do you and DH share your locations on your phones?

[buggeroo]

just curious really. DH and I have never done this, and I wondered if that is the norm?

Yes, we have life 360 and 12 year old DD is also on it.

@behindthemall you think he works until a certain time, but you make sure he is by tracking him.

Lack of trust I think.

Don't have a DH or DP but I've never tracked my daughter, nor she me.

I'll tell her where I am in a text with an approximate travel time but that's it. She's 17 and tells me when she's on her way home.

I mean she's gay so let's not be heteronormative about this.

It's dumb because there is a difference between consenting adults in a non abusive relationship deciding together they would find it useful, and one partner insisting on it. If my DH insisted on it I would have told him to fuck off. If my DD had a partner who insisted on it I'd tell her to dump the woman pronto. I'm not sure why you think it's a big gotcha question.

Like so much in life, it's not a black and white issue.

We do. I travel a lot for work, so when I'm travelling, my OH knows if I'm still on the road. More than happy if it keeps minds at rest that I'm ok.

When not travelling, we never look at it, as there isn't any point.

Yes.

You have to agree to share your location so my dd will have consented. It might blow some of your minds but a big reason why I share my location with others like dh is I trust them to know my location. If I did not trust dh, I would not share.

If someone is forcing dd to share her location, that is a very different issue (maybe some of you are paranoid for other reasons) but the problem is not the app but the boyfriend.

It is, because you can use it while also not thinking it's normal. You just have conversations about the pros and cons.

How do you know he doesn't look at it?

We do. DH and I can see where each other is.

we used to track the DCs but they are young adults now so we no longer can see where they are. They can see where I am though. Doesn’t bother me all.

i think it’s very different sharing location in a stable 30 year relationship to a new boyfriend insisting on it. For us it’s really handy.

No, and we never have. I’m on Apple & he’s on Android so I don’t even know if it’s possible. Even if it is, I don’t feel any need to spy on him, nor he on me. It’s called ‘trust’.

So what if he does? Is something sinister going on?

I think it says more about your perception of a trusting relationship.

The other day he left work early and went to the pub. I had no idea until he told me when he got home. I’ve got my own job and life and don’t sit and watch his location.

If he’d been late home, I might have checked and seen he was at the pub and then known it was unlikely he’d been in a crash so no need to worry or expect him home until later.

I would genuinely have no idea if one day he left work at lunch to come home (and in your mind catch me with OM). Even though I can see his location it’d be a hell of a coincidence on the one day he came home early I happened to pick up my phone at the right time to check and notice it…

I could equally say you don't 'trust' your dh enough to share your location with him.

Cuts both ways.

No, I usually know where he is and if he’s popped into town for a haircut or dentist etc. it’s totally fine

Why does he need to know if you’re still on the road?

Could you not just text him to say you’ve arrived?

If he’s worried then he can always text or ring you instead.

I don’t understand how ‘knowing you are still on the road’ or not keeps his mind at rest.

Do you check up on his location whenever he is out driving to the supermarket?

We have it and I used it to find the taxi he left his phone in once which was really useful. It’s only really for emergencies - he cycles in traffic and I often run and hike alone. It’s good to know we would have a last known location if either of us went missing (accident or injury). Dh once did go missing in the hills as the friend he was with had a heart attack.

We do, bit of a non issue. Use it more to see when to put on dinner etc
No trust issues.

Whatever works for each couple / family.

Yes we do and nothing to do with trust or lack of. I run regularly and DH feels better having it so if there is an issue he can know where I am
It's also super useful to know when to put tea on.

@behindthemall what makes you think you've got to do your "jobs" prior to DH getting home, what's the consequence if you don't?

So you're constantly checking when he leaves work, to ensure he's not angered on his return home?

Sounds awful, but if it keeps you safe, maybe worthwhile.

Not if both parties consent.

Never even come up, neither of us ever go anywhere anyway it would be the worlds most boring tracker

@CurbsideProphet Most lone workers who work in the Community have a system in place where they check in with their employer/base before they enter a property then check out again when they leave. Unless they are self employed and have noone other than their other half to check in with then there's no need to be tracked by them.

How do you know he doesn't look at it?

I am the he in this.

More than comfortable if it is looked at, if I'm not home. Some would say I lead an unexciting life, but it works well for me.

He’d probably tut and me and roll his eyes. He might be reasonably miffed I’d not done what I said I would, as should any person in a healthy relationship. But it’s not impossible that I’ve said I’d unload the dishwasher while he was out, forgot and then remembered at the last minute and thought - should I rush before he gets home so I’ve kept my word or see he’s nearly here and think it can wait until later on instead.