To think holidays with teens/preteens are just rubbish

[ExtrovertedIntrovert1]

Paid a fortune because it's summer holidays.
UK holiday because they both weren't keen on the idea of abroad and it was too expensive anyway.
Everything is "boring".
Tried visiting towns looking round shops. Boring.
Theme parks? No, boring.
Beach? Pointless
Castles or things of historical interest (Ha, absolutely ridiculously boring)
Museums? Haha
Every time we attempt at outing it's just miserable faces then the oldest will eventually pipe up "can we go back to the caravan".... so we can just sit around, on phones, doodling, etc. Basically stuff they would be doing at home.

I know this is probably within the realms of normal, but it's so pointless and boring. Spent a fortune and time/effort researching things that might be fun to do but it's just a waste of time. I even ended up suggesting that I'll just holiday on my own next year but in reality that won't happen. Does anyone do that? I love holidays, beaches, visiting different places. It's depressing to think holidays won't be fun again until they're old enough to leave at home.

Pointless thread but just needed to vent.
Please don't reply if your preteens/teens just LOVE holidaying and you always have a tonne of fun. I don't want to hear it 😂

Nope this is not what I wanted to hear.
Yes of course I know it's rude and they have a poor attitude.
And of course I've told them they're rude and that I don't want to hear it.
And of course I remember being EXACTLY the same when I was a teen!

I should have made clear. This is really just a "miserable parent on a miserable holiday with teen" support thread. And nothing more thankyou.

Unfortunately, phones have ruined pretty much anything.

A difficult age! Even when in Disneyland Florida my dc were stroppy, on their phones a lot.(not all the time tbf).
My eldest still genuinely loves having days sitting by the pool.

At the time I thought we might as well be having a wet week in Wales trudging round NT places.

I also remember being aged about 11 and spending the whole day at the campsite and dad moaning that the day had been wasted. But it was a really good campsite with a pool, a river at the bottom of it, a play area. To me this was great.

That reminds me of a holiday where we did exactly that and we were all so happy.

OP on the plus side, if you're arguing with your teens at least it's a form of open communication. Better that than they stay in silent misery and pretend everything is fine.

I left home and barely spoke to my parents since. I was the model teen, didn't dare complain about anything.

We've had a couple of difficult holidays with the teens (especially our DS) - ruined our first week in Florida tbh with his attitude.

Since then we've re thought holidays a bit and tried a cruise for the first time. This worked pretty well, our eldest (16) was able to go off with friends and we didn't see much of her really and then our DS spent some time in the teen club but was also happy to come out with us for the day when we were in port. He was still grumpy some of the time, but we would leave him in the room to chill out whilst we had a drink or tried out an activity.

I'm not saying he was perfect, but it was a much more pleasant holiday and we just kept it to a week so I think he felt it was more manageable.

Our worst teenage holiday was returning to somewhere they had loved when little! We all had great memories but, of course, things they enjoyed 10 years before were no longer appealing. Yours aren't even old enough to leave at home yet.

My advice is manage your expectations. Try to find things they do want to do - my "hates all boats" DC loves steam trains. Don't want to get off their phones - city break to overlap with a gaming convention. Be prepared to leave them behind for a few hours, at your accommodation, while you do something you want. Work out what you really want from a holiday - you might be as happy sitting in your own garden, enjoying takeaways or meals out, visiting some of the local sights that you usually ignore because they're so nearby.

We arrived home from our holidays with 14y dd this afternoon. I really relate to Venice Face and that really made me and dh laugh.

So I would absolutely agree normally but I had a lovely 5 nights with just me and my 14 year-old in Lanzarote. It was the perfect length of time the perfect level of activity( all in clusive resort, beach near by). Removing the siblings definitely helped too. We both had a great time, read, had screen time, played cards, swam explored the local town. . I would do it again. Divide and conquer

We just got back from an AI in Cyprus with a 12 & 14 yr old. They were OK during the day, didn’t get out of bed until about 11.30am but DH & I just left them in the room and went to the pool and they’d wander down about lunchtime. Total waste of a morning in my view but they were happy and DH and I enjoyed the pool with our books in the morning.

The afternoon we’d all be in the pool, then they’d go back to the room (their phones) about 4.30pm and DH and I would have a cocktail or two. They were OK at dinner but wanted to go back to the room straight afterwards which was also fine, we could watch the show/have a couple more drinks in peace.

We did a boat trip which we all enjoyed and a trip to the water park which was great. But anything historical/walks/local towns etc we didn’t even attempt. We managed a couple of evenings out of the hotel for dinner which they tolerated (by bribing DD with bracelets from the tourist tat shop).

This actually sounds OK.
An idea for next year, thankyou.

You are not alone OP. When they are little they are so easy to please but it’s so hard when they are teens.

Not gone away yet. My 7 DS just declared it not a holiday if he doesn’t go on a plane. He just went away (on plane) with his father and it is not a regular occurrence or a particularly luxury holiday from what I gather but still upset mainly that such a young child develop this attitude. Really disappointed with it and something I really want to nip in the bud.

