To think holidays with teens/preteens are just rubbish

[ExtrovertedIntrovert1]

Paid a fortune because it's summer holidays.
UK holiday because they both weren't keen on the idea of abroad and it was too expensive anyway.
Everything is "boring".
Tried visiting towns looking round shops. Boring.
Theme parks? No, boring.
Beach? Pointless
Castles or things of historical interest (Ha, absolutely ridiculously boring)
Museums? Haha
Every time we attempt at outing it's just miserable faces then the oldest will eventually pipe up "can we go back to the caravan".... so we can just sit around, on phones, doodling, etc. Basically stuff they would be doing at home.

I know this is probably within the realms of normal, but it's so pointless and boring. Spent a fortune and time/effort researching things that might be fun to do but it's just a waste of time. I even ended up suggesting that I'll just holiday on my own next year but in reality that won't happen. Does anyone do that? I love holidays, beaches, visiting different places. It's depressing to think holidays won't be fun again until they're old enough to leave at home.

Pointless thread but just needed to vent.
Please don't reply if your preteens/teens just LOVE holidaying and you always have a tonne of fun. I don't want to hear it 😂

I don’t have any advice, but I’m in the same position it’s so fustrating espicially when you’ve spent a lot of money. You’re not alone!

This was us last year but abroad. The only time eldest was happy was pissing about with the local stray kittens. I just left them to it the majority of the time and read in the sun-it did feel like an utter waste of money though.
So this year they have chosen and we're doing a city break abroad, not one complaint had better pass their lips...

Yeah. It's so annoying. A mix of doing stuff and downtime / phone time works. We did a cruise and that was actually pretty good.

Is it because they just want to be on their phones? I had to have words with one of mine this year .. we compromised and agreed we'd have one day of activities without a face on followed by a day of chilling on phones (or in my case with book and wine). He wasn't allowed to moan whilst we were sightseeing and I wouldn't moan about being bored at the caravan. It worked pretty well and I actually was forced to relax a bit and not give into the pressure of doing stuff.

I hear ya!

Next year, send them on camps with teens their age of DoE stuff depending on their age.
You enjoy a holiday with your OH.

My two are 12 and 10. They are happiest in the sea, crabbing, climbing seaside rocks and short boat trips. Oh, and building dams in streams. The heat makes them bad tempered and grumpy to visit stately homes etc. They aren't embarrassed to be seen with us yet but that time will come. Keep it simple while you can.

Haha you've just reminded me what happened the last time we attempted to go abroad. The only thing that raised a smile for my oldest were the stray cats.
Could have literally stayed at home with our cats for free.
Maybe the only way to survive is to just sit and chill and let them do what they want... and forget the attempts at "fun". Just seems such a shame when travelling such a long way doesn't it!

Not a holiday but my 12 year old had a face like thunder yesterday when she was told her grandparents offered to take her on a day out to the safari park. I basically had to plead with her to go so I feel your pain.

Thanks. Sounds like a decent idea. Might try that if we ever bring ourselves to fork out money for a holiday again next year 🙂
I envisioned the crabbing, boat trips, rock pooling etc. nope. One hates sand and feels sick on boats. One feels very strongly about crabs "being plucked from their happy homes for no good reason".. plus it's all pointless, obviously 😂

Yes I agree!

My two were bored stiff in Lanzarote last year on a beach holiday - so trying Paris this year instead.

I long to sit on a lounger by a pool with a cocktail and a good book, but it isn't happening this year as it was a total waste of money.

I am currently in Majorca in tears as my 15yr old DS is being totally uncommunicative and moping around not speaking to us.

I've told DH next year DS can stay at home as I've had enough.

We've both had a really stressful few months and were desperate for a break but we might as well be at home.

I actually looked if we could get a flight home earlier.

Up until a few years ago we had great holidays when the kids were little but it's an uphill battle now so I sympathise!

I posted on here a couple of years ago when on holiday in Greece with my 3 teenage daughters (single mum), though I may have name-changed at the time out of embarrassment
I actually received such good, supportive and empathic advice. The main one was to relax and do my own thing a bit more. If they chose to sleep half the day, fuck it, it's not ideal but it's their holiday too. I would text from the beach and say 'on a sunlounger with my Kindle. Would love you to join me but no worries if not!'
Before posting on Mumsnet, I was in tears at the frustration of what I perceived to be a waste of money. And waiting around for them, etc.
Now don't get me wrong, they were still a pain in the tits much of the time and still can be on holiday. But when I changed my mindset and relaxed into it, it was much better.

