If you were about to be poor, what would you spend your money on now?

[TargetPractice11]

To make life easier when your income drops?

We have some savings that can be spent on things that will save money in the long run get term.

I've just bought a slow cooker, for example. And I'm thinking about getting our windows upgraded to save on bills.

I can only speak for our experience, but it has transformed the way we deal with money and saved us money overall so we see it as an investment and our usage originally came from a MN recommendation.

There are loads of YNAB support videos on YouTube which anyone can access and it's possible to do the same stuff yourself with a bit more effort if you're good with spreadsheets.

Seriously! You sound incredibly passive @TargetPractice11

Aren’t you raging that you and your children will suffer because he can’t be bothered to fill in a form and doesn’t fancy doing a better paid full time job?

You'll be separated by Christmas unless he faces up to his financial responsibilities.

They are wonderful. I so miss our chickens.

Takes just a few minutes to hang out a load of nappies and then bring in. Or on a clothes horse,

@TargetPractice11
If I were in your position I wouldn't be spending big amounts of money to 'save' money. I would only be spending money on what was absolutely necessary and trying to save where I can.
If your DH refuses to claim what he is owed from his previous employer then he is being stupid and feckless. You can write a letter and get him to sign it. I would be absolutely livid with his attitude**

I've read every post on here and feel well qualified to comment.

Firstly - think about yourself and what you need. My useless Ex basically wandered into debt and was pretty passive about it. He was a low earner and although a sweet guy was honestly just useless when things got tough.

Don't get chickens. They are animals that require an outlay and attention. Feed costs money and if you get rodents/red mite it's a right pita that you do not need. Nobody needs that many eggs. Yes I had them and they were gorgeous but not going to save us much money.

We have solar panels. Don't bother. Pigeons bloody nest on them and they are a fucking pain. Ours came with the house and yes they save on bills but like other people have said it takes years to recoup the cost and see a saving.

Yes to heated airer and dehumidifier. Personally I'd alternate cloth nappies and disposable to make it more manageable.

Air fryers and slow cookers are good, but again they don't make a significant change unless you were previously shopping at Harrods and cooking each chicken breast individually.

Freezers are good but stuff gets lost and forgotten. There is a mental load here around shopping, batch cooking and then defrosting. I wouldn't have another chest freezer but I would get one with drawers.

Finally decreasing outgoings only does so much. Increasing income will be the key here.

Also - the way your DH seems to be so passive and useless will really get to you.

I remember selling a load of clothes on EBay and my ex came home with an Adele CD he'd bought at a service station. It just highlighted how we were not on the same page about budgeting and spending.

Oh and yes we had YNAB but I just do a spreadsheet now so no cost there.

Good luck.

Do you already have a fridge freezer? That allows you to batch cook but MN is funny about fridge freezers.

I don't think I know anyone who doesn't have one and we're all far less affluent than the MN typical demographic.

But if you don't need to restrict capital for benefits purposes I'd just save your money and also do the Moneysavingexpert money makeover and check your mindset about money and spending.

Maximise your income
Question and minimise every expense

I’ve never seen anyone on MN be funny about fridge freezers 😁. Who doesn’t own a freezer??

Who doesn’t own a freezer? Exactly.

But you can't suggest on here that someone batch cooks to avoid waste or make their grocery budget go further because of the whataboutery about it being unreasonable to assume that just about everyone has access to a freezer.

Er, air fryers and slow cookers save a lot more than £2 a year. Have you got a smart meter ? Have a look at it while your oven is heating up, or even boiling the kettle. Slow cookers and air fryers pay for themselves several times over during the course of a year.

All of this is excellent advice.

Warm, waterproof coats and shoes for everyone. Uniform and shoes in the next size up for the kids. Warm duvets.

Given that things always go up in price, and generally the inflation is more than you get on an instant access savings account, I would do the following:

• Have a few hundred, not more than a thousand, in instant access for real emergencies like car repairs or washing machine breaking.

• Buy stuff that: a) you have room to store, b) will keep and not spoil, c) is essentials and not luxuries, and d) you are absolutely certain you will use. Even better if they are things that are pricey anyway.

So you could buy 10 tooth brushes and some toothpastes, a couple of spares of your hand cream and/or face cream, small-sized Christmas presents, some year-round clothes for the children in several sizes, plenty of tights or socks for yourself if your drawer has room, and boots for next winter if yours are looking worn out, as your feet won't change size.

Be wary of doing anything that will mean you have to change your routines in a significant way, as you don't need the stress right now. So don't buy stuff to change your cooking or meal-prep or laundry routines unless you are absolutely sure you want to.

Ensure your kitchen cupboard for tins and packets is full - check that use-by dates are at least two years ahead before buying. And of course you must rotate, so always put new shopping at the back, bringing older stuff forward.

