Am I mad to consider this with a newborn?

[Planningatrip]

We’re wondering if it’s going to be feasible to go up to Scotland to see family this Christmas, and make a little weekend out of it perhaps and potter round the Christmas markets. If we did this we would be staying in a hotel/AirBnb for 2 or 3 nights and so would need to drive up in order to fit our pram and travel cot in. It’s a 3 hour drive, so we’d obviously have to stop several times.

Our baby could be anywhere between 5 and 8 weeks old, depending on when she’s born.

Naively I’m thinking this could actually be the easiest age. Yes we’ll be tired, but we’ll be tired wherever we are. Planning on breastfeeding so hopefully shouldn’t have to worry about bottles and the likes.

AIBU to think about it? Do I need a reality check?

So many factors that it’s impossible to know. It may be absolutely fine or it may be a disaster!

i’d maybe book somewhere where i can cancel last minute if not up to it.

I really struggled to recover from both my sections and was still uncomfortable at a few weeks postpartum. DD was a mega fussy baby and it would have been unbearable. DS was a really easy chilled baby and he would have been fine.

It depends what your baby is like. Mine wanted to breastfeed every hour and took a while to feed so it was very difficult to actually get out and then once out have to find somewhere to sit and feed. Along with all the nappy changes and change of clothes ( he was sick after every feed). That’s just my experience.. every baby is different. I’d go with somewhere you can cancel without losing your money.

We had to visit family when DS was 4 weeks old and it was honestly fine in terms of the car journey. I sat in the back and we had plenty of breaks. But DS is an easy baby who slept a lot.

I would consider your plans for feeding. I didn’t breastfeed but was pumping at that point and it was awkward to keep excusing myself to pump when staying with relatives as well as storing milk in their fridge etc. If you’re planning to breastfeed you may still be establishing feeding at that stage and want to be at home with privacy.

Is there any way you can book somewhere that you can then cancel if you don’t feel up to it?

If it is something you want to do, then do it. I've travelled with my DC from similar ages and I was fine. Just make sure your comfortable, especially if you end up having a c section or tear. Lots of pillows and comfort breaks. However I am someone who liked to be up and about fairly quickly after giving birth.

As others have posted, booked something you can cancel just incase but hopefully everything goes well for you.

I’d do it! Baby no.2 due just after you and we’ll be getting on with Christmas plans as normal (all being well of course), including a wedding with our then 4 week old. With baby no.1 I loved getting away/out and about in the first few months and I’d had a c section which I found didn’t really restrict me. It’s not for everybody but I hate being stuck at home!

Having travelled with DS at all ages I personally feel it’s gotten a bit harder with age (mostly the journey/travel itself) but I love getting away with them.

It totally depends. Our first is 9 weeks now, and I'd have been fine to have done this anytime in the last month. Other people with different birth experiences or different babies wouldn't have fancied it.

Agree with PP', if you can book something cancellable then do it and hope for the best.

God yeah sounds absolutely more than doable. Driving is perfect as means you can take everything you need with you. Stop when you want. 3 hours isn’t too bad. When my first born was about that age I drove 2 hours by myself with him screaming the whole way. That wasn’t ideal as had to stop all the time and no other adult to sit in the back to try and calm him on the go. But even that was non-scarring. We did move house when he was 7 weeks old to be fair though so maybe we have a high daunt-tolerance 😄

Sounds like a lovely trip!

I traveled 2 hours by car to see family over Christmas when my daughter was 4 weeks old. She slept the whole way it was brilliant. We had a magical time and have some lovely memories.

I did a week away from home (3 hour drive) with 6 week old and it was fine. It was with family though so we had extra help.

When my eldest was a similar age we had to decline a wedding that was a 2 hour drive each way as it wouldn't been too much.

You say 'yes we'll be tired' but you've got no idea HOW tired. It's indescribable.

How long would the car journey be? I wasn't allowed to do long trips until 6 weeks due to ragged membranes as a result of the birth so even taking the baby out of the equation the journey itself would've been a problem for me.

Will you have a washing machine? Babies poo and wee on everything, I was doing 2-3 loads a day in the early weeks which in itself was exhausting.

At 5-8 weeks I was doing the odd local restaurant trip so I'm not trying to say it was all doom and gloom! Or I could manage a nice little walk. But even those little trips the amount of organisation that goes into them is insane, it's a lot more than you'd imagine.

So not impossible but it would be a lot of extra work and probably not enjoyable (sorry!).

For context I had 2 straight forward births and babies.

I would not have been able to do this. At the age range you are speaking of, we had only been out of hospital for a few weeks due to complications, i was still bleeding heavily, leaking milk, trying to establish bf and we were having millions of appointments with HCPs. Plus i think at that age, babies can only be in a car seat for 45mins without a break? So its a lot of stops. I couldnt imagine anything worse than not being in my own bed.

But i know people for whom it would be perfectly possible.

I think if you want to attempt it, you need to make sure everything you book is fully refundable so you cancel last minute if you dont feel up to it.

I wouldn’t have enjoyed a three hour drive, staying in paid for accommodation or outings to markets at that point in recovery from birth (C sections, no complications) and early parenting. I have friends that might have though!

The most sensible comment I've ever seen on MN, especially the last sentence! The MN martyrdom surrounding babies is staggering and a three hour drive is not very long. Plan to go but be prepared to make changes of things don't go smoothly.

I wouldn't have wanted to do that with any of mine when they were 5 weeks old - can't imagine walking through big crowds at markets with a baby of that age, never knowing when they'd need fed, changed or if they'd have a sudden meltdown. Nevermind all the accoutrements that would need to be taken and being in an airbnb with leaking breasts and bodily fluids would be stressful. Also, not having a washing machine

I would have done this after my csection birth 👍🏻

Wouldn't have been able to do it with my first but with my second we had to go abroad at 6 weeks post birth so long car journey plus plane ride also staying in an unfamiliar place etc it was fine. Depends on the baby I think?

Where do you live? I actually think if a straightforward train journey with no changes I would get DH to drive and I would follow on the train with baby in first class (if not too expensive).

I’d definitely do this but I would not in a million years drive. Take the pram on the train and get accommodation that has a travel cot. Will be so much easier being able to cuddle and feed the baby, eat, have cups of tea, change a nappy when needed and not have to safety stop every 30 mins.

As above id book with a good cancellation policy in case you have a difficult birth or recovery.

Our twins were most portable and easiest at this age. Only when they reached about 3 months did these types of things become ghastly. They simply slept all the time. No one can tell you how your individual baby would react to that length of car journey however – some babies just scream and scream and scream when not permanently attached to their caregiver.

Thanks, will look at train. Never thought it might be easier but I can see why

Sounds nice! I would also suggest getting an Airbnb that can be cancelled easily just in case but otherwise it sounds like a pleasant and very doable trip.
With my first I had episiotomy and DD had a tongue tie so breastfeeding took a while to be comfortable and I started feeling more like myself around the 2 month mark, but with my second I was planning trips and feeling amazing already when she was 3 weeks old. It all depends on the birth and the baby too

It’s possible. But you probably won’t want to.

C section
post partum bleeding
sore boobs
regular stopping
cruing baby
no thanks