Am I mad to consider this with a newborn?

[Planningatrip]

We’re wondering if it’s going to be feasible to go up to Scotland to see family this Christmas, and make a little weekend out of it perhaps and potter round the Christmas markets. If we did this we would be staying in a hotel/AirBnb for 2 or 3 nights and so would need to drive up in order to fit our pram and travel cot in. It’s a 3 hour drive, so we’d obviously have to stop several times.

Our baby could be anywhere between 5 and 8 weeks old, depending on when she’s born.

Naively I’m thinking this could actually be the easiest age. Yes we’ll be tired, but we’ll be tired wherever we are. Planning on breastfeeding so hopefully shouldn’t have to worry about bottles and the likes.

AIBU to think about it? Do I need a reality check?

Both of mine took about 8 weeks to recover from but that's probably the extreme end....I had problems with breastfeeding the first as well and I don't think being away from home would have helped. Most likely it will be fine but who knows.

I could have done this. Before the new recommendations about car seat durations, we took dd1 to Devon aged 2 months. She'd never slept longer than an hour or two at a time at that point so we assumed we'd have to stop. But actually she slept the whole way, 3.5 hours.

Given the new guidelines I could see the benefit of going by train....

Tiny babies, especially breastfed ones hardly need any stuff compared to older kids. And they do generally sleep a lot too.

It’s doable but I’d want to be staying somewhere very central, as if you’re not fully set up breastfeeding its bloody cold and a hassle to be getting boobs out or through coat jumper top 1 top 2 bra!

I currently have a 3 week old and had a c section and would feel fine if we had planned this trip even at this age, all the do really is feed, poo and sleep 😂. The drive and needing to stop would be the only faffy bit, but I would sit in the back with them as well as stopping a couple of times.

I flew from London to Dundee with my first born when he was six weeks old. He then went to France when he was 10 weeks old. Both times he was an absolute fucker with sleep... but since he'd been that way since birth, I figured I'd do the whole sleep deprivation bit whilst on hols and with people around who could help as I dozed. Honestly, feeding was the easiest of eveyrthing.

2DC, both caesarean, both EBF. I was out and about almost as normal within a week both times.

However I wouldn't have attempted a 3 hour car journey. For one, it's dangerous for a newborn to be in a car seat for long (30 mins is recommended) due to the risk of positional asphyxiation, so you'd be stopping 5+ times. Also, when they cried and we couldn't get to them as we were on the motorway it was really distressing.

If it's somewhere you can get to by train then I'd definitely go. You can cuddle, feed, change nappies, walk up and down whenever you need to.

Everyone is different, you are right, I'm just kind of pointing to worst case scenario, not in a doom and gloom way, but more so that it's not a shock if it happens.

@Wavescrashingonthebeach I think this is exactly why I've found the first couple of months much easier than I expected (obviously the easy sleep-hungry baby helps too). I'd read so many horror stories on MN in 3 years of TTC and kicking round the parenting boards that I was convinced it was going to be utterly horrendous. I guess expect the worst and hope for the best applies!

Have only read first page and your replies but hopped on to say the baby wouldn't really need a travel cot at that age, or much stuff at all, so train would be easier. If you have a good quality pram that is approved for overnight sleeping that would do a few nights, and baby might be in with you co-sleeping anyway. If you are visiting relatives that are helpful they can hold the baby for times you want to do something else, so you wouldn't need a seat/bouncer etc, or even a play mat. You could put a blanket on the ground if you wanted to let them stretch out/kick etc. So you could at least relax on the train, feed whenever you want, eat, doze, etc.

This!
I didn't want to leave the living room at this point. My husband kept wanting to go for days out and didn't understand the cluster feeding at all! You may have a baby that has a 'witching hour' (or 3 like my daughter did at that age!)
Alternatovely you may be fine and ready to travel and mingle. Everyone is different!

I did similar when dd was 5 weeks old.
I was in such a sleep deprived WTF have I done state I don’t actually remember much of it. I have some lovely photos though 🤣🤣.
The only issue I remember was the service station had a queue for the toilets. And my battered, healing pelvic floor couldn’t wait at the time. I could have kissed the lovely lady who let me go in the front of the queue.

It's impossible to know whether this is possible or not. I had an horrendous birth and couldn't walk straight for 5 months. So it would have been a non-starter for me but my baby was fine, so if I'd been fit it would have been doable.

However, regardless of whether you're both fit and able to go... I don't think you'll be able to potter around the Christmas markets... feeding and changing don't really go with pottering!

That is most definitely it! Expect the best, prepare for the worst with literally anything baby related.
I guess I was like that with breastfeeding found it incredibly easy.

I remember naively agreeing to travel from Edinburgh to Skye because DH thought family had to get to see the new arrival. We left after a feed in the middle of the night. No A9 then so I think it was a 5 hour drive. No bridge to Skye then either - but we were in the queue for the first ferry of the day. But, really, it was all fine. If you can’t stay with family, choose an Airbnb rather than a hotel as you can slop around and relax more. Order a Waitrose delivery to the holiday house. And enjoy time with the baby, never mind the markets, which are pretty tacky anyway.

Are you planning to use a bedside cot? I'd recommend taking your own as I'd never put a newborn in a hotel travel cot and if your up a lot in the night they're more awkward.

We had a tutti bambini cozee and it is liberally up and down in 30 seconds and comes with a travel bag. Superior to the next to me we'd had with our first.

