Am I mad to consider this with a newborn?

[Planningatrip]

We’re wondering if it’s going to be feasible to go up to Scotland to see family this Christmas, and make a little weekend out of it perhaps and potter round the Christmas markets. If we did this we would be staying in a hotel/AirBnb for 2 or 3 nights and so would need to drive up in order to fit our pram and travel cot in. It’s a 3 hour drive, so we’d obviously have to stop several times.

Our baby could be anywhere between 5 and 8 weeks old, depending on when she’s born.

Naively I’m thinking this could actually be the easiest age. Yes we’ll be tired, but we’ll be tired wherever we are. Planning on breastfeeding so hopefully shouldn’t have to worry about bottles and the likes.

AIBU to think about it? Do I need a reality check?

Probably best to wait til you have the baby as there are so many variables you can't control (birth and birth timing, establishing breast feeding, adjusting to parenting a new born, weather and traffic for the journey). And you might just find that when your beautiful new baby is here, you want time in your own home establishing your new routines.

If you do want to try and make a trip, definitely opt for something cancellable and family friendly. Newborns can be very loud day and night and you may find this hard in a hotel.

What is possible and what is enjoyable may well be two different things. I went to a wedding which involved travel with a 3.5 week old. The journey took ages as we kept having to stop for nappy changes or to make sure the baby wasn’t in the car seat for too long. We were all absolutely exhausted, I still had very heavy lochia, it still hurt to sit on my stitches and breast feeding hadn’t worked so was having to manage bottles. I’m glad we made the effort to go but we’d have enjoyed it much more a month or two later and I wouldn’t have fancied the travel for a visit that could wait.

Honestly I agree, newborns are the easiest age to do stuff with in my experience!

Book it and choose one with a good cancellation policy just in case, but I think it’d be fine.

Practically speaking, it's totally fine.

I did this with both DC when they were 3 months old (drove to France), they are very portable at this stage.

What is going to make all the difference is your mental state.

With DC1 I found it so stressful it was horrendous (I had postnatal anxiety and being away from home made me worry even more about everything and I was totally overwhelmed even though there were no issues at all)

With DC2 it was a really enjoyable time, no different to being at home and I loved being near family.

So as PP said maybe make sure it's cancellable as it's a little unpredictable how you will feel.

I did Center parcs with 4 week old twins and a 4 year old. I’m quite anxious and not one of those mums that can just ‘wing it’ but it gave me a confidence boost and made me realise that I could (and still can!) do it! As long as you can make it work for you then I don’t see any reason not to go for it!

We did a similar distance/type of trip with our first baby at 6-7 weeks old and it was really nice. I know people say 'babies are portable' but all their crap is NOT and I don't miss having a car stuffed to the gunwales.
At that time we were only just beginning to understand our newborn's reflux/CMPA problems... she was really not an easy baby but I'd still do it again. It was hard work but yes would be hard anywhere.

Everyone and every baby is different though so I would definitely treat it as a potential until you can see what will be manageable for you. No shame in cosying up at home. You don't get medals for doing The Most with a newborn.

We travelled for a family wedding when eldest was four weeks old about the same distance it was sooooo not worth it. I was still getting breast feeding established and spent a lot of the wedding reception in our room feeding as I hadn't got the hang of feeding in front of others yet (didn't help that every time I went to sit away somewhere quiet to feed family kept coming to keep me company 🙄 so had to go hide in room to get some privacy/ not flash anyone) honestly I just wanted to be at home.

I drove from London to Scotland when DD was 5 days old. I kept driving until she woke up, fed and changed her etc for a while then went again until she woke up again. I did this trip about every 3-4 months until my eldest DD was 5 Also had a Jane lie flat car seat.

I had an easy birth so no problem if all is well 3 hours is nothing, but it all depends on you we are all different, 7-8 hour drives didn't phase me but my SIL will not drive more than about an hour anywhere, just do what suits you

We did 1.5hrs from home with a 6week old for my MIL’s birthday weekend. It was lovely to have a change of scenery and be around family but I was very emotional and exhausted! But I look back on it as a fond memory so it can’t have been that bad. We did a few long walks with baby in the sling so pottering around Christmas markets sounds doable! I had an EMCS too.

