What DH has moaned at me for this week

[Broken88]

Dh and I haven't been in a great place for ages. I feel like everything I do annoys him and he moans about everything and then all of a sudden will have a massive blow up, which was yesterday and we've not spoken since.

This week's tellings off that caused an argument consist of:

• we brought a new water filter and I went to take the top off by pulling at the side. Apparently hat makes me thick because I didn't realise there was an indent which was a handle

-our food shop was delivered and I was rushing between an online exam I had to sit and another call so didn't realise that an item was wrong and just put it in the fridge. Dh came home and went to cook dinner and realised and went mental.

-DH has started a new job (5 weeks in) has come off shifts so now works permanent earlies. I've tried to support him as much as I can even though the change of shift pattern directly affects me and my job. Because I had logged off slightly early yesterday and he theb came home after being at thr gym and cooked dinner, apparently I should have cooked dinner for him

---should point out that he is the main cook, even when he was on shifts he would cook so this isn't unusual and I normally finish later it was only because I had started a bit early that I decided after a rough day to finish early
-all of the above resulted in him calling me a f'ing thick c* and telling me that the stupid things I do (like the water filter) will endanger our children.

However he's so worried about me endangering our children he is perfectly happy to book a holiday with his mates for 6 nights to go on a lads holiday 6 hours away in a few weeks.

For context we have 2 children (9 & 4)

Is your husband my ex-boyfriend?

“Fucking thick cunt” were his choice words to me, and he sounds like him with other things you’ve said.

Nobody will ever speak to me like that again and get a second chance.

Without a doubt LTB, you are worth so much more and deserve to be treated with respect.

Mates holidays either during school hols or early part of new term are an absolute no from me. Work trips okish, but not lads hols.

Sounds to me like you have a few weeks to 'get your ducks in a row' and get a locksmith booked...

I would have dumped him at Thick Fucking Cunt. But then my bar is high with wankers

If I don't put things in the cupboard in the exact order he likes he'll moan.

Ye gods, have you watched sleeping with the enemy?

Surely you do realise that this isn’t normal and you need to get out?

Get rid, this YOUR life!

Your children will also pick up on his nastiness towards you.

And if you don't get out they may well start copying him and being nasty to you too. They're old enough, especially the 9yo, and the 4yo will copy what s/he hears even if they dont't understand it.

I find these threads so depressing. Posted whilst OP is angry and fired up at the injustice of the abuse they are receiving, then abuser gives a glimmer of hope and things settle down, and OP disappears, before inevitably the cycle starts again. May not be the case here, but it's depressingly common. The sad reality is the sons of these women become abusers, and the daughters become victims

Yep.

Blimey, just LTB!

Definitely do this, hopefully it'll ruin his holiday

No, fuck him. Your kids are of an age you can move on. Do it on your own, you’ll never need to put up with this again.

When I threw such a dh out I cried for 2 weeks. Shock probably that I had actually done it. Then the big black cloud lifted and life became fantastic... Is he dc's df op?
File for divorce as soon as he leaves for his trip..claim any benefits you would be entitled to as a single dm and don't look back.

You didn't really need to come on MN to find out he is an abusive tosser. You knew that. I think your focus needs to be on you. Why are you putting up with it? Why don't you tell him it's over. Is it fear? Something else. You can't change him, you can change how you respond to him.

You're making plans to leave him, yes?

So why are you going on?
If its that shit you need to leave.

Someone shouting at me for how I put the food away in a cupboard? Hell no.

This isn’t just a rough patch in your marriage - it sounds like it’s approaching the end.

He doesn't deserve you. I can't imagine being called such awful things by DP. That's not normal.

He's pobably full of self-loathing, and would treat any partner the way he treats you. Leave him to wallow, then make a good life for yourself elsewhere

If my DH called me a thick cunt I would be out of there. He has zero respect.

Try calling him one and see the response!

LaughingElderberry great reply!

This

Sorry for the radio silence. Busy day with the children at various swimming lessons and activities. Took children alone as DH had a hangover from his night out last night

I have made my decision and will be spending the next few days/weeks gathering paperwork and speaking to citizens advice/solicitors. Today on my own has been bliss and it's made me realise how much I enjoy the time we are apart (ie no shouting)

Bravo @Broken88 🙌

Well done @Broken88
You can start a new, free life.
There may be tough times now and again but you will get through it.

I did it years ago and I was so happy.
It's a good feeling.

Good luck

There’s only one cunt and it’s not you