Angry men problem is bigger than racism…

[anxioussister]

I was speaking to a close friend this morning who is part of the leadership at a local mosque. He was expressing despair about what the world could do with all these angry young (and not so young) men

It reminded me of the Scott Galloway quote ‘there is no one on earth so dangerous as a young man who is poor and alone’ - and by alone meaning not attached to a meaningful career, purpose or community. I think he’s right.

Obviously racist attacks are abhorrent - but what on earth is society supposed to do about all these people?

they are so angry, seem largely extremely poorly educated + unable to emotionally regulate themselves. How can they be plugged in to society so they can contribute something + feel part of something rather than just raging about what they aren’t given?

YABU - this is mainly a race issue

Just wanted to share this for those that haven't seen

x.com/politlcsuk/status/1821295531551027544?s=46

Tonight across the entire of England there have been two reports of violence - a blocked highway in Portsmouth and a brick thrown through a police van window. That's it. Because the "left" wing anti racist groups came out. These people will not win

I know right. It’s the same for single sexless young women, marauding in the streets.

Except …. Oh.

Yay. what I always hoped would happen

Get lost, small-minded racist types.!

You had your 15 minutes of fame and now you can live with your 6 years+ of unfortunate criminal record disclosure, or more if you ever aspired to a job requiring enhanced DBS ;)

Maybe they should quit the weed and gaming and go socialise, no one is keeping these men single but themselves.

Do we think that the situation in Austria and Taylor Swift having to cancel all of her concerts, will add fuel to the fire?

Even very educated people can be surprisingly easily misled.

The more you think it couldn’t happen to you the more I guarantee it is!

Exactly.

Some men are angry and violent and misogynistic. It has little to do with their education or their income.

Every 3 days in this country a woman is murdered by a man.

We urgently need to research the underlying cause of the anger felt by these men.

I didn’t know that immigrants in the UK don’t pay any tax, when did HMRC put that in place?

It is a big problem though, and very complex. And no one is prepared to discuss it sensibly.

Many, many disabled people are in that exact position, and have been told they are to blame for society's ills.

Men are perfectly capable, biologically, of nurture and collaboration.

This is one of the silliest posts I've ever seen on MN.
Yes, women are to blame for male violence. Of course we are. Because after all, in the good old days when we wimmenz knew our place, male violence did not exist. 🙄

But girls from the same social cohort do better than them in school. There is a difference between the school adaptation of white working class boys and girls.

The boys fall behind in reading once their cohort advances past phonics and into reading for comprehensuon and accessing the wider curriculum, and by the time they've completed the first couple of years of secondary, all hope of engagement with school is gone.

Peer pressure among boys reinforces their lack of engagement. This is an example of toxic masculinity coming back to bite everyone on the bum.

I suspect the rioters and people like them hate Taylor Swift with a vengeance.

I swear people always do what they can to try and downplay the severity of racism. Always gotta compare it to something else and say it's not racism it's xxx or xxx is bigger.

Your thread is utterly ridiculous, insulting and insensitive as hell.

See also reading, doing well in school, respecting teachers and accepting their authority in the classroom.

You do realise that you are in the minority with such extreme views. The counter protests last night demonstrates this quite clearly. Immigration is an issue undoubtedly and we need to get a handle on it, but the real issue is infrastructure. Investment in infrastructure hasn't kept pace with the population increase.

Muslims have their own banks because they do not charge interest as it is against their beliefs. There is nothing wrong with this. They do not believe you should profit from money. And your comment about them, whoever they are, not paying taxes is ludicrous. There is an issue with unemployment amongst poor, young Muslim men, but this also exists in the white community too.

I think you will find that you hate them. There are good and evil individuals in every community in this country. There are hateful people from ethnic minorities, but just as many hateful white people as your post exemplifies.

If life in your community is so bad look up to see why instead of punching down. It's millionaires and billionaires, successive conservative governments, multinational corporations who have exploited and then abandoned communities who are to blame, not asylum seekers who, metaphorically speaking, do not have a pot to piss in.

I agree. I am in Australia and the angry men is a worldwide thing in general, not just UK. My colleague who is married, earns a good wage, has a nice supportive family etc etc is a very angry Trump supporter who thinks that the reason women get murdered in DV situations is because of feminism.

He watches a LOT of You Tube videos late at night when he should be in bed and that’s how I think he has become radicalised. He wasn’t like this a few years ago and he was much happier back then.