Our baby was 5 weeks old when we travelled from Essex to Devon for a week for our honeymoon he was 4 weeks when we got married so honeymooned in this country it wasn’t hard at all go for it x

After my first child I had to lay on my front for 3 wks on a beanbag because the bunch of piles that came out of my bottom during childbirth made it impossible to sit down.

5-8 weeks, if all is going well, should be fine. A nice trip and break.

But then we went to a hotel by the sea for 3 nights when Dc1 was 2.5 weeks old, and by 9.5 weeks we had taken a plane and ferry to an island.

You never know how things will be, so I agree, see if you can book something cancellable in case you need more time.

Do what feels good: I loved the feeling that as a new family we were free to start having adventures. And we got on ok with bf etc.

This was after having an extended period in hospital after the birth.

If in the end you need more time, for whatever reason, to spend more time at home getting established, fine: you have nothing to prove.

But I wouldn’t let doom and gloom put you off the very idea from the off.

I really wouldn't want to be changing a newborns nappy on the motorway service station changing tables and in the middle of December be too cold to do it outside.
I wouldn't want a newborn in a car that long either.
Personally I wouldn't but as other pp have said you may be totally fine.
And there's tired. And then there's TIRED. Newborn tired is beyond anything you've ever experienced.

At 8 weeks we travelled to North Wales from London, with a dog too and we were travelling 8 hours allowing for stops. A little bit tiring but it was fine. I just sat in the back with the baby.

Of course you’ll be able to do it. I drove 8 hours with a 3 week old first born when I was 19, just so my dying nan could meet him. I just ensured to stop every 2-3 hours to change him and breastfeed him. Thankfully he liked the motion of the car so slept soundly most of the time. If you’re going with someone else then even better.
YOLO

I think this sounds lovely! Take it easy, don’t put pressure on yourself and you’ll have a nice time. Where in Scotland?

If its your second baby then no. If it is your first baby then yes.

I travelled with mine at 4 days old for 5 days. I had a very straightforward birth and a 1yo and needed someone to entertain him.

Yes. Go next year x

Newborn tired is beyond anything you've ever experienced.

As with every other experience, this totally depends on you, your recovery and ultimately
your baby.

I'm 40 with a 9 week old and nowhere near as tired as I was at 28 and working 2 jobs (plus partying every night I wasn't working).

While I'm fully prepared for the fact that I may end up with a 6 month old / 1 year old / toddler who doesn't sleep well, I currently have a newborn who (so far) does, plus a DH who does his share. We were out and about from day 4 and a short break at week 5 or 6 wouldn't have been an issue.

Definitely something I’d have done. But then we took our youngest (of 4) to the States when he was 5 weeks old and I was post c section. New babies are really portable.

Think you won't know until you have the baby so I wouldn't make plans. Some women are shopping the next day in supermaket after birth others don't leave the house for a month

Babies are extremely portable unless you have difficulties with colic etc. When one of mine was that age I did a long haul flight alone with them and my toddler and it wasn’t an ordeal at all. I would plan it but be aware that you may have to let it go if you have an especially rough birth or the baby is extra fussy.

DS was 6 weeks old when we did a similar thing. Was completely fine.

I was fussing more about making sure he didn’t over heat each time we went in to a shop because he was so well wrapped up

@CheeseWisely

Thats funny because I was the opposite. I could party for days in my younger years. Work hard play hard. Go to work on 1 hours sleep. All kinds.

I had quite alot of energy immediately after DS1 was born but had crashed by week 5 or 6 plus he was colicky.

At around this stage with DS2 I was so tired I was hallucinating. I know that's extreme but I searched for threads on it at the time and it seems common enough.

I breastfed round the clock with both of them and had some support but not lots as DP wasn't living with us yet.

Everyone is different, you are right, I'm just kind of pointing to worst case scenario, not in a doom and gloom way, but more so that its not a shock if it happens.

Yes we’ll be tired, but we’ll be tired wherever we are.

OP in the kindest way, you are about to find out what tired means in a few months. Sleep deprivation during those first weeks is very very real, and breasfeeeing makes it even worse. This Christmas the less you do the more enjoyable.
(Mother of 3- whish I knew this before!)