Am I mad to consider this with a newborn?

[Planningatrip]

We’re wondering if it’s going to be feasible to go up to Scotland to see family this Christmas, and make a little weekend out of it perhaps and potter round the Christmas markets. If we did this we would be staying in a hotel/AirBnb for 2 or 3 nights and so would need to drive up in order to fit our pram and travel cot in. It’s a 3 hour drive, so we’d obviously have to stop several times.

Our baby could be anywhere between 5 and 8 weeks old, depending on when she’s born.

Naively I’m thinking this could actually be the easiest age. Yes we’ll be tired, but we’ll be tired wherever we are. Planning on breastfeeding so hopefully shouldn’t have to worry about bottles and the likes.

AIBU to think about it? Do I need a reality check?

I had a PPH and felt fine straight away. We did a few days away when ours was 3 weeks old, it was a 2-2h30 drive and I remember only stopping once, everything we read said a break every 2h was fine. We spent most of it just feeding her but she drank really slowly!

My DC are older now and I couldn't remember where I'd read or heard the 30 minute thing so I just googled and you're correct that most sources say 2 hours max, but I did find this which states 30 minutes. Doesn't seem as though that ever really fed into mainstream advice though.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-37947841

I had a maxi cosi carseat and it stated 30mins for newborns/ 2hrs for older babies in their info. I just had a look on their website and its still on there - https://www.maxi-cosi.co.uk/c/long-car-journeys-your-baby-tips-safe-and-comfortable-travel-your-new-born-baby

But ive also seen it discussed a lot on ERF car seat groups, so i do wonder if it originally came over from parts of Europe that have far safer car seat rules than we do. As we know, the UK in general is quite behind on that front so it wouldn't surprise me if NHS guidance hasn't changed yet.

@Raveonette and @Disastrouspottytraining it seems like there isn't much consensus on it and that's not surprising. The BBC video shares the result of one small study (not enough to set policy from) and specifies newborns under 4 weeks, and the maxi cosi says 30 min for newborns and 2 hours for infants but doesn't define newborn. And then there are factors like seat model, fit and positioning, whether an adult is in the rear seat next to them, has clear visibility in a mirror, or has no visibility, and other individual risk factors.

To some extent that sums up a lot of parenting decisions, honestly - not a lot of consensus, the advice keeps changing, and when you dig the answer is "it depends on..." as often as not 😭

I had lost 6 pints of blood, 4 transfusions and was in intensive care for 3 days so yep I felt like death at 6 weeks still. My haemoglobin level was still very low and I was taking large doses of iron every day.

It's different for everyone.

Ha ha! I know. Babies 2 and 3, I got to week 3/4 and thought they were settling. Then hit weeks 5/6. Agghhhhh! It's like a full-blown workout every evening. This time I told my older 2 who looked horrified "week 6 is the week a baby cries most". Thankfully, it was true.

Given my experiences, I wouldn't even begin considering this - not even a 1% chance

Do it the following year!

The research isn’t robust enough for the NHS to change the guidelines but the people running the study which suggested this pulled the study because the oxgyen deprivation of babies in the car seat was so alarming it wouldn’t have been ethical to continue with the research.

Definitely do it! I was back doing motorsport at six weeks and had had a csection.

There’s something very lovely about going on a little adventure with your baby. Plus people will make a fuss of you, which is always nice.

Don’t discourage someone just because you had a rough ride. Not everyone is broken by it.

Yes, and jeez, with a newborn no way would I risk it. That is a LONG drive! I'd go by train for definite... IF I went. Personally, I wouldn't have done. Following neither of my births was I ready to do that at the 5 week mark. Baby 1 I could have done it physically but my baby was an enormous challenge, cried all the time, had health issues and it would have been the worst. Baby 2 was super easy but following a c section and slow recovery I couldn't have managed physically. Everyone's experiences are different though. My friends ranged from a) still being in NICU at 5 weeks, to b) going on a plane to visit family abroad. You will have seen the range on here - you won't know your own situation until it happens.
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, as someone on here has sagely said.