Not loo-rolls as they take up too much valuable storage space. No tins of baked beans as they are so cheap you won't be saving much and can always get them - keep the cupboard space for more expensive things.

Be wary of buying seasonal children's clothes too far in advance, as they may grow too quickly or slowly and you miss the season for them to be worn.

I've read all of your updates OP and I'm really concerned for you.

You say that your DH hasn't got MH problems but you've also said he can only manage to work in a lower level job for less hours. Why is that? If he's not willing to have Counselling would he look for and engage with a Life Coach?

Like I said before you need him up and working as soon as possible.

You also need a plan from him on what the next year to 5 years is going to look like.

You're also taking on extra work and the burden of all of the financial decisions. Please don't underestimate the toll that this is going to have in you if you do this long term.

If I was you I would look at recovering the debt. It's not good enough that DH says he's not willing to chase the debe when he has a family and you'll be out working 2 jobs.

He's either not telling you something or is just abdicating all adult responsibilities.

Have a look at Statutory Demands. I'd ask in the legal section first though on the best way to recover the debt.

You say that you don't want marital problems on top of everything else but I think you're already there unfortunately

I'm not sure I'd be getting the windows replaced OP unless they're actually falling apart. I remember reading about how getting the payback on double glazing takes on average about 20 years!!!

Er, air fryers and slow cookers save a lot more than £2 a year. Have you got a smart meter ? Have a look at it while your oven is heating up, or even boiling the kettle. Slow cookers and air fryers pay for themselves several times over during the course of a year.

That depends entirely on what you cook and how much you are spending on them. Lots of people barely use their oven. We kept pans in ours growing up, I’m not even sure if it worked. If you are eating slow cooked meals 5 nights a week, and were previously cooking them all in the oven for hours and you bought your slow cooker for £20 from the middle of Lidl or got one from marketplace then you will save more than if you buy one from John Lewis for £300 and use it 4 times a year to make some fudge that you could have done without. You could spend £600 on a slow cooker and air fryer if you wanted to. Not everyone is eating stews or baked/roasted stuff and people who are, who have previously been comfortable, high earners, will probably already have the gear. There is no point at all in spending money you don’t have on equipment you won’t use for food you never normally eat. It does not save money, and certainly not the sort of money that someone who is paying 50% of their take home into their mortgage needs.

I am worried he's not telling me something. It makes no sense to just accept not being paid. It's not difficult to pursue it.

He says it's too hard because he knows all the owners personally and the company doesn't have the money so they might lose their houses etc.

But the owners know him personally and had no qualms about him losing money. I don't see why our family should be in financial difficulties to save other, richer families from the same fate.

I'm thinking slow cooker for batch cooking cheaper cuts of meat. I'm vegetarian but my family eat meat.

Being able to freeze meals that are ready to go during the week, will avoid last minute spending on random things to pull off dinner. Also less mental load if I know we have dinners ready to go

If your DH isn’t mentally unwell, surely he understands that he can’t do this?

That if he accepts this job that is less well paid and PT hours, he needs to fill up the shortfall with another job? He can’t expect you to do it?

Even if he didn’t initially realise, because he didn’t understand your expenses, or how big your mortgage is…

This is a recipe for disaster.

I am a bit confused as to why you have to have a full time and night job, whilst he gets a part time backwards job- why can't he be the one with the second night job?

As others have said, it's all very well trying to not spend money, however, all efforts should be focused on getting your household income up.

What jobs do you and your DH do / used to do? Which area do you live in?

The hours that your DH no longer works could be put to use at home, ie with laundry, cleaning etc. We were in a similar situation, DH’s self employed income stopped when his health plummeted, and he could no longer work. I became the only earner, and we used savings and cleared part of our mortgage, and our credit cards to lower our monthly outgoings.

He needed surgery, and a long recuperation, and was never able to earn a great deal afterwards. However, he picked up stuff at home, and that made a huge difference as my full-time job was quite tough. If it happened today, I’d also put a bit into my gas/electric account, to help with expensive winter months.

I am worried he's not telling me something. It makes no sense to just accept not being paid. It's not difficult to pursue it.

He says it's too hard because he knows all the owners personally and the company doesn't have the money so they might lose their houses etc.

But the owners know him personally and had no qualms about him losing money. I don't see why our family should be in financial difficulties to save other, richer families from the same fate.

They don't seem particularly worried about the possibility of you losing your home. Has he definitely put the money into their business or do you think something else ciukd be going on like gambling or an addiction?

Air fryer if you don’t have one already. We use the oven maybe once a week now. Get any CC debt reduced or paid off, highest interest first.

Dehumidifier for washing until almost dry then quick blast in the dryer.