To think holidays with teens/preteens are just rubbish

[ExtrovertedIntrovert1]

Paid a fortune because it's summer holidays.
UK holiday because they both weren't keen on the idea of abroad and it was too expensive anyway.
Everything is "boring".
Tried visiting towns looking round shops. Boring.
Theme parks? No, boring.
Beach? Pointless
Castles or things of historical interest (Ha, absolutely ridiculously boring)
Museums? Haha
Every time we attempt at outing it's just miserable faces then the oldest will eventually pipe up "can we go back to the caravan".... so we can just sit around, on phones, doodling, etc. Basically stuff they would be doing at home.

I know this is probably within the realms of normal, but it's so pointless and boring. Spent a fortune and time/effort researching things that might be fun to do but it's just a waste of time. I even ended up suggesting that I'll just holiday on my own next year but in reality that won't happen. Does anyone do that? I love holidays, beaches, visiting different places. It's depressing to think holidays won't be fun again until they're old enough to leave at home.

Pointless thread but just needed to vent.
Please don't reply if your preteens/teens just LOVE holidaying and you always have a tonne of fun. I don't want to hear it 😂

I miss the preteens and teen holidays.
I never found them boring.
Absolutely loads to fo all tne time.

in fairness, crabbing, rock pooling would bore ME to tears, so I wouldn't blame my teens to be as unenthusiastic as I would be! I'd put up with that when they were very little, because that's what you do, but once they grow up you can finally do more interesting things.

What do they like?
Any place with the kind of sports they enjoy, loads of similar teens to hang out with.

Being away from parents and doing their own things is important at that age.

I can remember being that teenager. I can remember crying because I was so bored!

I didn’t want to go look at old stuff or wander round stupid towns. I didn’t like the beach or going in the water. I hated the heat. I often ran out of books to read in the first few days. I was very shy and would never meet anyone but I wouldn’t have been allowed to go off anyway.

I like some of those things now. I’m still not keen on extreme heat and I don’t really like beaches.

It’s hard, I liked my room and my stuff and doing things. Holidays just seemed so much of a waste of time at that age.

Is that a holiday somewhere sunny abroad ?

When my DS reached 16 he said he was happy to come abroad with us - but he was never going to Wales again !

We used to go to Butlins a lot years ago so there was always something to do .

We were normally abroad but at that stage we left them in the hotel and went and did stuff in the morning
They came and met us at lunch time and we did something of their choice
Then dinner and then they normally chose to stay in the hotel eating sweets and playing on phones and we went to the pub

@ExtrovertedIntrovert1

Haha I believe my parents have a similar photo of me in Lake Garda. Oh how id love to visit Lake Garda now!! If I won some money!

There are campsites with mobile homes on the south side of the lake and you can often get decent priced flights there (at least you could a few years back). There are a couple of theme parks near Peschiera (where a lot of the camp sites are) - so it's not a bad choice for a family holiday .

All inclusive is your friend. Mine are only 20 months apart at 13 and 15 lucky they are quite immature..but all-inclusive and slides and they are happy

I think that teens are contractually obliged to be bored / obnoxious.

They do it so well.

Send them to their grandparents or summer camp. Then fuck off somewhere nice.

Currently on holiday with anxious ASD 12 year old. She hates everything because it’s not her routine and she can’t cope with difference. Also have a 10 year old who is full of energy and wants to do everything! It’s exhausting keeping them both happy!

Aren't they just.
I know that it's all completely normal. Brain development and lots of changes, lots of things going off in their ever changing minds etc... but... I miss good holidays 🤣
Grandparents sadly not an option for us. Not long in the grand scheme of things before they can be left alone while I swan off on my long awaited holiday alone 😁

Good luck! Very hard when one wants to do fun stuff and the other doesnt. It was similar for us last year as the older one definitely has a degree of anxiety.

Just been sat looking at AI for next year but can't find anything less than 3.5k and that's not even going in the 6 week holidays. Is this just what things cost now?? Our last AI hol was 1.8k. eek
Can't afford this.

Honestly it's not like this for everyone. Mine have always loved travelling and loved holidays so we've never had any issues and they are 18 and 16 now. They can be moody at home but when we're away they are fab and just want to experience as much as possible!!

Not really, I loved holidays and didn't care who the holiday was with if they paid for everything!

OP, I have no advice but I do sympathise. We booked our holiday this year around my two stepchildren (17 and 22). The 17 year old dropped out entirely the week beforehand with a completely lame excuse, and the older one refused to come out with us. He just stayed in the accommodation the entire time. It was infuriating because we could have gone during termtime if we'd known in advance the younger one wasn't coming.