My first I was still in the grips of PND then, but my pain would have been manageable. My second I would still have been in pain and DS breastfed every 1 - 1.5 hours and constantly from 4pm to 2am. So I wouldn't have wanted to do it. However you may be completely fine!

The OP is literally looking for advice on whether or not to do it? Lots of people on here have said they wouldn't have been able based on their experiences, lots have said they would. I wasn't broken by anything and didn't have a rough ride but still wouldn't ha e been able for what the OP is suggesting!

I'd go. You don't know how birth will go or what position you will be in but I wouldn't let that stop me arranging to do things.
Book something that has free cancellation until closer to the time so you have flexibility.
3 hours isn't too bad as long as you are splitting the journey up into suitable sections for how old baby is. Make a day of it and stop somewhere nice with something christmassy to do on the way.
We did a trip for a wedding that was 2.5hour away at around 8 weeks ish wiht our eldest. Split the journey to limit car seat time. Stopped for a long lunch on the way and I sat in the back with baby. Stayed at a hotel not airbnb but it worked really well.

At that time of year you'll need to factor in bad weather as well, so just plan for that too.

I'd book it, but have an option to cancel.

I travelled to Wales at 2 & 4 weeks postpartum to stay with my mum and was fine (first baby). 2 hour journey, knowing my mum would look after me (totally different to catering for yourself) Easy pregnancy, easy birth, terrible sleeping baby (for the next 2 years!) I even went out with the baby for dinner with friends at 4 weeks. If both you and the baby are healthy it can be done. Took qat baby abroad at 6 months,which h we found pretty easy.

2nd baby did similar wales trip at 4 weeks. Again easy pregnancy and birth. Trickier planning with a toddler in addition to a baby, more stuff to remember. I ended up with bad matisitis and an Abcess by 6 weeks, total game changer- I was really unwell and needed medical care on a daily basis for about 3 weeks. I would not want to go anywhere.

We were very unadventurous during the toddler years, it was too much effort for little reward, then covid hit.

Kids are now primary school aged and although it's much easier, there is so much stuff to

My cousin has a six week old, they started touring the EU two weeks ago, they’ll be with us soon in Sweden, then make their way back to the UK via a different route to go to more places.

If you’re worried about the car seat just use a carry cot car seat, it also means you don’t have to take a seperate pram attachment.

Our daughter is adopted, but we had to do twice a week trips that were four hours each way, we just had a lay flat carry cot car seat, stopped halfway for a feed, change etc and it was fine. We would have the names of other places to stop if we needed to stop elsewhere so we weren’t searching maps for one.

Oh the idea of going anywhere with a newborn just feels me with dread. Probably doesn’t help that both of mine had terrible colic & I certainly wasn’t anywhere near recovered by 6/8 weeks. But everyone is different. I’ve known people who went to galleries/cinemas & had coffee with friends when theirs were so little. It’s potluck to be honest. So definitely have a backup plan.

We went on a 3 hour journey on holiday when I had a 6 week old. He was my first and it was perfectly doable. We had a lovely time!

Was straightforward birth though.

What a stupid comment.

We travelled on and off from the week after our child was born

I'd only make plans you could cancel, i.e. refundable accommodation. Or book non-refundable but accept you may not feel up to going. Our baby will be between 8-10 weeks at Christmas and we're not making any plans. If you haven't already got a car seat, look at the ones that lie flat as it allows baby to be in it for longer.

Babies at that age sleep loads! So much easier taking a newborn out than a toddler that’s just learnt to walk.

Get yourself a baby carrier for out and about it’ll be fine…

Play it by ear, book something with free cancellation and see how you feel at the time. Good luck 😊

We travelled to my parents when DS1 was 2 weeks old stayed 8 days and drove back. It was 3.5hrs but with the required hourly stops it took up over 5 hours.
Just one of those things we did. Was tough but managed it.