There's absolutely nothing wrong with iPad at the table at a restaurant after a child centric day

[moomoomouseey]

Imagine a day, filled with child friendly activities on holiday. Think beach, biking sandcastles, swimming together, pool, diving, playgrounds, reading books together, drawing, child centred show in the evening, fun fair, trampoline jumping.. etc etc..

At the end of all this, you go out for a meal. You bring crayons and paper etc and other toys, but after a while, your children are restless and bored but you want to enjoy your meal. You get out the iPads with headphones and let your kids watch for a bit/ play educational games, while you enjoy your meal in peace.

Some judgy judgerpants walks past and thinks you're a bad parent.

Kids are 2 and 4 or 3 and 5.

Can you get the children to bed earlier? At 3&5 a lot of kids are in bed /lights out by 7.30 and that then gives a great chunk of downtime for adults every evening?

We , as adults , are always on our phones ! You go out for food and you’ll see adults on their phones , taking photos of their food etc

You're on your phone in a restaurant?

Same here. We did things like going out for lunch instead (generally quicker than an evening meal) and always booked self catering accommodation (happily also cheaper!) so we could get the kids to bed then enjoy a glass of wine, cheese, olives etc on a terrace/balcony! Holidays don't have to include evening meals out, i mean its not fun for anyone when restaurants are full of tired preschoolers is it!

If the children have eaten and are getting restless and bored - it's time to take them back to the accommodation. It is obviously too late for them and it's time to wind down for bed

I totally agree kids need to learn to cope with boredom and I think a lot of today's kids never get taught to, but personally I think that's better modelled at home where bored kids aren't likely to become annoying to others.

Your second sentence I feel is a bit judgemental - given the activities OP has described, I'd say she's probably having plenty of conversation and interaction with her kids. A bit of downtime with screens doesn't necessarily equal 'lazy parent using screens as childcare.' It's OP's holiday too and everyone's entitled to a bit of downtime.

Seems to be lots of smug perfect parents on this thread and a few who can't be arsed reading posts properly if you ask me!

Do you not think it becomes other peoples business when the noise from the phone your child is watching is disturbing everyone around them?

Im really sorry things are so difficult for you, but if someone had a child who's additional needs meant that they needed to move around the restaurant and they keep brushing past your chair and it annoyed you, would you be ok with that?

@Anotherloverholeinyohead totally agree!!

I don't judge people on whether they let their DC use devices when out in a public space, that's their choice.

I do however wonder what makes them think that it's acceptable that any diners sat within ear shot should have to, or even wants to listen to the noise coming from these devices when they too just want a nice meal out.

Should the diners have to move mid meal, not dine out if they're not as excepting that some can't use ear/head phones, or just never dine out.

Would those that let their DC use devices at volume be offended if diners refused a table next to them due to device noise.

Some judgy judgerpants walks past and thinks you're a bad parent.

So what did judgy judgerpants actually say to you? If anything...

I honestly don’t think about what other families are doing while dining out because I’m more concentrated on my own.

If the kids aren’t being loud, disruptive, or causing havoc, others should mind their business and concentrate on their own meals and family.

If a child that is not yours is on a tablet and silent, why is it necessary to comment or judge? It’s a snapshot of someone’s life. Same people who moan about such things wouldn’t like if others judge them and are rarely perfect parents themselves.

TV viewing is not being out at a restaurant.

Dh and I had this discussion the other day. We were out for a meal recently at a family place. Our 3 love colouring so we always take colouring books and colours and they all sat happily colouring away and we were all chatting, lovely. Then as they’d finished their meals and we were finishing ours, our eldest went on his phone and our middle went on her iPad game where she builds little towns/decorates houses and makes characters to live in them. The youngest moved onto playing with the few bits of Duplo and his toy cars we also took.

Depending on when you looked at our table you would have either seen a fully interacting family, no screens all of us colouring and thought that was lovely to see or you’d have seen two of the 5 of us on screens not engaging with eachother at that moment thinking all of our meals were like that and we just let our kids have screens 24/7.

What I’m saying is that you just see snapshots of peoples lives, you have no idea what they’ve done with their children earlier in the day and sometimes you just want to eat your food in peace. I say do what works for you.

Yes absolutely

Tbh, I rarely come into contact with children when dining out where they have their tablets up loud, I come more into contact with adults who don’t seem to have control of their own volume when dining out.

We don't own ipads so it wouldn't be an issue tbh...often eating earlier when they're not over tired is the better option. Then they're not needing gadgets to keep them amused.

If they're out too late and over tired then they will be restless.

I also would reconsider what we mean by "child-centric" activities (we as a society). Many times it seems to mean dragging children all over activities that leave them (and us!) over-tired and over-stimulated. We do them with the best intentions, believing they need them, and we all end up tired and stressed. Children need down time and boring time too.

Not everything has to be a teaching and learning event for a child. Sometimes it's fine to do what you need to do to get a bit of peace and enjoyment yourself!

If parents want adult time on hols, hire a nanny for the night or leave em at home with grandparents

Kids need sleep and rest, they wont get that late at night in a restaurant on ipads...bone idle parenting.

Well spotted. My argument has crumbled into dust.

You can’t control what other people are going to think, you can only control how you react. Let them judge as much as they want, it only affects you if you allow it to.

I agree. Feed them at appropriate times of the day when they are amenable to sitting nicely for a meal (not late in the evening).

We do it. After a busy day.. it's time to relax and if this is how children do it.. headphones/ quietly.. can't see anything wrong at all.

Yes, because everyone has those options.

There are countless threads showing that many do not have the option to have grandparents watch their children or grandparents that want to even help in the first place or afford a nanny.

People can easily mind their business and concentrate on themselves and not letting the sight of a child on their tablet bother them. As long as they aren’t being loud or playing the tablet loud, what does it matter?

So if I’m staying in a hotel with a child who can’t be left alone who is tube fed for 90% of his nutrition when would you suggest is an appropriate time for me to eat? Or should we just not go away incase him quietly looking at maps on his iPad upsets a stranger.

How on earth is a bit of screentime idle parenting after a day of planned child-centred activities, and with crayons and paper on offer as an alternative? Especially with educational games on the device(s).