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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think he should not have called me a c*nt!

138 replies

stressedout1994 · 01/08/2024 07:36

Morning all,

Last night I was cycling home from a friend's house. I forgot my lights, so cycled when it was still relatively light, but by the time I was within about 10 minutes of my flat it was quite dark and the roads were busy. I wouldn't normally do this but the roads near my flat are really busy and people drive really fast, so I started cycling on the pavement as they are relatively wide and no one was around.

There was a man on the pavement outside a shop. There was plenty of room to manoeuvre on either side of him, and I slowed down and moved my handlebars to move to the left. So he moved to the left. So I moved my handlebars to move to the right, and he moved to the right. I stopped, planning to get off my bike and wheel it past him.

He shouted 'just fuck off, fuck off!' I was shocked, and involuntarily scowled. He then shouted 'yes that's right just fuck off, don't fucking scowl at me you cunt!'

I just stood still looking at him and then he went into the shop. I then cycled past.

I know I was in the wrong for cycling on the pavement (even if very slowly and only when no-one around) but I think his reaction was completely out of order.

Side note: I have lived in London for 10 years, since uni, and I feel like in the last couple of years there have been more and more people behaving erratically or threateningly. On the rest of my ride home I saw no fewer than 4 men who were clearly unwell shouting in the street, at themselves and others. I don't understand why nothing is done about this. I know lots of people say 'oooh, that's just LONDON, I don't bat an EYELID!', but I actually think that women should feel safe when walking round the capital city!

YABU - you shouldn't have been on the pavement, get some lights you silly moo

YANBU - you should never call a woman a cunt

OP posts:
Goldenbear · 01/08/2024 23:25

ShanequaAndWhat · 01/08/2024 22:46

@Goldenbear on the app so can't quote.

Do you mean using the word is more a Northern/Midland thing as People Just Do Nothing is about Urban life, the pirate radio scene in the West London, it isn’t set in
the North?
Sorry if I wasn't clear. Yes, the word is more northern or midland than southern and from what you're saying you're a laaandaner and that programme is set in the south. That fits that you use it less.

but the man is absolutely using it in a derogatory way and sounds like he was pointlessly looking for a fight as so many men are these days!
Well, yes 100% but he could have used cock, prick, dick or bellend. Him acting how he did makes him offensive. Not which particular swear word he used. Yes, cunt has more ooomph than any based on male genitalia but I don't succumb to that being a bad thing. It's because frankly, female genitalia also has more ooomph.

That makes sense now you have described it, I think it is just the way it was used in this instance that was aggressive and OTT.

Timinfuckingruislip · 02/08/2024 07:21

bottomsup12 · 01/08/2024 22:42

Women aren't safe in UK anymore

I know right? They can have a dickhead on a bike coming toward them on a pavement at any time.

Mercurial123 · 02/08/2024 10:07

bottomsup12 · 01/08/2024 22:42

Women aren't safe in UK anymore

I know bloody cyclists.

Seas164 · 02/08/2024 10:25

stressedout1994 · 01/08/2024 09:14

I know, I think it's because we are all smug, annoying, and look good in lycra !

Show quote history

Smug until you get called a cunt by a pedestrian for cycling on the pavement. Then unrepentant, for some reason.

Original poster
stressedout1994 · 02/08/2024 12:47

@SprinkleOfSunak just going through the responses and just seen yours. I am really sorry to hear that, that's awful. Did your husband get the number plate so he could report it to the police? Even if he didn't he should report to the police with the time and location so they can check the CCTV. The police can be quite useless but as it is a hate crime they should take it more seriously and deal with it.

OP posts:
Rummly · 02/08/2024 12:56

He’s a wanker.

But props to him for using the word ‘scowl’. We don’t get enough of that good use of language these days.

Weefox · 10/01/2025 14:04

Cycling on the pavement is both seriously selfish and dangerous.

A friend's dog died (awful accident really upsetting, as a result of a collision with pavement cyclist. Children and the old are particularly vulnerable.

Diblin93 · 28/05/2025 03:36

You’re coming across as very entitled. You were absolutely in the wrong and could’ve hurt somebody. He shouldn’t have sworn at you like that but you have no respect for the safety of pedestrians - you could’ve knocked someone over, maybe an elderly person. I have no sympathy for you whatsoever and think you should stop bleating.

XWKD · 28/05/2025 04:05

You were in the wrong, but he was being a cunt.

Walkden · 28/05/2025 04:32

Guess he's not a fan of matriarchy chicken!

Elektra1 · 28/05/2025 05:12

Don’t cycle on the pavement. If it’s not safe to cycle on the road because you don’t have lights, get off and walk. You wouldn’t drive a car without lights, or decide to drive it on the pavement because your headlights weren’t working

Callie247 · 28/05/2025 05:46

stressedout1994 · 01/08/2024 08:09

I know that in this situation we were BOTH being unreasonable but my point is that he was being MORE unreasonable! I could tell from this man's demeanour he was just spoiling for a fight or some form of confrontation... had I wheeled my bike or even walked past he would have made some kind of comment.

@LoneHydrangea 'cunt' isn't just 'an insult, bandied about by many' it's the worst swear word because of misogyny. No one thinks 'cock' is as offensive.
A big man shouting that a woman is a 'cunt' in public is completely different to, say, me calling one of my male friends a 'tosser' in jest. He would not have called me a cunt if I was a man. He probably wouldn't have said anything if I was a man. He wanted to have a go at someone smaller than him, and I gave him that opportunity by riding on the pavement.

You clearly think his unreasonable trumps yours but ignore the fact that your unreasonable CAUSED his. If you hadn’t been on the pavement and a pedestrian who had the right of way hadn’t had to faff about changing direction repeatedly to get round you because you caused the problem, nobody would have called anyone anything. Yes it’s mysoginist, yes it’s a bad word but this is more about cause and effect, ie had you not been on the pavement there would have been no words said.

Persianpaws · 28/05/2025 06:06

I think the OP has forgotten about it now since it was last year.

Hopefully she’s remembered her lights for future journeys!

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