To think that men shouldn’t be in female changing rooms?

[Picoloangel]

I have a DD who is almost 13. Twice now in H and M we have been in the changing rooms in a branch in London and men have been in the changing rooms waiting for their girlfriends to try on clothes. I don’t mean outside I mean actually in the changing room sitting on a bench.

I am not sure when this became a thing but it makes me really uncomfortable to think that my young DD is in there in a state of undress with men sitting outside. Today she was trying on a swimsuit - the cubicle wasn’t big enough for both of us so she would have had to walk out to show me in full view of an adult male. She didn’t as she didn’t like it but that’s not the point. I know she’ll be in a swimsuit on holiday but this felt different.

The cubicles have these half doors so in theory someone could look over the door. Am I being a pearl clutcher or is this weird? It worries me now that she is starting to go shopping on her own.

We like to hoik our boobs up, look at our arses and generally umm and ahh either alone, with mums, or friends. We don't want to be doing it with the male gaze on us - there's so few places we can relax and not worry about men! And as for men 'just waiting for their wives' well they are still men - let them wait outside like my dh does and like I do for him

Recently my 12 year son tried clothes on in Next and M&S I was told I had to wait outside in both stores, not outside the cubicle door but literally outside the changing rooms altogether. Son had to keep coming out and showing me if they fitted which he was embarrassed doing. I did ask for mixed changing rooms but there wasn’t any and he wasn’t allowed in the women’s to try on items!
Yet I went in New look and counted 4 men sitting on stools in the changing area outside cubicle curtains waiting for their partners! Crazy!

A man was in top shop changing room in Leeds a few years ago and I stood in Fri t of him and blocked his 'view' of the curtain gaps. When he leant to one side to look round me I dramatically opened my coat in a 'batmans cape' motion. He left then and waited outside for me to leave. I discussed it with the staff and they were furious but unable to say anything.
He was not with any female, just a man, in the chafing room perving.

The women asking 'so what' ate ignorant of the nature of male paraphiliac behaviours and how dangerous they can be for women and girls.

What's the problem? Have a read of what happens to the sexual offence rate when men are in changing rooms.

https://womanmeanssomething.com/targetstudy/

Yes this!

But the worst one for me was M&S where there were two teen boys looking after the women’s changing room. I felt so uncomfortable.

There was a young guy on changing room duty but he was keeping very pointedly out of the way!

If there's a man in the women's changing room, then he's revealed himself as having no respect for the privacy of the women who are taking their clothes off, and therefore definitely not suitable to be in there in the first place. I don't give a shit if he's with his girlfriend, how is that relevant? It's a man in the WOMEN'S changing room

I’m going to take this up with H and M. I haven’t seen this anywhere else.

Some men only care about women’s issues if you refer to their daughters. They then get that because their “property” being affected is an affront to their manhood.

I don’t think it’s new. I worked at Topshop years ago, and so many men used to do / try to do this. We used to try to ask them to wait outside, but very few listened. We even had a couple of women complain that we’d asked their partners not to come in.

There has always been (very bored) men sitting around changing cubicles. This isn't a new thing.

This isn’t around changing rooms; it’s inside female only changing rooms.

If you are worried that an adult male would have been her in a bathing suit should she have chosen to step out and show you… where was likely to wear the bathing suit? A pool? a beach? Waterpark? Places where adults males could also see her?

It is. I have only ever seen them outside.

A changing room is an intimate setting
and the man would be at relatively close quarters. The young girl would be trying on the bathing suit and could be too tight, or or not fitting right, and she could feel the man was staring. There would also most likely be other women who are not the man’s wife or girlfriend in the changing room not liking him being there either.

Context matters. Somehow there is a difference between a man watching you three feet away in a changing room, and being somewhere on the beach in a crowd of similarly scantily dressed people.

Mmm. Of course men shouldn’t make women feel uncomfortable or be allowed in women’s spaces, BUT in my case my DH is an amazing shopper and I’m dreadful at it, so I always want to show him. I don’t go shopping with my girl friends and I don’t have a mum. I absolutely hate having to abandon my cubicle and pad past the changing room attendant in socks and then put into the shop in, say, a swimsuit. The ideal is a waiting area out of sight of cubicles but also not in the middle of a shop. Our local M&S has that set up but some only have seats in the changing room.

Incidentally I’ve just said this to my DH and he says he wouldn’t dream of going into a women’s changing room!

Yeah, but your comfort shouldn't come above other women's comfort.

No, they should wait outside. Ridiculous. I'm surprised they're not embarrassed coming in.

You probably just try on a new bra on the shop floor, don't you? After all, what's the issue?

Yes, what could possibly happen? 🤔

https://reduxx.info/women-call-for-primark-boycott-following-latest-gender-neutral-changing-room-violation/

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/men-filmed-people-swimming-pools-changing-rooms-bathrooms-police-b1154508.html

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-65090161

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-62616681

But they are unisex or "gender neutral" if you prefer.

H and m, new look, m and s, Topshop, all of them are now gender neutral.

There used to be single sex changing rooms, sadly no longer.

I boycott m and s and have since 2018 or 2017 I forget. I dont shop in the others.