that which conveniently covers your notice period. What this will mean is that you couldn’t start your new role while the sick note was in play as your new employer would be in trouble if anything happened to you at work as their employee liability insurance would be void as you shouldn’t be there.

Alternatively prepare evidence , go directly to HR with your resignation and the evidence and suggest they let you go immediately.

A final option, but will be stressful and drawn out, get your evidence together and approach HR , advise about your new role and claim constructive dismissal in view of the LM behaviour. If the evidence is sufficient you could agree a final severance , no notice to serve and they pay you in lieu.

But don’t just ghost and walk away, tempting though it is , it will cause all sorts of issues with your tax position and could end with you being threatened with legal action and I’m sure you just want to put it all in the past.

I voted not unreasonable because morally you wouldn't be. Unfortunately the law is not always reasonable and it's just not worth the risk. Getting signed off with stress for your notice period sounds like a good plan though.

Is there anyone else you can resign to? Go to them, tell them you are resigning and want the minimum notice period possible due to the working environment. State a week.

it’s very hard to keep someone who is already half out of the door, so they might just accept it and everything is much tidier and you can move on.

I’ve dreamt of doing this with a previous crappy employer but reluctantly worked notice instead.

If it won’t effect your new employment and you are sure you will never need references from them I’d say do it.

They don’t value you obviously so let them see how they get on without you!

Just make sure there would be no repercussions that could jeopardise future employment.

Morally, I suppose you should take the higher ground and give notice but I suspect you’ve suffered enough to say stuff them!

Write down everything she's done, with dates if possible. Print off any evidence - emails etc, including anything from HR giving you the brush off or any unanswered emails you sent to HR. Hand in your notice. Get a fit note for the duration of your notice for stress. Put your feet up until the notice period expires. Start your new job. And then sue your ex-employer for constructive dismissal.

I have worked in staff disputes and I can tell you, the best thing to do is to leave without making a scene. You never know when you will need a reference in the future. If HR have not done anything by now, it usually is down to lack of evidence, or it’s a petty dispute.
Go quietly. Its a bitter pull to swallow but strategically it’s the best things to do.

The problem with ghosting them is that you might need a reference at some time. You also stand a good chance of complicating your tax record if there is no clear date when your employment ended. I would be tempted to give some notice, even if not as long as contractually required and use up any Annual Leave you have accrued. WFH if possible and ignore your LM's ridiculous behaviour. Well done on getting out of this toxic environment.

I think you need to tell them you're resigning, even if you're doing so with zero notice.

I'd probably write a stinker of a resignation letter listing all the problems with the line manager, and send it to the MD, CCing HR.

If HR consulted through a grievance process then they’ve done their job. It’s up to management to take further action within the law.

If you haven’t been able to take much leave you may not actually have to work much notice. I have had 1 month notice periods but 2 weeks of leave, so have only had to do a couple of weeks in the end.

I haven’t read the whole thread but hand your notice in. You never know when you’ll need a reference and most employers are supposed to keep them vague now anyway.

You may hate your new job after a year, or a fabulous new opportunity might present itself in the next 3 yrs that you decide to apply for, or your next place might go under so you need to get another new job. All these scenarios require a reference.

I know you probably want to give your place the big fuck you (I’ve been there, believe me!) but sometimes you have to be the bigger person, for your own good. You can always tactfully drop things in an exit interview if it might make a difference but otherwise hold your head high and move on to better things.

I know of a company that refuses to give a reference to anyone

Extremely unprofessional, you're the one who will look like the bad person if you leave and don't tell anyone. Not to mention the work you'd create for other people (not your boss). It's actually incredibly immature and quite selfish

What's your notice period? If it's a month - get the resignation email in today then some will be covered by current annual leave, check if you're owed any leave and request that then either work to rule (ie absolute minimum that's within contract) for a few weeks or have recurring minor illnesses and call in sick 2 days a week.

Don't do this (use up your sick days after you resign). It's not very ethical and of you're in a small industry word will get around.

The alternative is that you submit your resignation letter setting out in detail all the reasons why you are leaving. Most importantly state that you consider them to be in fundamental breach of your contract, that they have destroyed the relationship of trust and confidence and that you are leaving with immediate effect.

Basically this means that you consider yourself no longer bound by the terms of your contract and therefore the notice period doesn't apply.

If you want you can contact ACAS to start early conciliation in relation to a constructive dismissal claim but that's ultimately a matter for you.

At least doing it this way you end your employment and they will issue your P45. They should also pay any accrued holiday to which you're entitled.

Great advice

I'd resign effective from the day you want to quit. If they kick up a fuss about notice period etc I'd hit them with the possibility of a tribunal for constructive dismissal. Given the fact HR are aware of your issues and haven't helped, they won't want the threat of tribunal

Hand in your notice and get the doctor to immediately sign you off sick with stress.