to think he should not have called me a c*nt!

[stressedout1994]

Morning all,

Last night I was cycling home from a friend's house. I forgot my lights, so cycled when it was still relatively light, but by the time I was within about 10 minutes of my flat it was quite dark and the roads were busy. I wouldn't normally do this but the roads near my flat are really busy and people drive really fast, so I started cycling on the pavement as they are relatively wide and no one was around.

There was a man on the pavement outside a shop. There was plenty of room to manoeuvre on either side of him, and I slowed down and moved my handlebars to move to the left. So he moved to the left. So I moved my handlebars to move to the right, and he moved to the right. I stopped, planning to get off my bike and wheel it past him.

He shouted 'just fuck off, fuck off!' I was shocked, and involuntarily scowled. He then shouted 'yes that's right just fuck off, don't fucking scowl at me you cunt!'

I just stood still looking at him and then he went into the shop. I then cycled past.

I know I was in the wrong for cycling on the pavement (even if very slowly and only when no-one around) but I think his reaction was completely out of order.

Side note: I have lived in London for 10 years, since uni, and I feel like in the last couple of years there have been more and more people behaving erratically or threateningly. On the rest of my ride home I saw no fewer than 4 men who were clearly unwell shouting in the street, at themselves and others. I don't understand why nothing is done about this. I know lots of people say 'oooh, that's just LONDON, I don't bat an EYELID!', but I actually think that women should feel safe when walking round the capital city!

YABU - you shouldn't have been on the pavement, get some lights you silly moo

YANBU - you should never call a woman a cunt

Female on a bike is an easy target for bully twats, you were not endangering him in any way, i pity his poor wife

Everyone deserves to feel safe, and perhaps he did not feel safe with a bike being cycled towards him on the pavement. I am absolutely sick to the back teeth of cyclists in London. There's one particular light controlled crossing near my office where it is only a matter of time before a pedestrian is injured or killed, as apparently, traffic lights do not apply to cyclists.

If you want the privilege of travelling by bike, do so within the law. There was absolutely nothing to stop you pushing the bike home, you just chose not to. YWBU

Regardless of the rights and wrongs, I am amazed so many people find using this sort of language is acceptable. I have five adult sons, and none of them would use such language to a woman - and they would have me to answer to if they did!

@stressedout1994

You are massively over reacting.

I hate the word, but it's becoming common use, to & by, men & women.

I used to cycle a lot, I don't have an issue with you cycling carefully on the pavement. He was obviously being a dick, it happens 🤷🏻‍♀️. Don't waste your head space on it.

But no, as much as I hate 'cunt' you're over reacting to him saying it to a woman.

@Indianajet

maybe they do, maybe they don't. But you're not with them 24/7.

theyre adults, they don't have to answer to you.

There is no "MORE unreasonable". You shouldn't have been on the pavement. Period.

At the point you realised you had to get off the road you should have got off your bike. You can't try to justify your actions by finding offence in being called out on your behaviour.

Also I think you're clutching arguing that just because a man called you a cunt he did so because "he wanted to have a go at someone smaller than him" maybe he was just generally annoyed by the entitlement of your actions.

Both in the wrong imho.

but how can you say there was “no one around” twice when clearly there was. 🤷‍♀️

I love swearing but I’d never call someone a name in an aggressive manner.

I don’t clutch my pearls over ‘cunt’ any more than I would other profanities. In my work team, I’d say you’d be likely to hear something like ‘what an absolute cunt!’ on a daily basis. 🤷‍♀️

@OdeToBarney

Travelling by bike isn't a privilege. (Well other than having the health to do so)

No there wasn't anything to stop her pushing her bike, but I certainly wouldn't push a bike when I could ride it.

did I miss why you couldn’t go back and get your lights on your bike? I am really tired of having to navigate cyclists on pavements . Peripheral neuropathy from chemo means I am unsteady on my feet and changing direction sharply can make me fall. Do you have insurance for if/when you cause an accident colliding with a pedestrian or would bike insurance not cover collisions when you ride on the pavement ? People do react aggressively when in fear, not nice for you but do try and own your choices and actions.

my point is that he was being MORE unreasonable!

You were breaking the law, he called you a name. He was definitely not being more unreasonable.