I'm not inclined to include them in holiday plans again but understandably DH wants to.

this happened to me this year .I have mourned the end of the bright eyed and bushy tailed era and the golden bit of 8-12 yrs of age hols . A bucket and spade in the UK era mixed with some beach hols abroad .. I did actually cry because

DS 15 vetoed vehemently a proposed 2 week Greek island apt / beach holiday in school hols Younger brother ( 11 ) missed out . We thought about leaving Elder ds with GPs but then I remembered Rhodes 88 as an only child and the wolf whistling waiters !! And realised perhaps the time had come a bit earlier than I thought. .. And I couldn’t do a hol as a 3 . Luckily younger DS 10 said he didn’t mind with the alternative on offer ..
Very very kindly gparents ( for various reasons did not when kids young so was super grateful ) offered to house sit and baby sit during term time for a week whilst we went ! Bliss - it was a shock to do a week that just was so spontaneous ..we’d done overnight weddings , a weekend celebration birthday alone but this was a whole new glimpse of a future forgotten iygwim!

We’ve balanced it up during the hols with big big ticket days out amongst working for or fancy boys stuff out every fortnight ( think theme parks , indoor skiing, paint ball , go karting financially it’s still cheaper than taking them along
abroad !
Mind you elder DS did say after we came back .. ah I might come next year . Is there anyone who could offer for an extended weekend break for you . Big big ask I know ! I had to scrub my house to death beforehand and give my room , ensuite etc . Worth it !!!

I remember similar holiday experiences with my parents when I was a teenager and my kids have been like this on plenty of holidays. The thing that seems to work is to take a friend of the teenager with you or to go somewhere with a really good teens club. Lots of people have mentioned a cruise which we have just done and everyone found something to do that they enjoyed. Dragging the kids around Rome afterwards to see the sites was a whole different story.

Could you try short city breaks in apartments for a while. My teens loved them .

Just back from a holiday with pre-teen! My salvation was an afternoon break from “I’m bored, I’m hungry, I’m tired, when can we go back to the room?” (the last question being 30 mins after we’d left, just after breakfast). I found a theatre show I wanted to see and booked for myself and left DH to manage. DS seemed actually pleased to see me when we met up again later! And I resented the moaning less when I’d pleased myself.

Easy fix... go on a holiday on your own as parents and leave them to their phones.

Pretty much!

We’re looking at October half term
and the price has more or less doubled since we did a similar holiday 2 years ago.

The best holiday we had with our teens was an all inclusive in Ibiza. We used to get up and leave them in bed . They got up when they wanted and for themselves breakfast at about the same time we were getting lunch. We let them choose activities such as boat rides and water parks. We all just tried to make the best of it

I know people will say "these are the times, you can't ban kids from phones, it's a valuable part of a social life" etc, but I can't help feeling this is parent's fault. So many parents, as mentioned in another post, when they just plonk their kids on their phone in restaurants, just outsource parenting to phones and devices.

Rather than actual time reading together, outside, museums, science, whatever, it's just a lot easier to dump them in a corner somewhere with a device.

People are going to hate me for this, but I think this is a reap what you sow deal.

...and before people say these are the times, kids need this, everyone over 35 or so did this before phones, we had no choice.

Omg. I could have written your post about 10 minutes ago when we came home to our VRBO. Roadtrip in the US (we live here so not quite as exciting as it would be if they were British) and it's been a constant complaint of "boring/I'm tired/can we just go back to the apartment and rest play on fucking screens"

I'm sick of being the cruise director when all people do is criticize my plans - while, it goes without saying - not making any effort to suggest an alternative.

I've just told them that it's the last family vacation that I'm planning.

This is good advice, don't let them control your holiday. Just get on with each others own thing, the no pressure might even tempt them to choose to spend time with you

AI definitely worked for us at this stage. But it IS expensive. And done brilliantly, it is eye-watering. So when it seems unappreciated, it is hard not to resent the spend. So we experimented with not making it too spendy too.

With UK s/c holidays we found giving everyone their own room made a big difference. Upped the cost but made everything easier.

Wrote off mornings. AI - left them in bed, had quiet breakfasts with DH. S/C - left cereal/toast/fruit/pastries and went out for a coffee/breakfast/brunch/walk/potter with DH. Or, occasionally, by myself.

Food was all important. Easy when it’s spectacular AI but made some space in the s/c budget to allow for some good pubs, nice places to eat, among some (admittedly crowd pleasing) self catering. Filled a cupboard with snacks they could help themselves to at any point. Saved Nectar points all year for a trolley dash of guilt-free joy…

Also suggested one or two new experiences. Didn’t fanfare/pressure. What I thought they would go for they didn’t, what I thought they would eschew, they loved. Though perhaps including good food as part of the latter experience helped too…

Didn’t insist on them joining in for board games, cards, reading books, movies. Didn’t make a big deal when they occasionally joined in, didn’t comment when they didn’t.

Mine were especially fond of a hot tub - we had some good chats under the stars and it felt special and different to the usual routine.

A log fire late at night was also good for this - whether in a cottage or camping.

Teens are hyper conscious of what their mates are doing. And sometimes I knew they felt the poor relation and at other times they realised they were the lucky ones and having a holiday others were not. Hopefully, experiencing a full range of holidays with their family will be what they remember. Looking back at the last holiday photos, which was difficult for multiple reasons beyond them being difficult ages/stages, I see a lot of happiness.

Good luck. It’s not easy, straightforward or what any of us expect. And quietly planning epic solo fantasy holidays is a perfectly reasonable (and efficient!) therapeutic response when they are being a pain…