Haha I believe my parents have a similar photo of me in Lake Garda. Oh how id love to visit Lake Garda now!! If I won some money!

We are in our parents summer cottage abroad. No electricity (so no phones screens or telly). Only running cold water. Toilet is outside and is bio. Dc 12and 14 are coping well. Swimming in the river, SUPing and hiking. They seem to get along well. In the evenings reading books and playing cards. And the thing is that they really looked forward the holiday. Apparently the way of life in summer cottage is so different from home. Both voluntarily left phones home.

Depends what you all enjoy doing TBH I LOVE holidaying with my girls (11, 13, 18) even more now they are older. We hire a villa abroad and have lazy days by the pool (which we all enjoy - younger two in the pool with DH), me and eldest on the side with a wine and a book and a gossip.

we love beach days, and hiring a boat and snorkelling or water sports (I’m not keen but yeh kids and DH are). I am a big fan of history so we do make time for an historical visit or museum etc.

we are all night owls and late risers so we love lazy mornings and long evenings going out for food.

i find this type of holiday so relaxing and love spending time with my girls -

but again, we ALL enjoy the same sort of vibe!

About to embark on holiday with my 11 and 14 year old. Found last year when they were 10 and 13 OK but we do have to find a mix of stuff to do for everyone. Also we usually stay at campsites in France which have plenty for them to do (usually involving the pool) and crappy wifi and phone signal so not much technology available.

They've usually been happy to visit an interesting town or historic site so long as we don't stay too long, they get an ice-cream and they still have time to use the pool. Also do things of their choice like theme parks, adventure parks etc. Am hoping things will still work out this year!

Yours seem quite young to be at this level of grumpy, twatish behaviour op, but when ours were that age we couldn’t go away easily because of covid so perhaps we got lucky!

we’ve actually had some fab holidays during their teenage years and I firmly believe that’s because we heavily involve them in the planning and final choice. I’ve been slated on here for doing that, apparently my dc are spoiled brats for asking for the type of holiday that they’ll enjoy but it’s meant that we’ve all enjoyed ourselves.

Things that have made a real difference:

kids having their own room.
hotel right on the beach and with sporty options (gym, beach volleyball court etc) kept them busy when they wanted to be.
AI was a particular hit - one DS is a grazer rather than liking 3 meals a day so they were in their element. We didn’t need to wake them
for breakfast which they also really appreciated.
Lots of new activities -an alpine holiday where we went canyoning, rafting, biking etc was a particular success and they’ve even asked if we can go again!

Assuming that kids will enjoy something because they have in the past, and booking too far in advance (they change quickly at the age) is a recipe for disaster ime.

Hope it gets better for you.

Mine are 15 and 10 and can do the whole "I'm boooooored" thing too many times on holiday, I feel your pain.
Last year though was the BEST holiday we've had as a family and the key for my two was having outdoor activities to do.
We went to the Ardeche region in France, camped, went canoeing, rock climbing, caving, and the campsite had a very good pool complex with slides, sports facilities plus a river nearby to swim in. It was honestly so fantastic, I'm planning similar next year.

Have to say, some of the best holidays we had were with the kids mine and partners two) aged 8 to 15, just picked places to stay that had things they wanted to do and gave them a lot of autonomy i.e you can go off and do your own thing but the older ones look after the younger ones, same as back in England really.

The Aqualand water parks always seemed to be a favourite.

Not to say there wasn't the usual strops and sulks but overall, we all had a great time.

...or as my 14 yo DD once said to me, "there are no rude and horrible teenagers, just bad parents who don't understand us"

We've tried involving DD in the planning - nope, didn't work, same outcome.

And the days of ice cream/pizza bribes are long over sadly.

We're interrailing around Europe with my 14 year old. Not because I necessarily wanted to, but because I was unable to fly. We're at a nice hotel at the mo taking a quick rest. His face has remained largely unchanged throughout the trip. He's only really lit up whilst chatting to friends on his phone. However, every so often he glances up or looks out of the train window and acknowledges a changing view etc. He chats online to his friends about what he's been up to. I think that teenagers are a bit like cats when it comes to facial expressions and telling whether they are having a good time. However, i am pretty certain that he will appreciate this trip all the more when he looks back on it. It's better to have memories (even if some are slightly boring, than not having them), so I would drag them out for their own good.

Remember it's your holiday too. Depends on their age of course but your best bet is getting accommodation which is on the doorstep of the sights or is nice enough that if your teens want to laze about all day on their phones at least you can either just leave them there and pop out, or you can just sit out on the garden or balcony or whatever and read a book.

Put it this way, unless they're with their mates they're not going to be interested in going out and doing stuff. It's normal.

I can relate to this a bit...mine have generally been OK at understanding we can only manage uk camping type stuff most of the time. But when they're teens and not 100% into the holiday anyway, knowing that all their friends are in glamorous overseas locations did not help!!

I have a teen and a pre teen. We are currently glamping at a music festival. Going down well.