Also he wouldn't have called me a cunt if I was a man
How do you know? Men call other men cunts all the time, particularly if they're angry.

Forget it.

Recently my dh and I were cycling along a remote narrow single track road. A big white stupid Rangerover car appeared behind us and honked the horn but given it wasn't safe to pull over (grass verge, deep ditch) we kept pedalling. After a minute or so, there was a slight bay to the side of the road so we gently pulled in to let the car past. At that, the car slowed down and I swear Gemma Collins' Scottish twin leaned over and shrieked, "FUCK OFF YOU INCONSIDERATE CUNTS!" at us.

Well we 😆at her. Comedic classless, ignorant bint.

You shouldn't have been on the pavement but given there was no threat to the fellow, he was unreasonable to call you cunt.
Just be glad you're not him.

This is what I think. If you were so close to home, you should have pushed your bike along the pavement.
I used to jump out the way when cylists came down the pavement and rang their bell seconds before they would have hit me, now I don't, they can either get off the bike or go onto the road if they can't get past me.

Many people hate cyclists btw.

I walked to city centre on Tuesday. I had a cyclist on a narrow pavement I had to stop and stand hard against a hedge. He didn't even acknowledge me and was going fast. Then scooters on pavement and then deliveroo on e-bikes on the pavements, all of which I had to keep out of the way of.

I called them all cunts when they were out of earshot. If I were a big bloke, I'd have been tempted to say it to them I would imagine.

I'm moving elsewhere not in small part due to this.

It wasn't OK for you to risk yourself on a road with no lights but OK for you to risk pedestrians on a pavement with no lights?

OK.

I don't think you know the risk you ran- car doors being opened onto you on the pavement side.

Why on earth didn't you just get off the bike and push it home.

You could have pushed your bike on the pavement. It’s horrible having cyclists cycling towards you.

As for the swearing, can’t say for definite it’s because you’re a woman, some men/women are comfortable with saying the word cunt and some will never ever say it.

The thing is.... I AM unrepentant.... it is a long straight road and the pavements were brightly lit. I could see the entire road and vice versa. I had properly assessed the risks to myself and others. The roads were dark and a one-way system is in place so there was no way I could have gone onto the road from where I was on the pavement, as I would have been going into incoming traffic and then trying to turn and signal in a dark and poorly-lit road. I cycled when there was no one around and got off and pushed my bike where there were people. When I got about 50 yards away from where he was the pavement became busy because there were restaurants, at which point I got off my bike and pushed it the rest of the way.

I know you shouldn't cycle on the pavement, but on a long straight road where you can see everyone / everything coming and there's no one around I don't see anything wrong with cycling slowly for a little bit.

I also think it's disingenuous to pretend that cyclists pose anywhere near the same danger levels as cars, and people in London drive absolutely atrociously. @pictoosh thank you for your thoughtful response. I had a very similar experience recently! Cycling safely in the road, right of way, and two women who trained at the Gemma Collins school of beauty, diet and elocution bellowed at me to 'get out the fucking road' !!!! It takes all sorts...

I know, I think it's because we are all smug, annoying, and look good in lycra !

So if you're unrepentant about cycling on the pavement, does that make it ok if I decide to drive my car along the pavement because it's long, straight, and brightly lit? Both are equally illegal.

Must say as a cyclist, I do come across some twat cyclists...most seem courteous enough but yeah, you do get them.
Encountered a few pricks on the Union Canal in Edinburgh yesterday. I use a trail bike (prefer off-roading) and was effectively mown into by important men hunched over the bars of their ultra-skinny road bikes, a couple of times.
It's a busy-as-fuck multi-user path in the city...dogs, kids, skateboards, the elderly, wheelchairs ALL and EVERYONE uses it.
Like fuck is it YOUR path. Dicks.

That feels better.

@Growlybear83 if you think a woman moving slowly on a light-frame bike is comparable to a 4,400 pound car moving at speed I suggest you go and resit your maths and science GCSE

So why did you even ask? You don't care you broke the law but are incensed someone swore at you for it.

sounds like a cunt to me

Both are illegal and shouldn’t happen

I mean you’re both unreasonable. It isn’t a competition as you seem to think, who was worse.

of course he should not have abused you. But you also shouldnt have been on the pavement cycling.