Sorry to hear that. I was in tears earlier and put my sunglasses on to hide it 😞
I think we just get so excited about this week or two of fun and it's just not always like that. It's especially hard when it costs so much hard earned money. Hope things get better.

We have had similar.
Our best holiday UK wise was Norfolk Broads on a narrow boat as they loved ‘driving’ the boat themselves, helping with locks and could also chill on deck too (a bit like going back to the caravan but with moving scenery! 😄).

Any boats you can hire near you?

I go on a lot of breaks just me and my daughter (who is 12), and I find her easier to holiday with than most adults, but that's probably because we like similar things. She would be happier with more sitting around/watching TV in the air B'n'B/chilling than I would usually go for, but we compromise - she is happy to sit in a cafe or pub with me and be on her phone (I don't actually drink alcohol, but do like to go out to local pubs etc when away). She will also go round the shops providing I don't insist we do it for hours, and will do a couple of excursions cheerfully enough, even if they aren't things she is massively interested in.

I think a key thing that helps, weirdly, is that I allow her to say if she finds something boring, and I admit it I do too. Sometimes we do educational type things like, I don't know, visit an old mine, but I don't insist she pretends to find the whole thing thrilling! She says when she goes with her dad round a museum or something, he insists they read every word on all the displays, and pretend it is deeply interesting. Which I find funny because when I was with him, before she came along, he NEVER wanted to do stuff like that! But I think he reckons it's how a parent should behave....

And we do stuff like amusement arcades, cinema, mini-golf - she does enjoy all that, and luckily so do I.....

She has always said she has no real interest in traditional beach type holidays abroad - she doesn't like the heat - so I don't even bother. When she is a bit older we might go interrailing or something.....

We used to mostly holiday in uk and we either went with family so their cousins/aunt/uncle they got on with were there too - then with a family where the kids got on and we liked doing the same stuff.
Mine were mostly OK on the beach and /or when others around. It's easier when you can leave them at the accommodation and just go chill or sightseeing on your own.
Holidays with just us were much harder and we only did a couple abroad till sticking with the going with other people plans.

Thankyou. I think this is key isn't it. Just learn to change our expectations. Mine are still quite young (11, 13) so I'm maybe still learning to cope with the shift from fun loving kids who could spend hours splashing in a pool or wandering round a castle, and this new moody era.

Fuck me, my 15 year old was a nightmare in Italy this year
Out of the blue, she decided she didn't like busy places, so went in the hotel pool twice all week. 'Too busy' = 4 people in the pool
And she loved going to the beach. In the goddamned evening, when it was quiet!!
Never again.

But I've still had many holidays where I wanted to come home at least once if not nore often. Only time I NEVER think that is when I'm away with no kids at all!

It’s a phase, IME- they do go back to enjoying things, it just takes a little while. I also think they sometimes act with you as if they’re bored and nothing is going on and then months later they surprise you by remembering lots of details and telling you how much they enjoyed it.

Holiday with no kids at all (or husband!) is the absolute dream. One day 😁

We were fortunate that most family holidays took place before the DC had phones, and even on later teenage ones use of phone abroad was very expensive/restricted.
Maybe next time (if there is a next time) they could be asked to contribute to the planning. Easy enough with internet. Anyone wishing to join the holiday must suggest two places the would like to visit/day trips/outings. Also a lunch venue and one for dinner. If self catering then they could be responsible for shopping/cooking for a couple of meals. Not willing to contribute? No holiday,

Funny you should say this, but I have just booked my first ever solo trip ... at the age of 50!
I'm going to Spain for 5 days in October. I cannot wait. My daughters don't think I'll enjoy it, as I'll miss them too much. Inside I am smirking and thinking 'you deluded fools'.
My parents could never afford to take us on holiday, but I don't remember ever being as moody as mine are.
I honestly wish someone had warned me about how holidays change as they get older, because it honestly pulled the rug from right under me. My fondest holiday memories are from when they were little. I think that's in part because I was still with my ex husband though, and it wasn't only me carrying the mental and emotional load for absolutely everything.

I've found the following are the only things they like:

• Skiing
• As pp mentioned, camp type things with other kids (Outward bound, sports development camps etc)- bonus is you get a free week as they're residential
• Any holiday with other families with teens but that only involve lounging on their phones, swimming and going to places to eat. Occasionally they will agree to stroll around a historic town.... but with the other kids and deffo not with you.
• Festival type things but only if they can go off on their own (so basically need to go with another family).

Um, that's all.