to think he should not have called me a c*nt!

[stressedout1994]

Morning all,

Last night I was cycling home from a friend's house. I forgot my lights, so cycled when it was still relatively light, but by the time I was within about 10 minutes of my flat it was quite dark and the roads were busy. I wouldn't normally do this but the roads near my flat are really busy and people drive really fast, so I started cycling on the pavement as they are relatively wide and no one was around.

There was a man on the pavement outside a shop. There was plenty of room to manoeuvre on either side of him, and I slowed down and moved my handlebars to move to the left. So he moved to the left. So I moved my handlebars to move to the right, and he moved to the right. I stopped, planning to get off my bike and wheel it past him.

He shouted 'just fuck off, fuck off!' I was shocked, and involuntarily scowled. He then shouted 'yes that's right just fuck off, don't fucking scowl at me you cunt!'

I just stood still looking at him and then he went into the shop. I then cycled past.

I know I was in the wrong for cycling on the pavement (even if very slowly and only when no-one around) but I think his reaction was completely out of order.

Side note: I have lived in London for 10 years, since uni, and I feel like in the last couple of years there have been more and more people behaving erratically or threateningly. On the rest of my ride home I saw no fewer than 4 men who were clearly unwell shouting in the street, at themselves and others. I don't understand why nothing is done about this. I know lots of people say 'oooh, that's just LONDON, I don't bat an EYELID!', but I actually think that women should feel safe when walking round the capital city!

YABU - you shouldn't have been on the pavement, get some lights you silly moo

YANBU - you should never call a woman a cunt

@Growlybear83 Yes. I agree. I meant that by choosing to use the pavement, cyclists are indicating pavement users do not matter to them. They should not be on pavements. When I was a child you simply never saw a cyclists doing this. They obeyed the law and had manners. It’s just how people were brought up. Now the arrogant cyclist is everywhere.

I’m so sorry that happened to you and your husband. That’s shocking behaviour. .

YABVU to cycle on the pavement and without lights.

’Cunt’ is perfectly valid insult. I’m a woman and I’d call a man or a woman a cunt, if they were behaving like a cunt.

In fact, when I was witness to a crime in the street and had to make a witness statement, the police officer had to solemnly write down the sentence “I had a very brief exchange with the woman when she said ‘What’s this got to do with you, why are you calling the police?’ And I replied ‘Because I’ve just seen you hit someone in the face, you stupid fucking cunt”“.

Nothing is done about people shouting, especially at themselves because our mental health services are stretched so thin they are barely functioning.

You shouldn’t be riding your bike without lights when vision is reduced. You should never be riding your bike on the pavement, but if you are going to because there is no one else on the pavement then you must get off and walk past anyone you do encounter.

I know this is a vain hope but I wish women would stop colluding with the view that a word for vagina is the filthiest thing you can call someone. It’s often said when someone is furious and not safe to challenge but the rest of the time I wish we would all say, Thank you very much, vaginas are amazing beautiful things aren’t they.

I just can’t think of a substitute for cunt as an insult. It definitely has a certain ring to it.

@Fingerscrossed2015

Thank you for taking the time to send a kind message. This means a lot to us, especially considering I told a couple of ‘Mum friends’ who I do consider to be proper friends, and their responses weren’t what I was expecting.

One of them completely minimised the racism, and the other immediately questioned what my Husband did to provoke the ‘rudeness,’ she wouldn’t even refer to it as racism. Both changed the subject quickly too and moved onto something lighthearted. I’m now wary of both of these women as a result.

I checked with my eldest son whether I was right in my opinion of using that word (note I don't use it myself,) and was unsurprised to hear him completely agree with me . His words 'you have brought me up to respect women, and I know I would have to answer to you if I didn't- you are my mum!'

No, he shouldn't have called you that; it was abusive. It's not hard to say 'could you cycle on the road?' without swearing and name calling.

i grew up in London but the East End is not the only part of London and the C word was definitely not the equivalent of the word Twat!

Op, no, he shouldn’t have called you that at all; unfortunately some people can’t express themselves very well and resort to swearing all of the time.

You're a bit of a cunt for this 😂😂😂

Cunt is a swear word some people like and some people don't. There's no need to make it any deeper than that. If you like it, you're not using it in a misogynistic way, it's long developed past its origins of female genitalia. If you don't like it, don't use it but as long as you enter public domain you will hear it because it's a fabulous word.

