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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend is fuming that I’m not going to her bottomless brunch

111 replies

pingupenguin1 · 05/08/2024 19:44

My friend is having a bottomless brunch in a few weeks time. It’s from 12pm until about 2.

I am really struggling with money at the moment, and she knows that. I’m also not drinking much alcohol at the moment - barely any.
It would be £45 for the brunch, which I just can’t justify, especially as I’m barely drinking! I’d just be paying for a sandwich essentially.

I told her this, and I said I’m really sorry. They are continuing in town afterwards, so I said I’d meet them out at 2pm so that I can still go and be part of it.

She initially didn’t reply and then told me she was fuming and that “she would pay anything to spend my birthday with me”.

Am I the bad friend here?

OP posts:
pollymere · 06/08/2024 18:39

Loonaandalf · 05/08/2024 22:29

when you do bottomless brunch usually there’s a non alcohol version and is usually cheaper

Please share where! I'm desperate for one of those!

Jack80 · 06/08/2024 18:46

Check to see if the place just offers food and get a soft drink and you can go home when you want.

NonsuchCastle · 06/08/2024 21:22

No, you are not a bad friend. She is. She is being manipulative and utterly selfish. If she would "pay anything" to spend your birthday with you, then she should pay for you. That's what a friend would do. What a cow.

NonsuchCastle · 06/08/2024 21:24

wheretoyougonow · 05/08/2024 20:01

“she would pay anything to spend my birthday with me”.

Perfect. Ask her for £45 as an early birthday present to you and she can get what's she wants 😂😂
Seriously- no actual grown up acts like this. Not sure she is a friend.

Perfect.

LaDamaDeElche · 06/08/2024 21:29

Wtf is a bottomless brunch? I've not lived in the U.K. since they became a thing, but I thought the food part would include more than a sandwich! Is it basically just two hours to neck as much booze as you can? A bottle of wine is going to take you more than two hours to drink so surely this a a false economy if you only get a sandwich with it??

rookiemere · 07/08/2024 08:52

LaDamaDeElche · 06/08/2024 21:29

Wtf is a bottomless brunch? I've not lived in the U.K. since they became a thing, but I thought the food part would include more than a sandwich! Is it basically just two hours to neck as much booze as you can? A bottle of wine is going to take you more than two hours to drink so surely this a a false economy if you only get a sandwich with it??

I was very disappointed as when I heard about bottomless brunches I thought the food was unlimited. But I believe you just pick one breakfast item and it's the alcohol only that is bottomless.

Longma · 07/08/2024 09:04

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

Longma · 07/08/2024 09:06

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

Anywherebuthere · 07/08/2024 09:11

You did the right thing
Always live within your means if you can.

Nothing cheeky about offering a compromise and meeting later either. She can take it or leave it. She's an adult and as a friend she should understand not everyone is in the same financial position and even if they are everyone has a choice on what they would prefer to spend their money on.

£45 on a sandwhich for a birthday is silly

BabySnarkDoDoo · 07/08/2024 09:11

YANBU. Does she need you to go for the brunch to make up the numbers, eg it's £45 a head but only if you bring 8 people and you would be the 8th person? Otherwise, I can't see why she's this bothered about you skipping the brunch showing up for afternoon drinks.

DiscoBeat · 07/08/2024 09:19

The words 'friend' and 'fuming' in the same sentence should be reserved for extreme occasions such as husband theft. This sort of situation screams 'drama queen' to me!

tigger1001 · 07/08/2024 11:17

You are definitely not being unreasonable. She is being a selfish so called friend.

I wouldn't be going to either, and wouldn't be inviting her to any plans you have for your own birthday.

BettyBardMacDonald · 07/08/2024 11:25

Not much of a friend.
I would not waste my precious leisure time showing up after lunch.

PassingStranger · 07/08/2024 11:30

Tell her to pay for you, if she wants you to go that much.

OpizpuHeuvHiyo · 07/08/2024 11:48

rookiemere · 07/08/2024 08:52

I was very disappointed as when I heard about bottomless brunches I thought the food was unlimited. But I believe you just pick one breakfast item and it's the alcohol only that is bottomless.

Show quote history

And rather cheap nasty alcohol that would make you very sick if you tried to actually consume your money's worth.

CutthroatDruTheViolent · 07/08/2024 12:31

Lifestooshort71 · 05/08/2024 19:47

I think it's OK to say you can't afford it (a lot of money for a couple of hours) but a bit cheeky to add that you're up for the fun bit later - perhaps she's got the hump about that as well?

Why? Why are you separating the two events as fun/not fun? OP clearly means she can just more easily control her spends during a pub crawl of bopping rounds the shops or whatever.

Nipsmum · 07/08/2024 13:59

I am sorry I wouldn't have friends? Like that.
If you can't or don't want to go, you need to think about that friendship.
Don't be bullied by a so called friend.

Flumpie59 · 07/08/2024 14:18

This ''friend'' sounds like she should put away her play dough and grow up! She knows you can't really afford a whopping £45.00 for basically just a sandwich and she knows you hardly drink, you can still have a good time on soft drinks!

All that just for 2 hours? Nope! I wouldn't bother going at all!

J3nnyFromTheBlock · 09/08/2024 16:32

Lifestooshort71 · 05/08/2024 19:47

I think it's OK to say you can't afford it (a lot of money for a couple of hours) but a bit cheeky to add that you're up for the fun bit later - perhaps she's got the hump about that as well?

Why is it?

BrendaSmall · 09/08/2024 16:49

All the bottomless brunches I’ve been on has always been good value for money!
it usually involves having a cocktail every half hour and a decent meal
so even if you were to go and have food and a couple of drinks, you won’t be looking at spending much less, soft drinks are around the same price as alcohol in most places where I live

JLM1981 · 09/08/2024 16:52

Demonhunter · 05/08/2024 20:21

It's not cheeky. She is willing to go out after, where drinking soft drinks would cost no where near £45 so it's a very reasonable compromise.

Show quote history

This. Good compromise.

Onehotday · 09/08/2024 17:00

How dare you ruin her Instagram perfect birthday!!

Wheredidileavemycarkeys · 09/08/2024 17:03

She needs to grow up

Welshmonster · 09/08/2024 18:29

Speak to the restaurant as they may offer a cheaper alternative. Some religions don’t drink but would still go and celebrate.

tell your friend that you are struggling right now as a good friend would want to help

ButterCrackers · 09/08/2024 18:31

If she’s not happy with you meeting them afterwards then just don’t bother with this person anymore.