To forgive him and try again

[Mumof3MasterofNone]

I’ll try and keep this short.

Met a guy through a mutual hobby, we dated for 3 months (Nov-Feb). It was a whirlwind. Deep, intense. We both said we loved each other (him first)
I was so happy. I’d been in an unhappy marriage for 20 years prior. This was like finally finding true love.
In Feb something changed, I raised it with him and to my shock he ended it and said he didn’t feel the same anymore. I was beyond devastated. Had to have time off work etc

A week later he hooked up with someone else from our shared hobby and they spent 3 months together, all lovey dovey over social media. It was excruciatingly painful. I continued going to the hobby as I refused to lose out even though it hurt me mentally every time.

fast forward to 2 months ago, he stops ne outside the hobby and declares that he made a huge mistake, he’s ended it with her and is very very sorry. A week of long chats and airing everything I decided to try again. I love the bones of him and I missed him. He has been very honest with me even though it wasn’t nice to hear. He got cold feet as our relationship was intense and moving fast. She was a distraction/rebound. I know, I know.

We’ve been dating for 2 months. I love him, he says he loves me and he’s always ok with me airing my concerns about what happened.

But, I’m still struggling, I can’t shake the thought in the back of my mind that he’ll up and leave again. I’m a confident person, I value myself and what I bring to a relationship but I feel like this has left me with a huge scar. I’m constantly overthinking his words and actions like I’m just waiting for it to happen again. I don’t want to be like this, I made a choice to try again but the reality is hard.

AIBU to think I can move on from this with him?

Why are you posting them? You know what's going to happen, but you obviously don't think you're worth more than that. I hope that changes, and you realise.

He's not your best friend at all. He has shown you his true self by his actions, words are meaningless. He'll have his head turned again, clearly he wants to have his cake and eat it.

I certainly don't do mad things for love, I wouldn't put myself through that!

He'll do it again when you're even more invested.

Wondering when it is going to happen will give you anxiety.

I'd move on now, if I were you.

I hope your username doesn't mean there are 3 children involved in this car crash? 😯

Ffs, op. You barely know him. How can you 'love the bones of him' when he has been such a shit??

Far too much too soon.
You had to have time off work after he dumped you?? Woah.

I'd do the Freedom Programme, so you can spot bullshit in future.

And dump him - before he dumps you again.

Maybe in about 6 years the memory will fade

And another thing you say you love his bones - well just crack on and enjoy it all. In the worst case scenario he might dump you again but at least you went along for the ride

Aye because all the best love stories in history started with the man dumping the woman to go shag someone else. I bet all the lines he's feeding you he fed to her too. He 100% told her he loved her. He probably meant it as much as he means it with you too. You're delulu if you think this is love. You don't even know him, no way in 3 months has he shown you his real self, three months is probably just the longest he can keep his mask on. People who run at the first sign of things getting hard, or intense, or god forbid serious are not people to make long term relationships with.

But it's clear you've got your heart set on being broken again so... See you back here in a month when he's on to the next one!

So can I ask why you posted?

This ,plus your mind is in turmoil with the continuing questions and fears.
You deserve peace of mind

There are some things you don't forgive.

He's a yo-yo..cut the string and say goodbye.