Plenty of young men have been let down by society. I have commented on a few threads now about how white working class boys underperform at school and how many working class, male jobs have disappeared. They are not just angry but they are also vunerable. This is from the ONS website "Since around 1990, men have been at least three times as vulnerable to death from suicide as women. Research by Samaritans suggests that this greater risk is due to a complex set of reasons, including increased family breakdown leaving more men living alone; the decline of many traditionally male-dominated industries; and social expectations about masculinity:
"They have seen their jobs, relationships and identity blown apart. There is a large gap between the reality of life for such men and the masculine ideal.""

There does have to be an element of personal responsibility, of course there does. But that goes for any other group too. I've seen posters ripped apart on MN for suggesting that disabled, those in poverty, single mothers...etc should help themselves. If you would talk about another group in society with more compassion then maybe there's an element of racism and misandry to your thinking.

What you've listed is spot on.
The it costs millions in hotel bills for refugees bit really pisses me off because it conjures up images of being on holiday.
This couldn't be further from the truth substandard accommodation, cheapest food possible, family all in one room for months on end.
I'm always curious as to whose mates got those contracts.
The vilification of the disabled is abhorrent.
We recently had to claim UC been living off savings etc .my dw can only work 16 hrs due to oesteoporosis, osteoarthritis.work coach said there maybe a cure for it....words literally failed me.

I think you are right OP.

In the past, young men were valued for their strength and energy. It didn't matter if they were not academic. They were paid well and could afford a home, a car & attract a girlfriend easily. But things that have changed are:

• computerisation has rendered physical strength less valuable
• more women are competing in the work place
• boys have to get their head around the fact their girlfriend may earn more than them
• more jobs requiring qualifications / a degree

It isn't the same for girls because the traditional things that girls aspired to are still valued - to be beautiful, to be a good mother etc. So girls can be academic, a professional success or they can go the traditional route. Or both

So many young men struggle to see their place in the world. They worry and they internalise it because it isn't 'cool' to express those worries. It's why suicide rates among young men are so high. It's why the rates of individuals 'gone missing' are much higher for men between the ages of 15-25.

Feeling hopeless and disenfranchised inevitably results in anger and frustration. It's where the incel movement has come from.

I've already had to talk my 15yo ds down from a worry that 'girls will only go out with someone who has £80k a year and a car'. Thankfully he confides in me, he tells me his worries. I've been able to prove that is rubbish, that it's just sexist nonsense peddled on the web.

Too many boys have been raised to expect to follow their fathers, the world has changed and now they are struggling.

I'm not saying anger and frustration is right, I'm not saying that more girls in the workplace is a bad thing (obviously, I'm one of them) but I do think we need to support our young men more, and help them to find their feet.

I totally agree! All of it is angry alone men - disengaged lonely teenagers, disengaged lonely migrants, apart from maybe disengaged angry British men who seem not to be alone but certainly lacking purpose in life.
All this community blaming just fills a void and stops them feeling responsible for themselves - it's the immigrants, it's the white people, it's the women and girls living freely etc.
I have no sympathy for any of it - they should all grow up, take responsibility for their own futures and appreciate we all have to share this ailing planet with people who may or may not share our belief system.
Do something to help people instead of throwing toys and fighting like spoilt toddlers.
Why is this such an accepted male trait? Why are women "naturally more caring"?
Absolutely sick of it - men can also be "naturally" protective of others but Farage, Trump, Isis, Hamas, Israel, Putin, etc etc just seem to want to fight others and do nothing at all productive to help the world and that seems to start a chain reaction of dickhead blokes retaliating.
Why can't positive, constructive helpfulness from men be the new social contagion?
Not a chance is there!

This is the silliest post I've ever seen on Mumsnet.

Do you think women choose to be single, full time working mums? Do you imagine we wouldn't love someone to share life with, to carry half the financial and emotional load?

But women want to be treated as equals, to share. Successful marriages are based on a fair share of workload. Marriages and partnerships fail when that does not happen. I took our ds and left when my ex treated me like dirt after ds was born. My life is easier as a full time working single mum, than it was living with my partner, which shows that he was just a hinderance. His contribution to the mortgage didn't make up for his abuse and contempt.

All the women are still out there. Demographics haven't changed but we need to raise our sons to expect to pull their weight with cleaning bathrooms and cooking meals. Their expectations from childhood must be that they pull their weight, and that they take pride in that.

I think lack of community doesn't help. There's no place to bring people together anymore. Pubs have gone, community services like halls and libraries are shut or significantly reduced, even parks are shut early because we can't fund them to be cleaned and secure and most at least in our area still haven't recovered from COVID (benches still removed or chained off).

So that means community is found online and they slip down an algorithm.