I had c-sections. We were visiting in-laws 200 miles away within a couple of weeks and driving to France by 6 weeks. My dh was driving so I was fine. We stopped pretty regularly for breastfeeding breaks so the journey time was longer than usual

I think it’s worth checking the guidelines for how long a newborn should be in a car seat. I think it’s no longer than 30 minutes. But I also read no longer than 2 hours within a 24 hour time period due to the pressure on the spine and difficulties it could cause with breathing.

I would look into properly before planning a trip.

For one, it's dangerous for a newborn to be in a car seat for long (30 mins is recommended) due to the risk of positional asphyxiation, so you'd be stopping 5+ times.

This is an interesting one because both of the NHS trusts I've been under recommend 2 hours, not 30 minutes - I just checked and they still do. And our GP, midwife, nurse and health visitor were all perfectly comfortable with 2 hours at a stretch, especially with one adult sitting in the back seat. They were mostly concerned about babies not being left unattended in car seats or allowed to sleep in one outside the car. I'm not arguing with posters who are saying 30 minutes (I'm sure they're giving the advice that was given to them and am absolutely not claiming they're wrong, lying, or otherwise being unreasonable here), but there's clearly a big variation in recommendations on this front.

If you have a c section you won’t manage this. It also totally depends on what’s going on with your baby, at that age we were in the deep end trying to get her CMPA diagnosed and sorted and it was a struggle to do anything really. Baby will also be due their first jabs at 8 weeks old so could your trip fall over that period depending on birth date, I don’t think you can reschedule the appointment by much. As others have pointed out you’d be better on the train so baby can be picked up and cuddled/fed by you otherwise you’ll be stopping all the time in the car. Breastfeeding may not go to plan either, I desperately wanted to but my baby wouldn’t latch due to a tongue tie so we had to do bottles then had the CMPA as I mentioned. If your baby fails to get back up to birth weight in the required time you’ll be under additional care with extra HV appointments so again these appointments could fall whilst you’re away and they are needed at certain times to ensure weight gain. My baby is 11 weeks now and I still wouldn’t plan a trip like this as we’ve just established a good routine that I wouldn’t want to disrupt.

If you desperately want to go and the trip cannot wait until next year then book fully refundable travel and accommodation so you can cancel. Edinburgh also books up quickly and early over the festive period so you’d need to book sooner than later. It’s also really cold so you’d need a really good pram suit for baby. At least you could stock up on nappies easily from a shop in the city though. You’d need to bring a Moses basket with you as I don’t think a travel cot in the hotel would be the best for such a tiny baby.

Not martyrdom, but it's clear that experiences vary significantly, so there's no point in the OP not being made aware. Baby no1 for me was an emergency C section, complications and a colicky baby. I couldn't have done it, but obviously everyone is different. It's wise to understand what other mums think.

Hmm.

Well we went to a long weekend wedding when our second was 6 weeks - but he was our second and although there was the birth and the sleep deprivation to get over that wasn't the total life adjustment thing that comes with your first!

It could be fine - if you have a straightforward birth and your baby and you get the knack of bfing together and if she sleeps reasonably ok (by which I mean she will sleep for chunks of time so you can sleep).

But on the other hand you could be recovering from a cx, breastfeeding might be really difficult, you could get mastitis or infected stitches/cs scar, she might be a very high needs baby that doesn't sleep much. You might be totally sleep deprived and you and your dh might hate each other as you're so knackered and stressed and you might feel a terrible bomb has gone off in your lives.

Sorry to put a downer but just trying to be realistic ... !

Just to reassure that it is unlikely to be that bad. - and even if it is, nothing lasts long with babies. Things are terrible and then usually they improve for a bit. Or you feel things are really going well and you've got this, then there is teething or sleep regression or some other development leap - and your baby not only moves the goalposts but totally changes the game and runs off with the ball.

Hey ho. Low expectations and celebration of small wins is the way forward !

And go easy on yourself. If given care and love, ❤️, babies develop- it just happens! You don't need to force it and worry too much if your baby isn't doing it by the book.

Would second the train suggestion.
We travelled from London to Scotland when he was almost two months old and it was fantastic.
Don't fancy doing it now he's almost two and a half right enough 😁

Second child yes, first child no chance. A lot will depend on how you adjust to parenthood tbh. To some it comes easily, to others not so much.......

Just come back from a lovely week away with my 10 week old and 2.5 year old, to an Airbnb which was 2.5 hours drive away. I'm EBF, had a c section (didn't heal fantastically but was still okay by 5 weeks ish) and baby has colicky evenings for a good few hours each night without fail. Toddler was also poorly for first couple of days. We still had a great time though and tbh it would've been just as hard (if not harder) at home, so I'm glad we braved it and made lots of lovely new memories! Just be prepared for everything to take 3x as long as you expect 😅

Go for it. We did a city break in Glasgow when my second was 2 weeks old after I had a c section. We had the best time making memories and enjoying my husbands pat leave. I’d highly recommend it but agree with others to book accommodation that you can cancel if you need to.

I could definitely have done this with my 2nd. I had a straightforward birth and felt amazing post partum.

My first however I had an infected episiotomy wound after forceps for 12 weeks and 5 weeks was the height of endless hours of cluster feeding (pumping 2nd time round) so I would say you probably can't make a decision until you have had the baby.