Angry men problem is bigger than racism…

[anxioussister]

I was speaking to a close friend this morning who is part of the leadership at a local mosque. He was expressing despair about what the world could do with all these angry young (and not so young) men

It reminded me of the Scott Galloway quote ‘there is no one on earth so dangerous as a young man who is poor and alone’ - and by alone meaning not attached to a meaningful career, purpose or community. I think he’s right.

Obviously racist attacks are abhorrent - but what on earth is society supposed to do about all these people?

they are so angry, seem largely extremely poorly educated + unable to emotionally regulate themselves. How can they be plugged in to society so they can contribute something + feel part of something rather than just raging about what they aren’t given?

YABU - this is mainly a race issue

Totally agree but I don’t think it’s just due to the last government but several previous ones too as the problems are multi generational and run through families in some cases

Honestly, I don't think men have changed much. Society has.

Men have always had to be aggressive to protect their communities; this has been ongoing since the dawn of time. Up until 80 years ago there had been fairly regular conflicts and men were sent off to fight, so partially had an outlet there. Aggression against women - physically and sexually - has always been prevalent. Aggression against other groups of people was always commonplace, be it foreigners or those with different religious views. Work for the majority of men was hard and physical - again, neccessitating a degree of aggression.

What has changed is the type of man society needs now. In the last 50 years or so, physical work has become a lot more scarce. There are no large conflicts on domestic soil and men don't have to serve in the army abroad. Men are suddenly expected to be a lot softer, to work in ways that are, biologically speaking, far more suited to women due to their academic or precise nature and lack of movement. There is limited time for physical activity due to societal expectations, and often also limited money (say, for the gym and necessary equipment).

I'm honestly not sure what the solution is, but I do think that the way society has changed has a lot to do with the increase in internalised anger we see from men here, and it bubbles over at times.

Men’s testosterone presents as anger ..naturally their primitive urges were to hunt/kill for survival. In modern day young men often sit in front of Xboxes, sometimes playing games involving violence, which means that they’re storing all of their pent up emotions with nowhere for them to go

Physical sport and/or the National Service would help

Surely what's changed is that toxic masculinity is no longer considered acceptable.

Women can always easily get sex if they want but many choosing to stay single.

Incels are everywhere and the angry sexless men are a scourge.

Yes.

The running down of UK manufacturing, with more physical jobs, and promotion of a service economy haven’t helped some. We need that pent up male energy to grow food and get the harvest in.

Yes, most women don't want or expect a man to look after them, but they do want a partnership of equals where the work and the responsibility is shared. I think that's progress. Both men and women can find purpose in that.

Neurodiversity - addictions - trauma, either from childhood or current - diet (energy drinks, fast food) - poor mental health with no support - lack of physical exertion - a distrust of the Government and lack of opportunities

put all these together and what do we see?

I agree OP. Nothing makes for a contented society more than young men with full pockets from jobs that keep them fully occupied.

And I mean "men". Unemployed young women don't seem to have these issues.

[Had to Google Scott Galloway BTW]

Why ffs?

Quite frankly I’m surprised anyone has the energy to go out rioting and fighting.
Seriously most people I know work hard and have so much to do they do not have the time or energy.
You must be sat on your backside constantly if you aren’t exhausted.

Erm, no, women can't "easily" get sex if they want it. At least, I've certainly never found it easy. There are plenty if involuntarily celibate women, but they don't go attacking people over it. They tend to keep quiet and internalise it. Comments like yours increase the shame and stigma: it's far, far less socially acceptable to be a woman who can't find sex easily, so the shame and silence around it is immense.

@Ponoka7
Wrt hating Taylor Swift -

Because they are tuned in to right wing misogyny and lap up the pronouncements of the likes of Trump and Vance, who have overtly derided Swift, with comments about cat ladies the latest in the invective.

https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/donald-trump-more-popular-taylor-swift-maga-biden-1234956829/

Trump's 'culture war' reflects and inspires a global wave of extreme backlash against feminism.

Tbh the people I know of who are right wing, would turn up to have a go at the police, those who are racist etc aren't listening to Trump.

I don't agree with women being able to easily get sex. Only if we all started ignoring social norms. Men still overwhelmingly do the chasing-the reason incels struggle is because they are so entitled they aren't willing to do that. So they blame women for dating men who have bothered to put in an effort and actually ask them out. It's still quite unusual for a woman to ask a man out-so we have to wait around to be asked. If you have under average looks that may never happen. Men actually have it easier-it's just a numbers game to them, ask enough women and sooner or later one will say yes.

Well you really don’t have to wait around to be asked, most men are simply delighted to be asked, and it hasn’t been particularly unusual for women to initiate for a very long time.

But, if you’d rather they do it, then all you have to do is wait around in an appropriate venue (including OLD) being friendly and available and they will ask you - your looks would have to be very under average for that not to happen. In this I think it’s very hard to argue men have it easier.

@theduchessofspork But, if you’d rather they do it, then all you have to do is wait around in an appropriate venue (including OLD) being friendly and available and they will ask you

Well that still requires a certain amount of effort/social skills just like it would for men. Women probably find it slightly easier naturally, but there are still many introverted women with self-confidence issues who would struggle to come across as friendly and available. No different than the problems incels face.

I won't argue OLD is harder for men but it's not their only option. They just have to put the time and effort into it.