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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What DH has moaned at me for this week

103 replies

Broken88 · 02/08/2024 20:32

Dh and I haven't been in a great place for ages. I feel like everything I do annoys him and he moans about everything and then all of a sudden will have a massive blow up, which was yesterday and we've not spoken since.

This week's tellings off that caused an argument consist of:

  • we brought a new water filter and I went to take the top off by pulling at the side. Apparently hat makes me thick because I didn't realise there was an indent which was a handle
-our food shop was delivered and I was rushing between an online exam I had to sit and another call so didn't realise that an item was wrong and just put it in the fridge. Dh came home and went to cook dinner and realised and went mental.

-DH has started a new job (5 weeks in) has come off shifts so now works permanent earlies. I've tried to support him as much as I can even though the change of shift pattern directly affects me and my job. Because I had logged off slightly early yesterday and he theb came home after being at thr gym and cooked dinner, apparently I should have cooked dinner for him

---should point out that he is the main cook, even when he was on shifts he would cook so this isn't unusual and I normally finish later it was only because I had started a bit early that I decided after a rough day to finish early
-all of the above resulted in him calling me a f'ing thick c* and telling me that the stupid things I do (like the water filter) will endanger our children.

However he's so worried about me endangering our children he is perfectly happy to book a holiday with his mates for 6 nights to go on a lads holiday 6 hours away in a few weeks.

For context we have 2 children (9 & 4)

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 02/08/2024 20:34

He sounds a right pita op.

BCBird · 02/08/2024 20:34

He sounds awful. Know your worth. Get rid

talawalawoo · 02/08/2024 20:36

What @BCBird said

TheSerenePinkOrca · 02/08/2024 20:37

@Broken88 your DH should be nominated for prick of the year award.

His behaviour is clearly not acceptable and he should not be insulting you like that.

I'd be telling him you will NOT be spoken to like that and you want him to leave and give you some space.

Ponkpinkpink15 · 02/08/2024 20:38

While he's away, like as he arrives at his destination I'd tell him to ask around to see which mate has the best spare room as you don't want him to come back.

take the week to organise all your ducks!!

he's a wanker & living alone with you DC will be a much happier life for you & them.

VeryQuaintIrene · 02/08/2024 20:38

How dare he speak to you so rudely?

Broken88 · 02/08/2024 20:39

Should also say that when we were talking a out this, apparently the 2 loads of washing and the emptying and loading of the dishwasher I do every day as well as the looking after of the eldest while on school holidays (while working) is not the same amount of work as him coming home and having to cook dinner after he's been in work since 7am.

OP posts:
MorphandMindy · 02/08/2024 20:47

He called you a thick cunt?! 😧

How dare he. He wouldn't get to use that language to me twice.

Time to get your plans made. This isn't healthy for the DC.

LaughingElderberry · 02/08/2024 20:47

Any man with whom I was having a relationship, that referred to me as a thick cunt, would a) never see my cunt again, and b) would be served with divorce papers and told to GTFO.

Lyra87 · 02/08/2024 20:48

That's awful OP. He sounds resentful and is treating you terribly. I couldn't stay if my DH was treating me like that, rough patch or not.

daisychain01 · 02/08/2024 20:51

all of the above resulted in him calling me a f'ing thick c* and telling me that the stupid things I do (like the water filter) will endanger our children.

that would be me gone. Simple as.

no going back from that.

gamerchick · 02/08/2024 20:52

The second my husband called me a cunt would be game over. There's no coming back from that level of contempt OP.

PickAChew · 02/08/2024 20:54

It's hard to pull back from such a level of contempt and nastiness. Make good use of that 6 days without him around.

GertrudeCB · 02/08/2024 20:55

Why the fuck are you still with him? He sounds vile.

Emmylou22 · 02/08/2024 20:59

Wanker

Broken88 · 02/08/2024 21:01

He has a habit of turning everything around and making it all my fault.

I enjoy my job and am very lucky I get to wfh 3 days a week (sometimes 4) but I also take my job seriously. We haven't spoken since yesterday and he tried to call me today when I was on a call, I tried to ring him back 10 minutes later and he wouldn't answer. When I spoke to him later he said I should have come off the call to speak to him as it was another example of me putting my job before him

If I don't put things in the cupboard in the exact order he likes he'll moan.

If I walk into the kitchen and forget to ask everyone if they want a drink, or ask the children and forget him then I'm selfish. However he can go and get what he wants and not ask me and I just have to accept that and get my own

I could go on

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 02/08/2024 21:04

He sounds dissatisfied in the marriage op.

Friendofdennis · 02/08/2024 21:04

He despises you

Kimchie · 02/08/2024 21:04

He sounds like a bully who enjoys putting you down and moaning.
Calling you hike names is completely unacceptable.
Im sorry, I hope you’re ok as you can be.

Dymaxion · 02/08/2024 21:06

He sounds dissatisfied in the marriage op

Is that long hand for absolute twat ?

WallSplash · 02/08/2024 21:06

Why are you staying?

Calliopespa · 02/08/2024 21:08

Dymaxion · 02/08/2024 21:06

He sounds dissatisfied in the marriage op

Is that long hand for absolute twat ?

The two may well overlap!

SmileLady · 02/08/2024 21:11

Hi OP. What are you going to do. It really sounds like your husband has no respect and dislikes you. Hates even.

Has he always been like this?

I don't think I could forgive my DH calling me a c*nt.

Tbskejue · 02/08/2024 21:11

No one should speak to you like that and certainly not the person who is supposed to love and support you

Round3HereWeGo · 02/08/2024 21:12

Why haven't you left? Please tell us you intend to!

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