But to answer your question he was more unreasonable but what you did was not a safe thing to do.

I always love these threads…

OP: I’m going to explain why this totally wrong thing that I did was actually ok because of these special circumstances and I don’t deserve the natural consequences that I received
Posters:You are wrong
OP: No let me reexplain while I’m right
Posters: No you’re still wrong

Not in my world it isn’t and it was definitely not something that was said with any regularity in this country until quite recently and I grew up in a part of London where the comedy People Just Do Nothing was probably based upon! I suppose it’s all part of this move in society for women hating to be mainstream!

The act of riding a bike on a pavement, oh my God so fucking shocking, when people are shocked about stuff like this and think the hostility is justified, it makes me always think they must have had a very sheltered life and live in some kind of Chocolate Box Village! An inoffensive women cautiously riding a bike, then getting off to accommodate this outraged man is so, so scary that this man can’t contain his outrage - grow up!

@Goldenbear I've just googled people just do nothing as not heard of it. I would say it's more of a midland/northern thing.We are also in agreement that it's used more now than previous, I don't think that's anything to do with women hating being mainstream. If anything it used to be much more mainstream. When I was a child it wasn't widely used but this has changed now for some time.

It's not about hating women. I'm a staunch feminist and do not see how or why people are so obsessed with nullifying or putting down a woman's private parts. They are strong and powerful, just like the word sounds due to its short, sharp nature. You can give it whatever narrative you like but that narrative is lesser and the years go on.

Well one of these was illegal and one wasn’t…soooo🤷‍♀️

But speaking of hostility,, you seem to have it is spades 🤣

Do you mean using the word is more a Northern/Midland thing as People Just Do Nothing is about Urban life, the pirate radio scene in the West London, it isn’t set in
the North?

but the man is absolutely using it in a derogatory way and sounds like he was pointlessly looking for a fight as so many men are these days!

I think the normal response in London would be shouting fuck off yourself as you cycled past and never think of the incident again

I met both ends recently. I was running on a mixed use path, on my bloody side. A cyclist came towards me. He veered off into the verge and stopped, because he saw the other twatbadger going far too fast, far too close, about to pass me from behind with no warning. The nice cyclist had seen this and gave as much room as possible to let twatbadger avoid me. Uphill as well so poor nice cyclist had to restart uphill.

So if you know a brown-haired cyclist with a ponytail who makes way for very slow middle-aged runners, please say thanks.

If you know an utter dickhead with a NZ fern backpack, tell them to fuck off from me.

OP just get off and push on pavements. Men shouldn't call women cunts but equally you were acting like a bit of a twat.

Hardly, you have totally misinterpreted my point, maybe because it is online. I am not suggesting you grow up, I am suggesting the man in the OP does as he can’t cope with someone on a bike that sounds incredibly apologetic about it and realised her ‘illegal’ action quite quickly. Mountain out of a molehill comes to mind!

Mea culpa… I did misinterpret. I still don’t agree but I’ll retract my hostility statement 🙂

I hate adults cycling on pavements, I don't care about your risk assessment.

He shouldn't have called you a cunt though.

Well I learnt what ‘mea culpa’ means tonight so to be fair that has extended my vocabulary! 😊

lol @Goldenbear maybe the OP can take this win and forget about the guy on the street!

Silver linings and all that!

Women aren't safe in UK anymore

@Goldenbear on the app so can't quote.

Do you mean using the word is more a Northern/Midland thing as People Just Do Nothing is about Urban life, the pirate radio scene in the West London, it isn’t set in
the North?
Sorry if I wasn't clear. Yes, the word is more northern or midland than southern and from what you're saying you're a laaandaner and that programme is set in the south. That fits that you use it less.

but the man is absolutely using it in a derogatory way and sounds like he was pointlessly looking for a fight as so many men are these days!
Well, yes 100% but he could have used cock, prick, dick or bellend. Him acting how he did makes him offensive. Not which particular swear word he used. Yes, cunt has more ooomph than any based on male genitalia but I don't succumb to that being a bad thing. It's because frankly, female genitalia also has more ooomph.

@saltinesandcoffeecups he did also commit an illegal act. One has been quoted earlier in the thread but you don't have to touch someone for assault to take place. Fear or threat of attack is enough and I would say he did that. Whether you like the word or not, you can't just go around screaming that people are cunts.